My shy mafia princess

Chapter 28

Bellas POV

I look down at my pillow and notice that it's completely soaked by my tears. I just locked myself straight in my room after my parents hurt me and they let me. They didn't say anything after that so I too said nothing. What was there left to say?
This is the end. They must already know this too. How could they expect from me to stay with them after today? It's obvious. I hate them, I just hate them. How could I ever be so naive. How didn't I notice all these years that they are not normal? I should have known. There were many little facts where I should've notice their real identity or at least should have thought something was fishy.
How my mom never had time to spend a day with me. How they always avoided talking about work and how the things they said just didn't make any sense. But I just didn't put one and one together.

This is stupid. I'm stupid. And I've never felt so alone as I do now. Why am I thinking of Luke now? Why did I think he would come rescue me? He doesn't even know where I am or how I'm doing. And this is also my fault. I didn't say anything to him. Why would I? I wanted to escape. I wanted to be free. Now this is what I get from that.

It's been a few hours by now and a light knock sounded on my door. I don't want to see them. But I'm scared they will hurt me if I don't play along.

So i get up and open the door. Just to find my father standing there with a first aid kit in his hands. I try to smile at him but it feels more like a grimace.

„Can I treat your wounds?" He asks me and when we lock eyes his look swollen. As if he also cried.

„That would be great. Thanks." There is a slight shiver in my voice, that I need to work on. I can't let them see my fear.

And I can't but kind of feel sick in my stomach. When I think about how they tortured me and now how he wants to treat my wounds...I feel like throwing up.

,,I love you Bella and I can't say that enough because I really mean it, okay?'', he sits next to my on my bed and caresses my hair.

,,Yeah'', I whisper back. ,,I know.''

He disinfects my back while I grit my teeth together to endure the pain.

I won't cry now. I need to stay strong. When he bandages the wounds I'm happy that it's over.

„You Must be tired, I'll let you sleep." He says and stands up. Right before the door closes he whispers something that sounds like „I'm sorry. I really am."

As if I would believe that now. Not after he hold my shoulders while I was getting whipped. Not after he let it happen. And I already know what they think.
They probably blame Luke for everything. They always search for mistakes in others than actually see their own.

I lean back against my wall and let a hiss out right after. I can't even lean back anymore of pain.
So I lay down on my stomach and just close my eyes.
I hate it here. I'll never feel sie anywhere. I trusted my parents. I was happy to see them and I was relieved I was free and safe. But who would've known I was never safe with them? Who would've known I was actually safe when I was with Luke?
But I can't do this to me. I can't rely on Luke. He's past. My parents will be past soon.
I'll move on...on my own. I just want to be alone and trust only myself.

——

When I wake up the morning I noticed that it's still painful. I drag myself to the bathroom and wash my face with cold water and I start to cry. Why am I crying right now?
When I manage to stop my tears I rub my eyes and grab my make up bag to cover my panda eyes.

I don't wanna live like this.
Should I...should I just end the pain? There's no way to escape it and I shiver when I think about staying forever with my parents. To be locked up again. To endure the physical and mental torture here.
I can't stand this.

I shake my head. Killing myself should only be the last way out. Then I start thinking of Luke. If I die, he won't know. This thought makes me shudder. Then I think that if he dies because of something my parents did I won't know. I have new tears in my eyes but manage to not cry.

I need to stay strong. I want to live. I don't want to give up this easily. How am I supposed to get away? Firstly, I need to play the good daughter. I need to play the role so good, that they will let my leash loose.

But I also can't play this role too obvious. First I have to play my sad and broken daughter role. And then the forgiving one. And then the trusted and obeying one.
It'll take me some time, I already know it. Maybe some days, maybe weeks, or months. But it is worth it. In the end I'll be free.