Taken by fate

Chapter 18

By the end my stomach hurt from laughing too hard.
This felt normal. More normal than I had felt in awhile. Playing cards, joking around, sitting in the living room. Just normal everyday activities.
Getting up from the floor reaching your hand out to me as I held on letting you pull me up.
"Are you hungry?"
"Yeah, I am." Stomach gurgling.
"Wanna help me out in the kitchen?"
Nodding my head as I followed behind you.
In the past I would help my dad out in the kitchen every now and then. Though I mainly just watched, we would talk about our day. I missed that, I missed him.
"What do you want to eat?"
How could I answer that if I didn't even know what you had. Opening the fridge door looking through the contents seeing that it was fully stocked. Fruits, vegetables, condiments, water, and milk. Sliding the bottom freezer drawer out automatically eyeing a thing of whipped cream pulling the small container out.
Taking the lid off and digging my finger in scooping out a bite.
"Hey, that's not food."
Licking my finger clean going in for another scoop.
Walking over to me, dabbing the bit of whipped cream left on my finger into the tip of your nose, hiding the bowl behind me so that you couldnt take it away.
Laughing as you crossed your eyes, looking at the glob of fluffy cream that was melting down your nose.
"Oh you think this is funny don't you." Placing your hands on my hips tickling my sides as you tried to smudge the whipped cream onto my face.
"No!" Laughing as I dodged away, back pressed to the counter keeping me from getting away.
Still protecting the whip cream behind my back as your eyes landed on mine and everything stilled.
Lifting me up on the counter, using your thumb to wipe off your nose, licking the mess away. Left eyebrow raised  as you looked at me with a wide grin on your face.
"You enjoy that while I make real food." Pulling up your shirt to dry off the rest of the residue.
Sounded like a good plan to me. I hadn't had any real sugar in awhile and I was enjoying the creamy goodness. Almost better than ice cream.
Watching you pull out a pack of meat tossing the entirety into a pan turning the heat on while you filled another pan with water. Opening a small door that was the pantry pulling out tomato sauce and noodles as well as with a few bottles of seasonings.
Walking over to the fridge to pull out some greens as well letting the tomato sauce simmer on the stove.
Strange how you reminded me of my dad when you moved throughout the kitchen. Never in one place too long, always hoping around to chop or stir or add something.
Maybe that's just how everyone looked when they actually knew what they were doing in the kitchen.
Recognizing the ingredients for spaghetti. Taking one last bite before jumping off the counter to put the container back in the freezer where it belonged. Pressing myself back onto the counter staying out of your way as you came back to the fridge for something else.
Swinging my legs, acknowledging that I felt a lot better then when I had first woken up. Knowing that I was most likely dehydrated from the lack of water and also from losing all that blood.
Now since I've had both sugar and water my body didn't feel groggy anymore, and I was gaining my strength back.
Thinking to myself that all of this could have been so much different. The fact that I was sitting here now, almost happy, as you cooked me food after we had played a card game.
So different from what I first thought when I woke up in the basement, or when I saw the marks on the bed. Thinking that you were just going to rape me until you were bored. That you were going to kill me.
Now I know different.
You were still messed up, but you weren't a serial killer.
Having to grow up in the condition that you did, being told by your own mother that she didn't want you, being beaten daily by your father, those marks on your back are proof of the horror you've survived.
There was no way that I could deny that you were caring. Hell, you took care of me while I was practically dead for the past five days. You got me to laugh and to let go. Brought me back from the nothingness that I was stuck in, that I was going to stay in.
Stirring the sauce slowly, tasting a bit before adding in some more spices and chopped up vegetables.
Somehow I knew that you were just as confused with your feelings as I was with mine, though maybe I was a bit more confused if I was being honest.
Not like you had been given much love in your life seeing the lines on your back poke through the fabric on your shirt.
Turning around, catching me looking, smiling as you brought the spoon over to me.
"Taste."
Parting my lips as you placed the wooden spoon slightly into my mouth. Swearing that if I hadn't actually seen you make it then I would have thought this had come from a restaurant.
Licking my lips.
"You like it?"
Nodding my head. "That's good."
Smiling even wider as you went back over to the stove.
"Do you want me to do anything?" Sliding off the counter over to you feeling useless.
"If you want you can grab some plates out and some forks."
Turning around not exactly certain where anything was but glad that I had something to do. Opening every cabinet and drawer till I gathered what I was looking for. Finding that you actually had glass plates and stainless steel silverware instead of the plastic crap that you brought to me downstairs.
Going past me, opening the freezer pulling out what looked like pre-made garlic bread sticking them on a pan not minding that I was there at all.
"Do you want to go pick out a movie? This is almost ready."
"Sure."
At first when I walked out of the room the first movie that came into my mind was lady and the tramp. Kinda ironic how close this was to that situation. Lady far from her home, tramp helping her keeping her safe, the whole famous eating spaghetti sharing the meatball scene. That's where the similarities ended because Lady eventually made it home but so did the Tramp.
