Breaking again (Jacob Black)

Chapter Ten

I could feel it, I could feel him. Jacob was back. I could feel the pull and I knew he had to be close. I'd woken a few hours earlier and had this tingling in my chest that grew stronger with each passing hour and it became clear that it was our bond, My wolf was back. My brain was thinking of what I wanted to say to him, how I wanted to bite his head off and beat his ass but my heart was pulling in the opposite direction. Now that I could feel him close I wanted nothing more than to hold him, to be in his arms.

"Natalie what's the hurry?"

My mom squeaked as I crashed into her

"Sorry mom, have you seen my keys?"

She simply chuckled and pointed to where they hung on a hook in the kitchen,

"I'm headed over to see Leah"

She wasn't exactly Jacobs biggest fan after my downward spiral so I didn't want to tell her where I was actually going. I knew it was wrong to lie to her but I also knew she wouldn't understand why I needed to see him. She was still in the dark about the pack and right now that's how I wanted it to stay. The less she knew about what was really out there the better. She worried enough about me, if she knew about vampires she'd probably lock me up for good.

"Okay, I have to head into work and then daddy and I have that corporate dinner with his work sponsors so we may be back late. Will you be okay alone?"

I gave her a peck on the cheek and a salute as i headed for the door.

"I'll be cool mom, probably crash at aunt Sues. Love you"

I barely heard her reply, too in a hurry to get to Jakes. I thought since he was back he'd have turned up on my doorstep by now but since he hadn't I was going to him. Pulling up outside the Blacks residence I saw Rachels car parked outside beside the long undriven rabbit. I practically skipped to the door excited but nervous at the same time.

"Oh ah hey Nat"

Rachel was quick to answer the door once I knocked but the look on her face when she saw me had my stomach sinking into my feet.
"Is he here?"

My voice came out almost as a desperate plea and the more I stood there staring at Rachels conflicted expression the more I knew something was off.

"I'm so sorry Nat, I told him as soon as he got home. I told him to come see you but he wouldn't listen to me"

My eyes began to fill with tears as I listened to her

"Rach just tell me. Please"

Deep down I knew but I didn't want to admit it.

"He's gone to the Cullens. To see Bella"

I swear I could hear my heart shattering in my chest, it was happening again. It was dé javu, he'd picked Bella over me. Again

I didn't even bother sticking around to hear Rachel try apologize for her brother. I needed to get away, far away. Screw Jacob and screw this imprinting bullshit. That's all it was, bullshit. Without hesitating I drove straight to the liquor store, my fake I.D had been confiscated by Leah but I knew the guy that worked there and he had a soft spot for me so he didn't hesitate to sell me what I wanted. I knew it was wrong and I would be taking ten steps backwards but at that point I didn't care. I needed to numb my pain and escape reality.

After driving around for a bit I found myself on first beach with the two full bottles of Jack in front of me. I gave my phone one last check to see if he'd text or called but i saw he hadn't i tossed it into the sand and opened a bottle.

"Screw you Jake"

*******************

Leah Clearwater