In and Out of Time

and in the distance...

I wake up and stretch out my limbs, groaning as I hear a few pops. I gradually raise to my feet and I can smell a sweet aroma wafting through the crack under the door. I quickly dress myself and I tiptoe downstairs, trying not to make much noise. My father's guests sometimes stay over and I'm not sure if last night was one of those times.

"I swear that girl sleeps as if she has nothing to do" I hear my father scoff and I immediately know he's referring to me; the disdain in his tone being a dead giveaway. "In her defense, she really doesn't have much to do" I hear a woman respond and even thought it supposed to be in my 'defense' she says it in a way that implies disapproval.

"Here you go, sir" I hear Fran say, I presume handing him a cup of tea. He says nothing in response and I hear her feet begin to pad my way. I lean more on the wall and watch as she walks straight ahead and to the foyer, her shoulders slumping slightly. I swear he treats the workers like animals, I'll have to bring her something to cheer her up.

As I think of possible things to give her, my father's voice rings in my ears once more. "Planning for this ball has been unbelievably stressful" he sighs, oh poor him. Wait... did he say ball? I lean a bit closer to the doorframe, hanging on his every word. "Forgive me, but, Harriet did this much better than I" he complains and I swallow a lump in my throat.

The woman he references is my mother; I haven't heard him mention her since she died. Well, not so directly at least, he never utters her name anymore. "I understand" the woman mumbles and I assume this is the part where she puts a comforting hand on his. "Anyways" he clears his throat and I hear the chair rock back lightly.

"I sent out all the invitations so it must take place tomorrow night, no exceptions. I'll just have to send someone out to wrap things up" he groans, "you could send Marion. Give her something useful to do" the woman snickers. I frown at that, how dare she order me around? Surely my father won't actually listen to her.

"You may be right. Fran! Wake Marion and tell her to find me" he calls out and I quickly hide. "Yes, sir" she mumbles before scurrying past me and up the stairs. I, for one, would not like to be here when he finds out I'm not in my room. I quietly make my way to the back door, managing to get out swiftly and silently.

I sigh and head to the stables, in desperate need of a ride. Savannah perks up as she sees me and it brings an instant lift to my mood. I pet her gently before opening the gate and letting her move to stand beside me. I retrieve the saddle, placing it securely on her and then hopping on. I'm sure my father has found out by now that I'm gone and this will be the first place he has Fran look, so I make haste.

Savannah starts quickly and I steer her towards the woods. There's a little path there that we take sometimes and that's where I'm headed. I duck and dodge low hanging branches as we venture further into the forest. We come to a little opening and usually this is where I turn around but I have no interest in going back so soon.

Besides, I haven't been able to take Sav out much recently so this is much needed for us both. I continue and notice that the trail veers to the right. I follow it and slow down a bit to take in my surroundings. The trees thin out to bushes and flowers begin to fill my vision. I smile softly and I see that it flares out again up ahead.

I slow to a stop and blink a few times as it feels like I've entered a different world. I must've been going pretty fast because I've been everywhere in this town and I've never seen this. I truly have no idea how far I've wandered. I hop off Savannah, instructing her to sit next to a tree close by.

I, unfortunately, didn't bring the reigns and can't secure her. Normally that wouldn't be a problem but we're in a new place. She's quite shy and I just hope she doesn't get spooked. I continue on foot and quickly realize what I'm walking through—a cemetery. I know it's not 'necessary' but I begin to take extra caution with my steps.

I don't want to step on top of anyone's grave, it's just a superstition of mine you could say. I hear a sound from a little distance away and realize I'm not alone. I crouch down a bit, pretending to read a headstone. "I'm so sorry" I whisper, to who I'm not quite sure but then again maybe they can hear me.

I peek my head around and notice it's a woman but not just any woman, it's her. Red hair covered in a scarf but a little bit of the front peeks out. I can't hear what she's saying from here, though her mouth stops moving before I have time to try. She stands and brushes off the skirt of her dress, holding an umbrella over her head.

She takes one last look at the stone before walking away. Her steps remain graceful but I notice the way she slightly drags her feet. As though she doesn't want to really leave or maybe it's just the grief weighing on her. Once I'm sure she's gone, I head over to where she was crouched. I take a close look at the engravings, Sir Francis Tremaine.

Was this her brother? Her husband more likely. I mean, when you look like that... of course you have a husband. This saddens me for many reasons, some may be a little selfish. Of course I'm sad that her husband has passed away, as I know how it is to lose someone. On the other hand, it saddens me because it means... well it means I have no chance.

Not that I had one to begin with, I doubt she'd even give me the time of day, but now I'm almost certain. Not only that but it's clear she's not over his death, anyone with an ounce of intelligence could read it on her. I sigh and stand back up, heading back to Savannah, only to notice she's not there anymore.

I groan and start my path back home, at least it gives me time to think. I'm not worried about her, she knows her way home and that's probably where she went. I manage to make it home before sundown, the journey telling me just how far I'd ventured from home. I quietly slip in the back door and head straight up to my room.

I haven't done much of anything today but I feel like I've been around the world. Maybe it was the walk but I have a feeling it has something to do with that woman. It's like I could feel the sadness evaporating from her pores, even from so many feet away. I finally get into bed and my eyes fall shut as soon as my head hits the pillow.