Allie
Today marks 7 months.
7 months since the word 'no' meant nothing to someone who took everything and gave me even more.
He gave me sleepless nights because every time I close my eyes, I'm back there again.
He gave me night terrors so bad I wake up screaming and crying, sweat covering the bed.
Gave me the shame and guilt that now follows me.
He took everything, gave me more reasons to not want to live and what does he get?
He gets to be free. Gets to walk the earth, go to school and live a life when I'm barely here by a thread.
Besides Kyla and Seth, I have nothing to live for.
The fluffy white snow falls down silently outside of the living room window, the sugar cookie candle I lit doing wonders for my nose.
Peering down out the window, I see Dwight, the snowman I built yesterday still standing strong in the park across from us.
Behind me, there's a click, and some footsteps advancing towards me.
I peek over my shoulder, noticing Noah standing there freshly showered, staring at me.
"If you take a picture, it'll last longer." I mumble, turning back to the window.
The counsellors say it's normal to feel alone, to feel guilty and forgotten.
But-
"Maybe I should." Noah takes a seat beside me, where my head is laying in my arms that are resting on the window seal.
The snow has slowed down, the street lamps illuminating the flakes as they fall.
Seth and Kyla aren't home, celebrating the New Year with a date night.
"How's your aunt? I heard she went into care."
Without looking away from the window, he says,
"She's good. She broke her hip and since we have no family out there, my dad, her brother, decided to put her into care in Saskatchewan."
"I'm glad she's okay."
We sit in silence for awhile, to focused on the snow that heavily falls.
My hands start to shake in my lap after awhile, and tears come to my eyes.
Why?
I don't know.
"Why are you crying?"
Noah's eyes frantically search my face, his eyebrows making a V.
His thumb brushes against my cheek, wiping a few stray tears away.
He's so close to my face, I can feel his breathe tickling my nose.
He's absolutely stunning.
His jawline could be as sharp as a knife, his nose slightly crooked to the left.
His wet hair is swept all over the place, almost like he just got out of bed and the sweatpants he's wearing does not help my imagination.
And his eyes.
Their so vibrant, so bright and blue I could die in them.
And their filled with concern as he asses me.
A choked sob slips out, my body shaking as I sob more and more.
"I'm going to touch you now, okay?"
I nod at Noah's words, and then his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me into his lap so I'm sitting on him with my legs wrapped around his waist.
His eyes meet mine for a second before he gently pushes my head into his shoulder.
That's when I bawl.
I cry so hard I think I'm about to pass out but I focus on Noah's hand that strokes my back and head.
Up and down.
Up and down.
That's what I focus on until I'm calm.
"Oh god. I-I'm so sorry. I-"
"Stop. Don't apologize. Please. It breaks my heart."
"Oh. I'm sorry-"
His eyebrow raises. "What did I just say?"
My head hurts from all the crying, and now I just want to sleep.
I can feel my body relax against his, and Noah must pick up on it as he gently puts his arm under my back and knees, lifting me up bridal style and carrying me down the hall.
I tense slightly, but relax again once I realize I'm fine.
He carry's me into my room, slipping me under the covers like I weigh nothing.
"I'm not sure when Kyla will be back but I'll tell her-"
I cut him off with a shriek when he turns the lights off, leaving me alone in the dark with alone the night light.
"Back on! Turn them back on!"
He scrambles, flicking them on before I start crying again.
"Can-can you stay? P-pl-please?"
My voice breaks, my arms frantically flailing in front of me.
Yep, I look stupid.
"Okay, okay. Don't worry. I'll stay." He gently grabs my arms, tucking them into my body before he lays down on the bed behind me.
"It's okay. Your safe." His arms gently circle me, caving me in as his back is pressed to mine.
"Hey, Noah?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
His arms tighten slightly before he says,
"Anytime, pretty girl."
Ooo, I like that.
VOUS LISEZ
Not So Alone (West Coast Campus Book 1)
Roman d'amourI had to flee. To escape. I couldn't take the pain of people telling me to be okay. That I was a survivor. But what about me being a victim? All because a few people refused to hear me when I said no. Now I carry around pain, fear, a disgusting fe...