Then there was the fact that they actually stayed together.
Scratch that.
But I was in the mood for a comedy so instead I landed on Ratatouille. Leaving the screen paused waiting for you to come.
Two heaping plates of cooked noodles covered in sauce and parmesan coming around the couch. Slices of garlic bread on the sides of the plates, placing them down on the coffee table.
"I'll be right back with napkins."
The food looked as good as it smelt. Sitting on the carpet digging my fork in twirling the spaghetti up taking a bite. Then another. Hungrier than I realized as I bit off the corner on a piece of garlic bread. 
"Here you go." Handing me a napkin and a bottle of water. "So Ratatouille huh. Never seen it."
Dropping my fork mid bite, luckily falling back onto my plate causing only a minor splash.
"You've never seen Ratatouille before?"
"Nope but I'm guessing it's about a rat."
"That rat's name is Remy and he happens to be a cook."
"Rat that can cook huh, now I gotta see this."
Pressing play as you sat back on the couch resting your plate on your knee. 
Halfway through the movie I had finished all my food stacking my empty plate on top of yours. You had been finished for awhile, but I wanted to savor the flavor once my need to shovel the food as quickly as I could into my face had passed.
Crawling up into the couch, your arm leaning on the back, leaving your chest open. Inching closer seeing that your full attention was on the screen.
Cold, there were no covers on the couch even curled into myself. I wasn't getting any warmer.
Scooting closer, laying my head on the crook of your arm making you look down at me as I settled in. Loosely hanging your arm over me as you kissed my head.
"Comfy?"
Nodding my head as you rubbed my arm filling me with heat.
Full, warm, happy.
Honestly it wasn't so bad being here.
Laughing together as the chef came in to find all the rats cooking in the kitchen.
Seeing your hand resting on your thigh moving my hand over, on top. Small compared to yours, letting me turn your palm over, tracing the lines.
The same hands that had taken me, that have touched and cared for me. Consoled me when I was crying. Hands that held fire in their touch, just like your other hand was doing now.
Calluses from hard work covering them, blending into your skin. Thick as I ran my fingers over them, around them.
I love you Sarah.
I've never felt this way for anyone Sarah!
I couldn't just let you go.
I know you feel something too.
What was I feeling right now?
Leaning against you, cuddling into your side. Maybe I did feel something.  Admitting that bit of truth to myself but I still wasn't sure what that something was.
Entwining my fingers through yours, accepting with a small squeeze while your other hand fanned through my hair.
Is this what a date felt like?
Never having been on one before but it had all the details. Food, movie, cuddling, and feelings.
Though they weren't usually under these circumstances.
Ending credits scrolling across the screen, finding myself a little sad. Pulling my hand away as I sat up, no resistance from you.
Wanting to do something, grabbing the plates, taking them to the kitchen as you followed behind. Scooping the sauce into the trash before rinsing the glass off in the sink.
Opening the dishwasher, putting the first plate in then the other, closing the door, adding soap to my hands.
Turning to see you holding a washcloth.
"Thanks." Taking the cloth and drying my hands.
"You're welcome."
Swirling the cloth in my hands after I was done, leaning against the counter unsure of what to do next.
Spinning on my heel heading out of the kitchen down the hall knowing that the first door led to the bathroom. What about the other three? One had to be your bedroom. What did that look like?
Heading further, turning to see that you hadn't followed, probably thinking that I was heading to the restroom. Passing the first door, stopping at the next one.
"Empty, you can look if you want."
Jumping at your voice, not sure if I trusted you. Twisting the knob pushing the door open.
Nothing.
Taking a step inside seeing the sliding doors to the closet but that's not what pulled me into the room.
A window on the far back wall, blinds covering the view.
Before I even got close I knew that it was dark outside, no light seeping in. Even still I pushed the blinds aside so that I could look out, eyes going directly to the sky.
Only a few stars shone bright enough for me to eye but that didn't matter. They were beautiful all the same, something I never thought I would see again.
Directing my site down, seeing a big yard filled with grass, a large fence surrounding the outer edges. Too tall to even try to climb. Fingers pressing against the glass wanting to be outside to press through and feel the grass in my toes.
Sighing, letting go, closing my view out. You were there leaning against the door frame watching me. Your body taking up the entire space, a curious look on your face. Stepping aside as I walked out of the room turning right towards the door at the dead end of the hallway.
"Closet."
Pulling the door open seeing two empty clothes rods on either side of the walk in closet. Wooden shelves above the storing more boxes of tampons as well as folded sheets and covers. A washer and dryer on the back wall. About the same size as the bathroom.
Stepping out, turning to the last door that there was.
"My room."
Pausing there, not moving.
Imagining what your room looked like.
Messy bed, clothes all over the place, posters hanging on the wall. Granted I've never been in a guys room so I wouldn't really know how they looked.
