Taken by fate

Chapter 16

You didn't follow.
After sitting in the same spot for some time I decided that I didn't want to stay there anymore groggily getting up and making my way over to the bed sweeping off a majority of the feathers.
Lying flat now that I had no pillow to prop up my head.
Closing my eyes against the dim light as I tossed and turned trying to make myself comfortable.
Sleep wouldn't come.
'I love you Sarah.'
Like a broken record through my thoughts.
You didn't know what real love was, let alone know that you felt that way towards me.
Frustrated, I got up grabbing the thin fabric leaning down to scoop the majority of the case's guts back inside. Using my arm to make a pile that was easier to grab.
When you spoke about the blonde you said that you thought of her as a sister. The one with black hair you had just wanted to help. Both of them left you, just like your mom did.
What you wanted was for someone to want to stay with you, to give you the love that you never received as a child.
With a mom that said that she wished that she never kept you, a father that beat you till you bled. Everyone that you tried to protect or keep close, leaving you in one way or the other.
In your head you probably believed that you felt this way towards me, maybe you even believed that I could love you back but that wasn't possible.
Not even a chance that I could love the person that stole me away, chained me like a dog refusing to let me go to fulfill your sick and twisted fantasy.
Though your feelings were partly my fault. The fact that I haven't been pushing you away, allowing you to touch me, kiss me.
All those times I wasn't thinking about you. All I wanted was the feeling, alive, free, like a drug. Getting closer to you for my own gain so that I could get one step closer to escaping.
The collar sat opened on the floor by the stairs. For now at least I was just a little bit more free.
Wetness, all across my legs, sitting up seeing red splotches on the white sheet.
"Great."
Of course my period would decide to show up now.
Sliding off the bed making my way back up the stairs taking a deep breath before I grabbed the knob.
Locked.
Of course it was. Why would I assume any different?
Lifting my knuckles knocking on the door three times, seconds passing before I heard the distinct click and the door began to open.
"Sarah, can I."
Holding my palm up to you, stopping your words in their tracks.
"I need a tampon."
Watching the whites of your eyes get huge as you looked down at my legs seeing the blood trailing down my thighs.
"Wait, um, hold on, just stay."
Ignoring you as I walked past the door frame heading towards the bathroom. Opening the door, gathering some toilet paper so that I could wipe up the mess. Wetting the paper just a bit to get off the dry lines.
You came barging in, out of breath with a roll of paper towels in your hand, awkwardly standing next to me.
"Um, here."
"Seriously?" Raising my eyebrows as you held the roll towards me, looking helplessly confused.
"You do have tampons right? You know the cotton on a string that I stick into my vagina so that I don't bleed out everywhere because that isn't going to work."
"Right, um, I'll be right back. Wait here."
Where else was I supposed to go?
Drying off my thighs as I heard you coming back towards me, this time balancing a bunch of boxes in your hands.
"Here." Setting them on the punter one by one, all different brands and sizes. "I'm not really sure which one you need." This time your face was red as you raised your right arm behind your head scratching your scalp in a nervous act.
Grabbing a box of regular tearing the top open and pulling one out turning over to you, cocking my head to the side gesturing with my eyes for you to get out.
"Right, I'm sorry, privacy."
Closing the door behind you, shadows from your boots under the doorway.
Shaking my head as I sat down on the toilet, inserting the tube, popping the tampon. Wrapping the container in toilet paper since there was no trash can to toss the plastic into, leaving it on the counter as I knelt down opening the cabinet under the sink.
Pulling out two rolls of toilet paper grabbing the box of regular before I turned towards the door.
"You can open it now." Annoyed, tapping my foot against the tile.
As soon as the door was open enough for me to get through I went brushing right past you. Not caring that you were still trying to talk to me.
"Sarah please, I'm not usually like this. Will you please just let me talk to you?"
Keeping my stride, making my way through the living room.
"I've never felt this way before, not for anyone Sarah!"
Pausing only slightly in my step before I continued on. Passing through the frame, closing the door, resting my back on the wood.
Footsteps getting closer.
"Sarah please, I know you feel something too, even if you don't want to admit it. There's a spark between us. I feel it everytime I'm near you."
Fire. That's what I felt.
"From the moment I saw you, I couldn't get you out of my head, it was like I was drawn to you. I tried Sarah, but I couldn't, couldn't let you go. That's why I brought you here."
Tears cascading down my face. Hugging the toilet paper and box to my chest as I slid to the floor.
"Please Sarah, just give this a chance. A real chance."
NO!
"Say something please."
"I want to go home." Mouthing the words, barely audible, falling back onto your feet as the door opened.
"I want to go home!" Balling my eyes out as I screamed the words at you.
