''I always survive somehow,,
Far from the haunt of the maze, Lawrence is the leader of an undercover operation set on destroying WCKD, leading a rebellion against Ava Paige and her brutal endeavour of hunting for what's left of the immunes. But when...
The fact Newt had the flare was really getting to me, I just had this constant feeling that you couldn't explain, I didn't know why. All I knew is I had a persistent tug in my stomach bursting from its seams screaming mindless nothings, that all seemed to drag me back to him. Newt.
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"What the hell was that?" Filling in that deathly silence was like banging a gong in the middle of a church.
"What happens to us all eventually." My bitter voice added, the gladers looked morbidly around at eachother, their eyes frantically searching for an alternative answer, but none of them found one. Not a single glimmer of blissful obliviousness in their expressions.
They kept it quiet, Newt was still Newt.. for now anyway. And they had to make the most of the time that he was still him, before he was doomed to the flare, it would've been too painful for them to admit it, but they all knew, even if they wished they didn't.
After a while, the silent commotion died down and we got back to planning, every glader pitched in even more than they had before. It wasn't just about rescuing Minho anymore, it was about getting Newt that cure.
My decided explanation for my concern was that I had been missing Eleanor, and Newt seemed to have inspired that memory out of me. Her slowly losing herself, her cycle starting exactly like Newts had, and in that room too. She had flung a table by its edges at Alex, she was strong but she had sent it hurling into the air with unnatural strength, her voice hollow with a shrill shriek.
Since I was thinking about it, Newt, I realised the he had been absent from the planning desk for a while, so I figured I should check on him. And Thomas.
I stood up to leave, touching Gallys shoulder on my way out, my thoughts still focused on our 'moment'. I still wasn't sure what it was, but I couldn't be selfish just because he held my hand, not when so many peoples lives were on the line.
It was only one staircase up that lead me back up to the roof. It was blinding outside as usual, so as my eyes adjusted to the light, I was able to make out two silhouettes sitting side by side. One holding their arm out for the other to see.
"Hey." I called from the doorway, bringing a hand up to shield my eyes I was able to see the pair turning around to look at me, one of them stuffing his arm back into his shirt. "Sorry, I know you came out here for some privacy but you've been gone a while so I just wanted to check on you, see if you're alright."
"We're fine, thanks for checking on us." Thomas shot back sarcastically.
"You don't like me, do you?" I retort after a moment, walking a little closer to them. "Cause I'm so close with Gally? Is that it?"
"Look, I didn't mean to give you that impression it's just-" He sighed, trying to find the words. "You would be the same if you knew what he's done."
"You really think I don't know?" I said, my voice getting gradually more irritated, more frustrated with his ignorance. "D'you know the first thing Gally said to me, was that I should've left him there? That it should have been him? Ironically the only thing that kept him going was when I told him WCKD still had you guys." Thomases gaze sunk into his lap, fiddling with his fingers against his sand ridden trousers, sheepish.
"I guess he just figured he could help." I carried on anyway, lowering my voice to a more civil tone. "Just a way for him to try and get you guys to forgive him." I snapped, stomping back to the door. My hand resting on the handle, but I hesitated. Who knew the boy I'd find on the floor would leave this big of a dent on me. I sigh harshly, my head falling back in despair before I turn back to look at the anticipating pair.
"I know its not my place to say ok? But he misses Chuck too. And I'm sorry for what happened, it must've been hard for you, but don't you for one second doubt it was hard for him too."
My sight subconsciously wandered next to him, a pair of eerily familiar eyes already looking back at me, seeming to empathise with me, his squinting gaze simply staring at me, a slight guilt washing over him again. I sent him a friendly smile, as if exonerating him of his sins.
I turned to the door, edging it open before slipping through the gap, disappearing back down the stairs to leave them alone again.
I stopped before I opened the door to the drawing room. My breathing had quickened, I felt my heart skip a beat almost like I wasn't supposed to be here, like I wasn't meant to be thinking these things, it was the thrill and rush of doing something rebellious. An adrenaline shot of some sort. But I couldn't for the life of me figure out why.
But Newt knows something.
Something I know too, on the tip of my tongue teasingly dangling as if about to spill over in front of me in a, I'm guessing, more than confusing puzzle. Still, ever since this shank has been there, it's everything I've been thinking about.
