Good Enough

Chapter 33

Dean POV

Everyone stood there frozen, the only sound that could be heard was Joshua's slight snoring.

"Are you here to kick me out of the pack?" Ivy asked out of nowhere.

"No, We would never do that," Chris said looking back and forth between Caleb and Ivy, not knowing where to start.

"I used my powers, I killed a lot of people, how am I still allowed to be here?" Ivy asked.

"You did what?" Caleb asked her moving away from her slightly.

"If both of you bothered to show up to the pack meeting you would know what's going on. Now please back to my brother and Joshua being mates? I thought Dean and Caleb were mates?" Chris said completely confused

"They were until this one decided to reject Caleb," Ivy said pointing to me.

I still haven't said anything, I don't have my normal extreme feelings of jealousy that I had a couple of days ago, which is an indicator that Ivy is right, Caleb isn't my mate anymore. When I look at him all I feel is a shame, which is what I normally feel but it isn't followed by love.

"Can I talk to you in private?" I asked Caleb. I need his thoughts on things or insight into how he's feeling about not being mate with me anymore.

"Yeah, sure. Ivy let me know if he wakes up." Caleb said before walking out of the room with me. So he worries about Josh.

once we were outside I didn't know what to say, or how to start this conversation, too much has happened in the last two days, and finding out we were not mates anymore couldn't have come at a worse time.

"I'm sorry I wasn't the mate you deserved. I was a coward and I rejected you, then paraded around with another girl whose brother killed most of my family, and now she's pregnant with my pups. If I was a better mate or a better alpha I would've been extremely lucky and blessed that the Goddess made you my mate. I'm sorry I wasn't." I said, for the rest of my life I would never be able to atone for all the pain I caused Caleb, but I feel like apologizing is a good start.

"Thank you for apologizing, I can't say that I forgive you now but hopefully someday I could. You hurt me more than you think you did." Caleb said sighing. The rejection is considered the worst pain a wolf could experience.

"The pain of the rejection, you taking my virginity and ignoring me for months, and Delilah. all of them pale in comparison to my thinking for almost three years now that I was going to die. After you rejected me I wanted to know what happens to wolves who get rejected. So I did some research and found out that if I didn't accept the rejection I was going to die in three years and if I accepted the rejection I would lose my wolf. So for three years, I dealt with this all on my own because I couldn't risk telling anyone I was your rejected mate, I was willing to die to protect you because you were my mate, you know I felt it, every time you and Delilah had sex. it was so painful I often found myself in a fetal position crying but even in that state, I suffered alone. You have no idea the pain you caused me so I thank you for apologizing but if it's true that Joshua could be my second chance mate your apology won't make me come back to you, I don't care how you or James feel about it because I want to be happy now. I think I deserve to be happy and you have to let me go be happy." Caleb finished the long rant that made both of me start crying.

I didn't know. I didn't know the consequences that came with rejecting your mate and I didn't care enough to look it up, I didn't know he was willing to die just so I could keep James, I didn't know he felt unbearable pain every time I and Delilah had sex, we used to go all night sometimes. I didn't think he wanted to see me after we had sex, I thought he would've been mad but I didn't even make sure he was okay after. I am a horrible person and I was the worst mate and even after all the bad things I did to him, the fits of jealousy, sending mixed signals. He deserves happiness and I know Joshua will make him happy, even when Lucy was alive he would've given his life for Caleb, Joshua fought me and Chris protecting Caleb. I don't understand why Joshua wasn't his mate to be with.