Leaning down towards me, your legs flat on the floor around me as you leaned my upper body onto your chest. Holding me close, taking a breath.
"You feel something."
I did, my entire body heating up at your touch.
"NO!" Wiggling, trying to get out of your arms. "Let me go!" So close, I needed space. Breaking free, standing up, looking down at you.
"You kidnapped me! Chained me up in your basement!" Throwing a toilet paper roll at your head watching as you ducked out of the way, the roll grazing the side of your skull.
"You took me away from my parents, from my home! You took my entire life from me!" Throwing the other roll hitting you square in the chest.
"And now you say that you love me? That you want me to give you a chance!" Chunking a handful of tampons, hitting you all over. This time you stood, coming towards me, hands raised in surrender. "Get away from me!" Chunking the entire box at your face when you continued to walk towards me.
Taking a step back then another, afraid that if I turned you would grab me. Each time you took a step so did I wanting to keep the distance but my plan backfired when I walked myself into a wall.
Nothing left to throw.
Standing directly in front of me, your chest at my eye level watching as your lungs expanded with each one of your breaths. Turning to the right only to be stopped by your arm, pressing your open palm against the wall beside my head.
Hurridley twisted to the other side only to be met with the same reaction. Trapped. Pressing my body further against the wall getting as far away from you as I possibly could.
Heart beating rapidly, my breaths catching as I closed my eyes tilting my head down.
Rough fingers reaching under my chin, nudging my face up, not allowing me to look away.
"Look at me and tell me that you don't feel anything between us." Eyebrows squinted together, your eyes misty, jaw clenched pleading with your entire face for me to say yes.
Lip twitching, my face soaked with tears. Using your right hand to grab the hem of your shirt, lifting the cotton fabric up to my cheeks gently wiping away the tears.
"Just tell me how you feel right now."
"Confused!" Yelling the word at your face, unable to look you in the eyes.
"About what? Tell me, talk to me." The t-shirt still on my skin as you placed your other hand on my opposite cheek.
"Everything, being here, you, everything is so different. I have so many emotions and I can't even sort them out. Too many, it's confusing." Trying once more to twist my body out of your hold but you leaned down grabbing me around my waist holding me there.
No use. Drooping to the floor, the only thing I could do in your iron grip. Letting me as you wrapped your body around mine holding my limp body against you as you rocked me back and forth.
Talking softly into my ear. "What's one emotion that you can pick out?"
"Anger!" My tone is strong even with my teeth clenched together.
Voice completely calm as you studiedly asked, "what are you angry at?"
"Being here! I should be at home! That's where my life is!" Tears shooting out like a freight train.
"What else?"
"YOU!"
"Why?"
"Because you took me away, took me from everything that I know." Words coming out in bits as I tried to catch my breath. Lungs on fire as my throat tightened making it almost impossible to get in a good amount of air.
"What else?"
"THE POLICE!" Oh I was mad at the police. "For not finding me!"
Knees curled into my chest, arms wrapped around squeezing harder, hiding my head as you brushed your fingers through my hair.
"Anything else?"
"The stupid bus driver for being late! He could have stopped this, stopped you. He could have stopped all of this from the beginning!"
"The bus driver was always late and yet you still came out early."
How long had you been watching me?
"I had a schedule, I had to be outside. That stupid fucking detour sign is what caused this!"
"Caused what?"
Where you fucking stupid or just acting dumb!?
"Me being here with you, only you!"
"And you're mad about that?"
"YES!" Screaming. "You're the only person I have seen in a month! A whole month!"
"And?" Hairs tickling my scalp as you continuously run your fingers down.
"And what!? You're the only person I've had to talk to, you're the one that chains me up and brings me food. The one who brought me here in the first place. Telling me stories about your childhood that make me want to cry everytime I think about them. You've touched me in places that I've never been touched before and I let you! Why do I let you?
I don't understand.
How can you do all these horrible things to me and also be so caring?
Consoling me when I'm sad, talking me out of a panic attack. Why am I letting you hold me right now?"
Hiccuping, bundling parts of my shirt in my fists.
"I want my life back." Finally pulling away from you looking hypos directly in your eyes. "As long as I'm here I'm not free."
Pushing away from your chest as you opened your arms letting me get up. Watching as I walked back to the basement stopping by the open door. Keeping my back to you, not daring to look into your eyes.
"If you loved me like you say you do you would give me what I want and let me go."
Closing the, walking down the stairs, grabbing a bottle and draining every bit of water. Thirsty, feeling better as the water entered my system sitting on the edge of the bed letting exhaustion take over until I could barely hold my eyes open anymore. Passing out before my head even hit the sorry looking folded up pillow.