Not So Alone (West Coast Campus Book 1)

Chapter 20

Allie

Can't breathe. Can't breathe.

He's-he's grabbing me. He's-

A sob splits my throat in two in front of everyone, Noah's mom eyes shine as she brings a hand to cover her mouth.

She looks horrified.

Understandable. I'm dating her son and this is what I offer him.

"Ice cream. Let's get ice cream. It's on me." Seth gathers Claire and Noah's mom, Rose, and ushers them out the front door.

"Allie. It's me. Just me. I'm going to pick you up now. Is that okay?"

Noah's voice is the only sound left in the apartment, trickling calmly down my ear.

He's holding my face in both of his huge hands, his thumb brushing my cheeks.

I give a curt nod, and then I'm being gently lifted up into Noah's arms, my face pressed against his shoulder.

The pain in my chest becomes more intense like someone is adding weight plates to my chest every second that ticks by.

I remember that Claire, Noah's little sister, was mute for the better part of a year so I sign with my hands the one sentence I know.

"I can't breathe."

He nods, understanding.

Kicking my bedroom door open with his foot and turning on the lights with his elbow, he places me on the bed, still cradling me against his chest.

"Tell me three things you see." He asks.

I shake my head, still having trouble even breathing. The weight on my chest still constricts me, my body twitching in his arms as he runs his hand down my hair.

"Allie. Please breathe. Please. I can't stand to see you like this."

His voice breaks on the last word and that gives me motivation to try.

"I-I see the door. My desk and you."

My voice is ruff, foreign to my ears.

"So good. Now, tell me what you can hear."

"I hear you. Only you."

His eyebrows soften slightly, easing the crease on his forehead.

"Name three things you can touch."

Sucking in a sharp breathe, I exhale and say,

"I can touch my bed. My nightstand and you."

I trace his lips, all the way up to his ear with my finger.

"I'm so proud of you." He whispers.

"Where-where did you learn all of that?" I ask him.

He looks away before locking eyes with me again but with a blush on his nose.

"After your first panic attack and I couldn't do anything, I-uh contacted a specialist who works with anxiety and asked him what I could do to help you."

My lips part and my heart beats ten times faster.

This boy.

He did that. For me.

"You didn't have to do that. You-"

"I wanted to. I needed to because I couldn't help and sit here and watch again."

He sounds so small as he tells me this, like it would actually kill him to see me in pain.

I smile gently as I press my lips to his, feeling a smile build on his before he pulls back with a stern look on his face.