"It's alright. You can go in if you want. There's nothing I want to hide from you."
No, you just wanted to hide me from the world.
Reaching out, feeling the coolness of the metal as I turned the knob. Did I really want to know? Of course I did.
Releasing the door, letting it open fully.
All the walls were bare. There was only a dresser to the right, with nothing sitting on top, no clothes sticking out of the drawers. The only other piece of furniture was the bed. Almost exactly like the one I've been sleeping on though this one didn't have the posts. The covers were messy, the only thing that made the room look lived in.
Nothing to personalize the space, to make it yours. Only the basics and that was the bare minimum.
Bookshelves covered my walls, stacked with books and trinkets. Butterfly stickers on my wall with fairy lights around the top perimeter. My vanity was covered in pictures of my parents and friends, stuffed animals hanging in a net in one corner. Full sized bed that was also never made up, shoes running along the entire bottom. Something different everywhere you looked.
This was boring.
Another window sat past the foot of the bed. This one would show me the front yard. Would I be able to know where I was?
Heart stuttering as I walked in. Planning on heading straight for the window then deciding to sit on the bed instead. Even if I looked out, even if I had an ounce of knowledge about where I was, that wouldn't help me right now.
Again you stood in the doorway as if you were waiting for an invitation even though this was your room.
"Where's all your stuff?"
"Don't need much." Coming in sliding the closet open revealing a couple handfuls of shirts but that was it, noticing a few that I had already worn. Your jeans and underwear must be in the dresser. Also realizing that there weren't any other shoes either. Those boots really were your only pair.
Shanking my head.
"What?"
"You only own one pair of shoes."
"They last and they're comfortable. As long as they work, why would I need another pair?"
"I had a lot of shoes."
"Oh yeah." Talking as you kicked the boots off onto the closet.
"Depending on the activity, I wore my converse a lot. They were my favorites but I had others too."
"And you wore all of them?"
Pausing to think. There were a couple of pairs that I hadn't worn in awhile, mainly heels for fancy events. Though I always preferred flats.
"No, but they were there in case I needed them."
"That's smart. To be prepared."
To be prepared. More likely I had just gotten them because I liked them. Like a lot of other stuff in my room. The nightlight, shaped like a cloud that had a smile and changed colors. Or the countless bottles of body spray that I switched between liking all the scents. Even the antique alarm clock that sat next to my bed, that didn't even work. I just liked the way it looked.
"Why don't you have more stuff?"
"I just have what I need, I don't really see a point beyond that."
A bedroom was supposed to tell you about a person, what they liked. This room was empty, though maybe that fit you perfectly.
Not being able to hold onto things, losing the things you cared about. Not having a proper childhood, first being taken away by losing a parent then to abuse. Living on the streets couldn't have been easy. I can't imagine being able to carry much out there. Working all the time to save up the money.
No time to actually enjoy life.
Grabbing onto your hand leading you out of the room as you followed willingly not stopping until I was at the door that I now knew led to the back yard. Keeping a hold of your hand as I glanced up at you.
"Ok."
Unlocking the deadbolt bursting through before you had a chance to change your mind.
Cool air hitting me in the face, smelling the grass. First time I've been outside in over a month.
Excitement filling my body as I jumped around, spinning in circles before falling to the ground hearing your laughter in the distance. Digging my toes into the dirt, fingers running across the blades of grass smelling the fresh air.
The tall fence paired with how dark it was, blocked my view from seeing anything further.
Half full, the moon was high, casting its glow across everything. Eyes scanning the sky picking out the stars that were visible.
"When I was young my parents would bring me out to the backyard at night. We would roast marshmallows, sometimes my dad would even pitch a tent so we could stay out all night. Mainly for me though, I would refuse to come inside. My mini vacation from the real world."
Smiling as I talked.
"We would tell ghost stories, play charades which always had my mom and I laughing practically the entire time. My dad was by far the worst player no matter how hard he tried.
At the end I would look up at the stars for hours. I used to think they were guardians watching over us, angels that shined bright giving the darkness a bit of light.
As I got older I learned that they were just balls of gas burning light years away from earth but that didn't make them any less magical. In fact I loved them even more.
Just imagine a light so bright that it made its way all the way here for us to see.
Centuries of stories behind them. Everyone, every culture and time has their own versions. All of them, so different and yet they are all about the same glowing balls of light."
Turning over on my side facing you, as you sat on the ground next to me. Fingernail gently tracing lines on your knee leaning down to watch me as your skin turned white. Showing the shape I had drawn.
"The Big Dipper."
Glancing up at you seeing that you were transfixed, gracing over the lines yourself.
"Skyspoon." Speaking the word softly.
At that you looked up catching my eye, surprise filling your face.
Picking up my hand kissing my knuckles, smiling ear to ear.
Laying down opposite on the grass next to me never letting go of my hand as we continued to watch the stars together.