THE FIRST TIME

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                   PROLOUGE:
Kalimpong
                Life is not exactly what it seems to be! My life is like an oasis in the desert.  I may appear to be too perfect and happy but that is not the reality. I have many secrets which is only between me and God.
I just fell in love but never expected anything in return. I fell in a selfless and a hopeless love. There was no hope in my love. But I still continued to follow my heart in the hope that someday this hope will ignite.
The raindrops remind me of her. That was the time when the first page of my love story opened. Her pretty black eyes, pink lips and olive skinned slim body, made me crazy at the first sight. There was an unique attraction in her eyes which I felt for the first time.
Sometimes when I remember her, I feel like I am in Heaven by God’s grace. I don’t feel like I am still alive on this cruel and mean world. Living here is not less than living in the Hell. For me, World is the Hell before death and Hell is the World after death!
Her enigmatic character made me more curious and drawn towards her. With each passing second, my love for her increased. It kept on increasing and promised never to stop.
She always remained isolated from others. She had a world of her own. She had neither friends nor family except Pari. She did not had an address. Nobody knew who she was or where she came from. All that everybody remembered was that she was my Mathematics teacher, Ms. Erica Fernandez . But wait...I knew that she was someone else, Emma...Emma...what? I don’t know. But she is my Emma. She is my dream. She is my first and last love. She is mine.
The young man pauses his pen and keeps the pen-paper beside him. He is wearing a regular tee and pant. He has dark brown, attractive eyes which are enveloped by tears. Somewhere guilt has blanketed his face.
It starts thundering. He looks up at the sky. He gets up from the jute swing in his balcony and comes to stand in the garden. Cold zephyr of the mountains kisses his cheeks. Suddenly, a raindrop kisses his hand. A genuine and a hopeful smile spreads on his face. He looks hopefully at the sky which is completely enveloped by the dark clouds.
‘Oh Emma! I know it’s you.’
He blows a flying kiss to the sky.
‘I still remember that day. I still remember you! And I love you, Emma.’
He looks at the sky with eyes full of love and tears. His heart's GPS is still searching for her location. He believes that someday God will reward him for this dedication and faith in his love.

                                    

