~Saylah~

Chapter 3

Y/n's POV

My life is a complete shit show.

I'm 4 months pregnant now. Insane.

I was so exhausted. I had been working as much as I could. When I wasn't working I was trying to finish school. I didn't have any free time what so ever.

Besides not having free time, I was the most emotional I had ever been. I cried when I saw Sarah watching The Little Mermaid, I cried when JJ let me where his hoodie, I cried when John B brought me one of my cravings. I cried over everything.

I knew I was annoying everyone but they would never admit that to my face. They were all trying to be there for me on top of having they're own lives. I felt terrible honestly. I hated feeling like a burden and even though they kept trying to convince me that I wasn't, I couldn't help but disagree.

Pope reminded me everyday that I was suppose to feel stronger emotions now that I was pregnant, and that I shouldn't worry about it, but I felt like I was genuinely down right depressed.

If I wasn't at home crying about stupid shit, I was at work, walking around like a robot.

"Hello, I'll be your waitress, my name is Y/n, what can I get for you today?"
"Would you like to try our special of the day?"
"And what for your drink?"
"Your total is ___"
"Would you like to donate to the children's hospital?"
"Thank you have a nice day!"

All with a smile on my face. Every single day, every single night.

Constantly and never ending.

Another thing that sucked was I'd throw everything that I ate up, unless it was what I was craving at the moment.

Lately its been pickles and takis or  two waffles with Nutella and peanut butter smushed into a sandwich. And it had to be eggos chocolate chip waffles or I wouldn't eat it.

The boys where good at keeping them stocked though so I was proud.

Everything else had seemed like a blur. The baby was apparently smaller than it should be. My doctor said that I'd been putting myself under to much stress and I needed to slow down. I didn't want to hurt my baby but what the hell was I suppose to do? I'm freshly 16, pregnant, and living in a three bedroom house with a group of friends. I didn't know how to calm down. My doctor suggested therapy but that's just more money that I don't have. I'm also paying for school and Jesus Christ it was just one thing after the next.

Now Big John was going on his two week voyage in a week. Since I had met him I had grown quite attached. He'd already helped me in ways that my mother never had, and he'd become the father that I wanted and needed.

I was gonna miss him, even more now because I wasn't right in the head and he always reminded me about the good things. He kept me grounded.

He had already begun packing and I was helping him before I had to get on my zoom call for social studies. I needed one more social studies credit and I'd never have to do it again so I was very excited.

"Why don't you go rest for a moment before you have to do anything?" He said smacking my hands down trying to get me to stop.

"Excuse me sir! I was folding that." I smacked his hand back picking the shirt up again.

"John B!" He shouted.

"Yea!" He yelled back.

"Come make her sit down!" He yelled and I groaned.