Lose You To Love Me (Mafia Romance)

CHAPTER 35

CHAPTER 35 - MAKING DECISIONS

I was speechless.

Out of words.

Dumbfounded.

To be honest, I didn't expect Theo to say those things, let alone utter something so serious and bold.

"Because if you ask me what I want, you won't like it. If you allow my desires to take over, selfishness will consume me to the point of no return. I will keep you. I will fucking kill anyone who tries to take you away from me. I won't let you go, even if it means you won't be happy, just to make sure you stay by my side."

Theo's honesty sent chills down my spine. I knew he meant every single word he said and they were both terrifying and comforting at the same time. And if I let his desires take over him, I would be in deep deep trouble... with myself.

Don't get me wrong, it was terrifying, but not in a sense of terror. But fear of my own desires.

Desires to be consumed by him.

I want it, but that means I would compromise my own morals and beliefs, and that would put me in a terrible situation.

Then again, I wasn't sure how to interpret his words.

Was this his way of telling me how he felt, or was this one of his manipulative ways to give me an ultimatum?

Maybe he was just being truthful about his wants and the lengths he'd go to in order to make me stay. Maybe he was just being direct, like always, about not wanting to lose me. Maybe he was just being honest about how he felt, and I was just being paranoid. After all, I have to consider the possibility that he was just being real and not manipulative.

Besides, it didn't seem like he was trying to coerce me into staying with him or even control the situation. Theo just wanted me to decide, to choose.

I bet most would definitely interpret his words as a threat, especially with a background like that--being a mafia boss.

But not for me. I didn't have a problem with any of his words.

Weirdly enough, I wanted it. I wanted to be his.

I wanted his protection, and I wanted to be with him.

And I knew he wanted me too.

He wants to keep me.

But there's one thing that bothers me. He said his desires were selfish and keeping me could end up hurting me. But I can't put a finger as to how it would hurt me. I don't understand why he thinks that way and it worries me.

Is there a bigger picture I'm not seeing? What is the underlying reason he's worried it might hurt me? Do I need to be willing to make a sacrifice for us to be together?

What else do I need to sacrifice?

The annoying thing about me is that I just let him leave after saying those things. I had the opportunity to make things clear, but I was taken aback by his openness to act or even speak up. How could I intervene when it was the first time I heard Theo say something about his feelings?

Each word was said with conviction and had a deep meaning to it.

And it made me wonder, does that mean he actually...

I shook my head, trying to get rid of the hope that was forming in my head.

Don't lose yourself, Lia! I reminded myself.