Heather

Bee

Author's Note:

Hi, if you are reading this then you are only the 3rd person to do so, other than myself and my bestie. 

Thank you for reading!!

Please tell me if you like it.

- NRY

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"Mommy?" a sweet raspy voice wakes me up from a dreamless slumber. Moments like these are what I live for, seeing my little angels face every dawn, sunlight caressing his face like golden silk duvets. Swear to god, he looks more grown up every morning.

"What is it baby?" my voice comes out a little shaky likely due to the 8 hour long dehydration as I laid in a deeply enchanted stupor in my bed. I get up hastily, looking around the room, willing my furniture to tell me what gave my baby trouble. Finally when I realize my inanimate cohabitants don't really talk to me I turn to the baby in question. Out of all the rude inanimate objects in my room, the clock gave me one tidbit. 

It's 3 AM!

"Bee, why are you up at this ungodly hour?!"

"Don't be mad mommy!" he whispered in his cute voice. Sometimes I just forget how sensitive this kid is when he wakes up, but again why is he up at this time!

"I am not mad baby, just tell me why you are up?" I ask rubbing my eyes.

"Uncle Lan stole my bed!" His huffing is the second cutest thing about him, I still haven't decided which is the first.

"Well champ you had it coming, you basically invited the bed pest in your bed, what else do ya expect?"

He whined at my raised eyebrows and jumped on me pleading me to eradicate the said pest.

"Love, uncle Lan is thrice my size I could never get him out of your bed."

His chin wobbles a little, his voice so small, "But mommy I want sleep.."

I hug him closer to my chest, kiss the top of his head and tell him to just sleep right here. That was all he needed, I little affirmation and he's out like light. After a few minutes of rocking him back and forth on my lap, I lay him down in a more comfortable position. Did I already mention moments I live for, well this is one of them too, and I can't decide which one do I live for more, to wake up to his face or to just look at this angelic face when he is asleep? That's a question I never knew the answer to even when it was his father.

But what I do know is it's moments like this I hate that man who gave me the best gift of my life, my son, because I can't decide whether to forget him or forgive him. And rest assured he cares about neither, it will be for my own sanity.

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"Why am I getting the silent treatment?"

I huffed a little laugh seeing the little one sided banter going on. Who knew five year olds could hold grudges? Well I did obviously, as the five year old in question happens to be my mini-me, and I can hold grudges like no one else.

"Oh come on please at least tell me why?" Landon pleaded for the hundredth time, but Brian sat still like a stone angle with a heart full of mischief. If there was enough space to house a stage in my kitchen, Lan would have installed one and continued to plead with Shakespearean  flair and tragedy. It is hilarious to see a grown up 28-yr old man begging a little kid to just look at him. Landon's frustration is like honey to my ear's, I love it. It's not that I am a cruel person, (maybe) but I can't resist seeing him trouble.

"Mommy, I want the Nutella, please!"

"I'll get you some!"

"Mommy.. I want the nutella, pwease!"

Lan deflates in his seat again; at this point I feel a little bad for this oaf.

I step into the good mommy shoes and step out of the crack head friend shoes for minute.

"Bee, look at me" Brian looks up instantly.

"Love, uncle Lan didn't mean to hijack your bed, don't be mad at him, look at the poor guys' face he looks so sad. I am pretty sure he feels sorry for kicking you out of your bed, don't you Landon?"

"When..? Oh!"

Realization dawns on his face like the curtains cascade after the actors take a bow in a Broadway show.  He begins his pleadings again, with a new burst of energy driver by the enlightenment of his mistake. 

THE DRAMA!

It ends up working. Within 15 minutes of endless bribes and promises the two are back to being the best buds. By the time I am ready to leave for work, they have united to bully me into letting Brian take off from Pre-school. 

"Not happening." I reply plainly. 

"But mommy..."

"Alexis Brian Austin" 

"Shit kiddo, she's doing the full name thing again."

"Darn it! I have to go to school now!" Brian pouts and goes to get his stuff together for school.

Mid way he turns around, kneels and throws his hands down.

"Mommy dearest don't be so difficult!"

I can't help but roll my eyes. My sweet little angel from 3AM has turned into a Drama king. 

"Lan you need to stop teaching my son stuff like this, and you little master, are going to school, even if I have to drag you by your ears."  The two of them mutter something in unison and skitter away when I raise my eye brows at their antics. 

And that was a normal week-day morning at the Austin's. My brother and son acting the same age and Me having to parent two children instead of one. 

Finally by the time we reach his school, Brian is pumped with energy to meet his new friend, Landon and his antics not forgotten but just paused until evening. On my way to work, a nagging emptiness catches up to me. Like an addict I have been hooked on my kid, family and work for so long that even moments of silence seems like a forewarning to Chaos and heartbreak. 

A feeling of my past catching up has been exhausting me, that even running away doesn't seem possible anymore. 

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What is Heather Running away from?

Is her past around the corner or right behind her, waiting for her to turn and notice it?