An Unexpected Love (Book 2 of the Unexpected Series)

Ch. 9 - Communication Breakdown

Summary: Kokoro writes Kakashi back. She hangs out with Junichiro. Gaara writes back.

Dad

Honestly, I didn't know if I wanted to write back. It's been 4 months and you haven't written a single letter to me. How do you think that makes me feel? It's almost like you forgot about me. I wouldn't be surprised if you did. You've always been like that. I think you've tried your best at raising me and being there for me, but you didn't try my best. You've always been distracted when it comes to being my dad. I have fond memories of us spending time together, but I always have memories of being sad, angry, embarrassed, and disappointed.

I know I'm not something you ever wanted in life. I overheard you talking to Asuma about it. I was young, but I remember the way you sounded when you talked about me, like you regretted having me and taking me in. I pushed it to the back of my mind because I knew you were under so much pressure to be a great shinobi and to protect the village, but I felt like a burden. You always told me how much of a big responsibility it was to be a high-ranking shinobi, that you had to protect others whenever you had to leave me all those times. But how was I supposed to take that when I wanted you to protect me. I wanted you by my side for whatever life threw at me, but you weren't there. I thought that if I asked for as many details as possible about your missions that it would make me feel like I was there with you, but it didn't. So, I started asking you to come on your missions. If you had to leave, then I was going with you.

When you finally took me on that mission to Suna, I was so ecstatic! I was finally going to spend time with you, experience different things with you, roam the world with you! You weren't leaving me behind! But we didn't spend that much time together on that trip. I know you had a mission to uphold, but you left me to play with Gaara the entire time. I know you had down time; discussions don't take the entire day. Coming back to the room after playing all day and seeing you cleaned up and lazing in the bed only strengthened my suspicions.

When I found out you were assigned as my jounin teacher, I was secretly pleased. I had wanted to train with someone new to increase my skill set, and I was annoyed that you were so late, but I was glad we were going to spend more time together. Even if we had to share that time with two other people, I was willing to ignore that. But nothing ever goes to plan when it comes to spending time with you. You favored Sasuke over everyone. You left me and Naruto to our own devices, for the most part. You praised Sasuke and pointed out Naruto's and my flaws. You willingly only trained Sasuke before the final round of the Chunin Exams while giving Naruto a subpar teacher and just assuming I'd train with Haku. It's like you didn't want me. If you didn't want me, you could have just left me at the orphanage or with anyone else.

I am grateful you took me in and raised me despite your age and occupation. I don't think my life would have been the same had I been dropped off at the orphanage. But I don't like it when you ignore me and then try to act like a parent. I don't know why you're writing to me all of a sudden. Shouldn't you be training Sasuke? He has to get ready for the next Chunin Exams. The Mizukage actually demoted me to an Academy student, and I've been working my way up the ladder again. I'm certain I'll be ready to take the Chunin Exams in 3 months time. I guess I'll see you there with Sasuke. I'll make you regret choosing him over me. You'll see. I'll be just as strong, if not stronger than him.

Maybe even then you won't acknowledge me. Honestly, I don't even know if I want you to acknowledge me. What would I gain from that? It'd only solidify my fears that you only want to be around people who are strong. I must not have been strong enough for you. I'm sorry I disappointed you. And I'm sorry, but I don't want to hear from you again. Your letter brought me nothing but sadness and anger, and I don't want to feel that way towards you anymore than I have.