                       CHAPTER-1                  
                                              
                  The First Time

             Kolkata is the city of joy, they say! But it did not proved true in case of Ritwik . He is lost. Lost in his world! The sudden demise of his grandmother has jeopardized his life. He never imagined that one day he would be away from her forever. He always slept with her even though he was provided by a separate room of his own. He would use his room for the whole day and be with his grandmother in the night.
He is a spunky young boy of seventeen with a blessing five-feet and eleven inches height, fair skin, dark brown eyes, thick black hairs with an army-cut hairstyle and light moustache on his face owing to his adolescence growth. He is wearing his school uniform with a blazer on top of it.
He never missed a single story by his Tham, he would address her dearly. The stories were always on a repeat mode. But still he was not bothered by that. Because he loved to hear her voice. He loved her speaking. Her voice modulation was extremely soothing. It would take him into a world of peace- no human, no animal, no insect, no vehicle and no cruelty. It would take him near a waterfall where he would be sitting on the grass near it and enjoying the sound of the gentle flow of water down towards the river. It was better than any professional singer’s voice. That would always be the best part of his twenty-four hours’ day. But that is the past now. There is no NOW for all these.
This disappoints him always. He regrets that why did he not get up that night and responded her? Why did he gave his sleep more priority? Had he gotten up on hearing her voice that night, today she would have been in his world. Today she would have been with him.
                                               *********
‘Rit, I could not find my pump. Please go to the next room and bring it for me. It’s there,’ his grandmother pleads.
She is wearing a white saree and has white hairs on her head. Her skin is totally wrinkled. She is wearing big and round spectacles. She keeps on calling Ritwik .
‘Rit, please get me. I can’t breathe,’ she says breathing heavily.
‘Offo, Tham. Don’t ruin my sleep. Nothing will go wrong,’ he yawns and closes his eyes.
‘Rit, I’m not getting my pump. If I don’t breathe then...’
The voice dies. There is a complete silence for a few seconds. Ritwik’s eyes suddenly open and he finds his grandmother resting her head against the wall behind the bed. He checks her heartbeat and pulse rate. But there was no response. There was no LUBB DUPP.
‘Maa, Baba!’ he shouts.
                                 *********
Tears roll down from his eyes. The guilt which he is carrying in his little heart cannot be removed by any means. It is intended to be with him till the last breath of his life.
Rain has already started. Everyone is hurrying to find a shelter. But Ritwik  is not bothered at all. He is in his world of lost hopes and guilt. He kicks a stone on the street and looks towards the direction of the movement of the stone. It goes in the forward direction. He suddenly sees a black long leather jacket. Something happens to him and he looks up. He sees an extremely beautiful woman, much older than him. She is also walking in the rain, lost. She is also not bothered by the rain like him. She looks up. Her pretty black eyes, pink lips and olive skinned slim body mesmerizes him completely. He could not take his eyes off her. Her beauty took him to heaven.
He notices that she has tears in her eyes.
‘I’m not the only one!’ he consoles himself.
The lady keeps on following her footsteps. Ritwik  decides to follow her. He starts walking behind her, unnoticed.
She stops before an old wooden cottage. A little girl comes out of it and hugs her tightly.
‘Welcome back, Mamma!’ she greets her. The lady kisses on her cheeks. He sees that the lady locks the door from outside and goes with that girl towards the backyard.
Ritwik gives a questioning look. He did not understand what happened just then. Why did the lady locked the door from outside and went inside her house by the backdoor like a thief? All these questions were taking a tour in his mind. Suddenly, he hears his phone’s ringtone. He takes out the phone from his pocket and sees RUBEL on the screen. He receives the call.
‘Yeah! I am on my way,’ he says rudely.
‘I don’t think so, Ritz. It’s been fucking an hour for our school to be over. Where are you?’ Rubel questions.
‘I’m coming. Kindly let me in my space. Behave like my best friend and not like my girlfriend,’ he warns.
‘Oh really? Thank you so much for making everything clear.’
Rubel disconnects. Ritwik gives an irritating look after the conversation and clicks a photo of the cottage. He simpers and leaves for his home immediately.
                            ***********
‘Aren’t you supposed to be straight home after school?’ Vani rebukes him.
She is a sweet and a responsible housewife. She is wearing an orange saree and a white petticoat beneath it. She looks at Ritwik with an worrying expression.
‘Whatever!’ says Ritwik.
‘This is rude. I want to make things clear between us. What’s eating you up, Fuchu?’
‘Oh c’mon Maa, I’m not a baby anymore. I’m of seventeen now. So just stop addressing me as Fuchu for God’s sake. You every time embarrass me in front of my friends by saying Fuchu on a repeat mode. This ain’t funny, okay?’
‘Oh! Now I see. This is your complain. But you will always be a baby to me, no Rit?’ his mother makes an innocent face and tells him.
This irks Ritwik.
‘Enough, Maa! You don’t even know what I am going through. You don’t even bother to ask. All that matters to you is Arya and Baba. I am no one in your life.’
‘Are you done? If you didn’t matter anything to me then why would I be worrying about you? Why would I be rebuking you?’
‘Formality. You are just doing the formalities of being a mother,’  he says coldly.
‘What? What did you said just now, Rit?’
‘The truth.’
‘Yeah! Now you’ll use me as your scapegoat for everything that you did to your Tham. I know it very well why is it sucking you so much these days? You are still living in your past.’
Ritwik 's eyes fill with tears on hearing the word SCAPEGOAT.  He doesn’t speak a word ahead and goes upstairs to his room.
‘Oh no! I shouldn’t have behaved with him like that,’ Vani says.
                        

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