Bow and Sparrow

CH 24

"Who's Ayla?"

Rylan's fingers circled my wrist, pulling me back to him and rooting us in the now empty cobblestone street. He tilted his head towards mine until his nose brushed against my forehead as his eyes searched mine. Something stirred in their hazel depths, something fierce and curious that made me not want to ever look away from them.

"She's my little sister. I just wanted to keep her safe, but I don't even know that she is."

It was like something burst inside of me and I couldn't keep the floodgate closed any longer as the words poured from my mouth. I told Rylan everything in the middle of the street. The raid on Dast, my not-so brilliant escape plan from the slavers, the recurring nightmares that I realized now were caused by my nagging guilt for my loved ones back home that I had buried deep within myself.

Rylan listened to it all with his unwavering gaze while I unleashed my burdens on him. I hadn't realized I was crying until his lips grazed my cheek where a tear had fallen. He stayed there as he tasted the salt on his lips.

"I'm sorry."

I pulled back, ready to tell him that it wasn't his fault -that none of this was his fault- when he continued.

"I've been selfish, keeping you at the camp. It's been a long time since I've felt..." Rylan shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts. "Knox told me you're well enough to travel. We'll leave tomorrow."

Rylan wanted for my reaction, but I didn't -couldn't- give him one because I already knew. "Knox told me too."

"He did?" Rylan's eyes widened in shock, his eyebrows almost disappearing beneath his hair that brushed his forehead. His hands dropped to his side and he took a step back. "When?"

"Before you came back from the hunting trip."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because," I swallowed hard, tucking my hands behind me to keep them from shaking. "Part of me didn't want to leave."

"I know what you mean." Rylan murmured, closing the gap between us again. He brushed his hands against my elbows, coaxing my hands from behind my back. One hand traveled up my arm, goosebumps left in its wake, until it rested in the hollow space above my collarbone. He tilted my head up until my brown eyes met his hazel ones, and he leaned down, down until his lips were only inches from mine and I could taste the honey on his breath. "We should go before it gets any later."

"We should." But neither of us moved. Only when something clattered down the street did we finally break apart. Rylan looked as though he was going to say something else but instead started down the street, keeping a slow pace so I could keep up with his long legs.

We made it back to the boarding stable where Rylan paid the awkward stable boy, who left to go get our horses. When he came back with two reins in his hand, I stepped forward first and grabbed the reins that were attached to Dava's bridle. I heard the stable boy chuckle behind me but I ignored him. I was not riding Chester back if I could help it.

To my surprise, Rylan didn't argue as he stepped up to Chester who greeted him with a contented neigh, nuzzling his shoulder. Of course, I rolled my eyes.

With the help of the stool that the stable boy placed at my feet, I swung my leg up and over Dava's towering back and I settled in the saddle. It wasn't until I looked down did I realize how much higher I sat atop Dava as opposed to Chester. I just hoped she behaved better than he did.

We were mostly silent on the ride back. Rylan had taken one of his new books from his satchel and was thumbing through the pages and I was lost to my own thoughts.

'We'll leave tomorrow.' I tried sifting through my turmoil of emotions. The truth was a part of me didn't want to leave even though the rational part scolded me for it. This wasn't my home and it never would be, but I knew that a part of me would remain even after I left. I had forged relationships here and it would take more than leaving to forget those.

I stole a glance at Rylan who was blissfully unaware of my existential crisis. He was content in his book, and a small crease had formed between his brows as he read. Chester behaved dutifully, never once wavering from the path back to the camp.

My mind was made up. I would leave tomorrow with Rylan but I was not going to sacrifice our last night together.

After the horses were stowed away in their stables, we finally returned back to Rylan's cabin. I was currently sitting cross-legged on the bed, watching as Rylan crouched in front of his bookshelf. He rearranged his books, adding the new ones to the shelves, in silence. We hadn't spoken much since leaving Hazend and I wasn't going to be the first one to break it.

Rylan sat back on his heels, dragging his hand through his hair with a long sigh. I noticed he hadn't touched a single book in a long time. Instead he stared through them, past the stories and somewhere far beyond.

"You might as well start over."

Rylan snorted before coming over to sit next to me, the bed dipping from his weight. His knee brushed against mine. "It's going to be weird without you here."

"I think you'll manage." I nudged his shoulder, managing a sad smile.

"I want you to know..." Rylan shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. "I wish we had met under different circumstances."

"It wouldn't have mattered." A look of confusion crossed Rylan's features and I hurried to explain myself. "I mean, what are the odds of a Verdanan and a Rezantrian ever meeting, let alone..."

"Let alone, what?"

Rylan cradled my face in his hands as he drew me in closer and his honey-sweetened breath invited me in. One of his hands wandered down my side, tracing small circles on my hip before pressing into the small of my back. His fingers flirted with the hem on my tunic and when his fingers brushed against my freshly healed scars, it sent shivers up my spine.

I pulled back, fumbling with the tie on my shirt. Rylan watched with hooded eyes, the flickering candlelight turning his hazel irises into molten gold. He covered my shaky hands with his warm, steady ones.

"Are you sure?"

"I want you to see me."

With my back turned to Rylan, I finally tugged my shirt over my head. I heard his sharp intake of breath when he saw the scars that I had been dreading to look at myself, but it didn't disturb him as his fingers splayed across my bare back, exploring each bump and ridge of the scars that had formed there.

I thought it would bother me -the scars- but they were more of a reminder of Rylan than the slavers. And from the way Rylan peppered featherlight kisses over them, it was difficult to remember just where they came from. Without the scars, I wouldn't have the memory of him. Though the pain of my past lingered in my mind, something else had taken root in my heart.