Night and Day (Stevens Book 11)

Chapter 25

When Katherine next awoke, it was to hear Alistair's deep baritone singing the Christmas carol, 'I'll Be Home for Christmas' his voice was lovely, and Katherine listened to him for a few moments until be realized she was awake.

"Good, you're awake again. How are you doing?" he asked as he took her hand and squeezed it.

"I'm all right," she lied because what was she going to say? Everything hurt, and she wanted to die. "You have a nice voice, but why a Christmas carol?"

"Thank you, and because I love Christmas, it makes me happy."

"I didn't know that." Katherine thought about all the time they had spent together, which had never been during the holidays. She felt that it was one more thing she didn't know about him that she probably should.

"I want to ask you a question about something you said earlier?" Alistair said, and Katherine gave a shiver because it was getting colder.

"All right," she agreed.

"You said you already know you couldn't live without me, and if that's the case, why do you keep pushing me away? Why are you pushing me away if I mean so much to you?" Alistair stroked her cheek.

"I told you earlier that it's because of hope. If I walk away, there's always a chance you'll be there, but if you walk away, you won't come back." Her voice cracked at the thought of it. "I might ask you the same thing. Why do you push me away if I mean so much to you." When he didn't respond, she needed to give an example. "What happened last night when I asked about Mason, you pushed me back with your nasty comment, and when you accused me of making up the fact that I was so innocent, that was pushing me away again. Why?"

"My Dad pointed it out to me last night. I always push you away when you show strength. I need you to need me, and I fear that if you ever decide that you don't need me, you won't want me."

"How was I showing strength last night?" Katherine frowned as she tried to understand what had happened.

"It's tied into your fear. You saw your parents grow to hate each other because of money, but, my love, I will always make sure you have your own wealth and never need mine. It's what I do, and I can reason that you will always need me to do that, but last night I saw you in your element. I realized that even if I can't make you money, you can and will support yourself through your career, and it made me realize that you don't need me as much as I believed you did."

Katherine thought about what he said, and while it made her happy that he saw her strengths, it made her angry that he didn't believe that she needed him for love.

"Alistair, I need you like I need air. It has nothing to do with money. I need to know that there will always be another tomorrow and that you will always be there, even when I'm at my worst. It has nothing to do with money. It never did. Unlike my mother, you have all the power in this relationship." Her voice broke in its sincerity.

Alistair stroked her hair back from her face. "Katherine, believe me when I say, in every way, you have and will always have all the power in this relationship. All you ever have to do is ask for the smallest thing, and I will make sure it's yours." Alistair stroked her cheek and wiped a tear. "Perhaps we're looking at this all wrong. Maybe it's not about needing so much as trusting and relying on each other for strength and support."

"Maybe we both need each other equally," Katherine suggested.

"There's no maybe about it," Alistair shook his head before kissing her lips gently.

"Alistair, I have one more question," Katherine asked after he sat back and stroked her hair again.

"Yes, my love," he asked.

"At lunch yesterday, Davis said your family was here to help you with a mission. What is the mission?" Katherine tried to look meek as she secretly hoped it was her.

"It's your family too, and your the mission, my love," she could hear the smile in his voice. "Mom helped me plan it. She told me that my grandmother was one of the most important people in bringing her and my dad together. Because of her, Mom felt accepted and wanted. Her support meant that she was part of the family. She felt that maybe she could pay it forward and let you know how important you have become to our family over the years."

"I have?" Katherine asked.

"You have. Even without me, you will always be a part of the family. Once you're in, it's not so easy to escape it." He laughed, and it was as if the heavens opened. There was a creaking sound, and then a sliver of light as the debris over them was lifted.

Katherine felt her heart opening up in much the same way. Was it as simple as Alistair's family wanting her too? She had to admit that being accepted by all the Stevens was a powerful thing to the woman who had been a child that always felt unwanted. Had Grace always felt unwanted when she was a child? Is this what had happened to her also?

"I lied, Alistair," she felt him tense next to her.

"About what, Katherine? We'll work through it no matter what," he insisted, and Katherine smiled at his determined frown. Seeing him in the growing light above was such a beautiful thing.

"Thank you for saying that. It makes me sure." Katherine reached up, wincing but following through as she placed her hand on his neck. Love hurt in so many different ways, but it also soothed the hurt it caused.

"Alistair," she whispered when his face was only an inch from hers, "will you marry me, please." She knew she had to be the one to ask. It was the only way he would ever be sure of her because of how much she had denied him in the past.

A smile lit his face, and he shouted with joy.

"What's going on? Did you get hurt more?" Grace's voice called from above.

"No!" Alistair called back. "Katherine just asked me to marry her! Should I say yes?"

"You'd better!" Cassie hollered back. "I already have a song picked out. Should I sing it now?"

"Yes! I've been waiting nine years to hear our song!" Alistair looked at Katherine's confused look.

"Aunt Cassie picks all our songs. Well, everyone's but Beth and Fiona, they had to do it their own way, but I'm pretty sure she picked it out anyway and never told them about it-"

"Alistair," Katherine cut him off, "you still haven't answered my question."

"Yes! Yes! Yes! I will marry you as soon as we get out of this hole. Dad, can you arrange that!" He hollered up, he couldn't see anyone, but he knew they were all there listening.

"He's already on the phone!" Mason shouted back. "Sing Cassie. We're all dying to know what song you chose."

"Maybe not those words, Dad," Poppy said, and Alistair could hear the eye-roll.

"Sorry, my bad. Waiting to hear what the song choice is, is killing us! Better?" There was silence above for a moment until they heard Mason say, "girl if you roll those eyes any further back, they're gonna stick! That goes for you too, Beth!"

"They're all yours now!" Alistair promised Katherine as Cassie began to sing an old Cole Porter standard, 'Night and Day'.

"We'll dance to it soon, I promise." Then his lips claimed hers, and Katherine sighed, letting go of any more doubts she had. Sometimes you just had to let go and fall into your happiness.