17| Insomnia

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I place the eraser back on the table as I finish erasing the last of the outlines from the sketch of the diamond set I designed

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I place the eraser back on the table as I finish erasing the last of the outlines from the sketch of the diamond set I designed.

Smiling in satisfaction I place the paper in the file and close it.

Stretching my arms above my head I stare at the sketches I drew from the past four hours.

During my university days, for my assignments and exams, I used to draw so many designs of different kinds of jewelleries and thought of every single gem which would suit it best.

Having insomnia has it's perks.

I mean, extra work hours, workout, extra time to catch up on anime I used to watch or movies.

Sleep is over rated.

I used to sleep decently when I was a kid. Until nights become my enemy and sleep was a dangerous thing I couldn't afford.

Shaking my head, I remove my glasses and place it on the table. Snatching the pack of cigarettes, I frown as I find it empty and the ashtray next to it full of blunt buds.

Picking up the ashtray and empty pack of cigarettes, I get up and throw it in the dustbin.

I reach for the shelf beside glasswares where I usually keep my cigarette stash and come empty hand.

I search the whole rack and realise I finished my monthly stash.

And it's only twelfth today.

I guess the stress was too much.

Raking a hand through my hair, I try to think of other things which could distract me from the idea of having a stick in my mouth.

I go to the pantry and pick up two large packs of chips and go the living room. Turning on the tv, I put up another episode of anime I was watching and start eating the chips.

Halfway through the episodes, both of my chips packet were done.

I have read somewhere when people decide to quit cigarette, they gain weight. Now I know why.

I throw the empty packets away and wash my hands and continue watching the whole episode.

For two episodes, I was engrossed in the story, but then my hands started itching and mouth craved for something to be put in it.

I pause the episode and walk around the room.

The first task I am doing this morning is ordering extra packs.

I slap my thighs in frustration.

Fuck, is this what all those druggies feel when they don't get their hit?

I am a nicotine druggie myself.

I sit back on the sofa and rub my neck in frustration.

My eyes fall on the centre table where I keep chocolates in the small golden bowl which my grandmother gifts me everytime I visit her or she visits me.

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