~Saylah~

Chapter 5

Y/n's POV

"I don't even know if I want to know." I told Kie as she painted my toes.

"You really don't want to know the gender of your baby? I mean I get the surprise but wouldn't it be so fun to throw a baby shower?" She asked me.

"I'm not trying to be a bitch Kie but I don't want to celebrate this... it's not gonna look the way I pictured it being in my head and I don't want it any other way." I told her.

"I'm sorry." She said knowing that the entirety of the baby was a soft spot for me. Everything that came before and how it all panned out, I didn't see any reason for there to be a celebration.

"It's not your fault. I mean the first time I even felt a connection with my baby was when I thought it was gonna die, but now I feel kind of how I did before. It's just a creature inside of me." I sighed and so did she.

"Well one day, that creature is going to come out, and you'll love it more than you could even imagine. My mom told me she felt the same way when she was pregnant with me. She couldn't fathom the idea of being a mom or being in charge of another human. But you see her now, everything turned out ok..." She smiled encouragingly.

"I don't know what I would do with out this crazy group of friends. Speaking of which why aren't they back yet they have me food." I said.

It had been about a month since I almost miscarried. I finished my bed rest and had been doing pretty well for the most part. Chrissy had been running her mouth on Instagram, but I could give a shit less about her. She won't even look at me once I have this baby. She's scared and no one can prove me wrong.

Adrian tried to reel her in but she was trying to get back at him too. So he was no help to the situation.

"Pope just texted me saying they got stuck. He said that they turned to sharp and now they're stuck in the mud." Her saying that nearly made me cry.

"God damn it. I just want some tacos." I wined.

"I know. Hey we're in walking distance, you wanna go grab the food and leave them?" She asked with a grin on her face.

"That's the best idea you've had like, ever. Let me put my shoes on I said I hoisted myself out of bed and struggled to put my shoes on.

At this point in my pregnancy, I could barely see my toes and putting on shoes was a battle. A plus was being able to balance my food on my belly while laying down. But that was about it.

My ankles were always swollen, and I didn't walk anymore, I waddled. I dreaded the day were I developed the pregnancy waddle, but it came and there's no getting away from it. My back hurt constantly and working was actually hell.

But regarding the almost miscarriage, the baby's fine and healthy. And has been since then. Although what I said to Kie about having no connection with the baby was true, and regardless of what everyone told me, I felt like it was my fault.

So I did everything in my power to keep it safe.

The doctor did say exercise was good, so I quick walk won't be to bad.

"They would get stuck when they're bringing me food." I said as we walked down the dirt road.

"I'm surprised it hasn't happened yet. They're always doing something stupid." She agreed.

"At least none of them are hurt." I said as I saw the car halfway in the ditch. It really wouldn't be hard to get out. The tow truck would barely half to work, but I need my food.

"Hey guys. Everything ok?" I asked and they all looked at me annoyed.

Pope stood with his hand on his hip talking to the tow truck operators while JJ and John B tried to theorize other ways so the would have to spend any money.