The Four Interchanging Lives of Regulus Black (Harry Potter Fanfic)

Disappearing Shadow

Sirius waited, swallowing, hoping the shadow would open the door, imagining, even dreaming that it happened, and for a brief moment, he thought Regulus really did enter the train compartment and join his friends, only—

The shadow disappeared, and strangely enough, there came a point as Sirius stood there, staring, that he wondered whether the shadow at the door ever was there, that he'd just imagined it in his hopes of making amends with his younger brother, of attempting to change the past.

"Sirius, sit," Remus finally said, tugging at the back of Sirius' clothes, resulting in Sirius sitting down next to his friend, who he would later on learn was cursed to be a werewolf. He swallowed.

"He'll come around," James said.

"Will he?" Sirius said. He took a deep breath, then admitted to the friends he felt he could trust with his life, minus the one Peter the rat Pettigrew. "I think my younger brother is actually afraid of me, James."

"Nonsense," James said.

"I've mother's temper. I've got to admit that," Sirius said, taking a deep breath. "And I think Regulus isn't exactly fond of loud noises, so when Mother and I get into it..."

"You're overthinking things," Remus said.

"I agree with Remus," James said, sighing. "Mum says Regulus is just shy, but if he's afraid of anyone, isn't it me?"

"What?" Sirius' head shot up, then he shook his head. "You? Not you, James? You're wonderfully warm and welcoming. When we first met..."

"But Regulus doesn't know that, Sirius," James said, smiling. "Mum said something about everyone seeing loads of you when we were younger but little of Regulus."

"He's not exactly one to stand out," Sirius said, frowning. "They simply didn't see him because he is so quiet, so..." He took a deep breath, leaning back and covering his eyes. "So un-Black like, whereas me, the one who doesn't want to be a Black, is Black like."

"That," Remus said, frowning. "Is confusing."

"You'd understand if you knew more about the Black family," Peter said, resulting in a flinch from Sirius, who looked over at the friend who would, once they graduate, betray them all by selling James and James' wife Lily out to Voldemort. Sirius took a deep breath, looking out the window, remembering that a war raged outside and that the brief lull came at a price. "They're—well, you've seen how scary Sirius can be."

"Sirius is not a monster," Remus said.

"Yes, yes I am," Sirius said, referring to his past self that would call his younger brother a snake in the grass simply because he was sorted into Slytherin long before Regulus ever became a Death Eater.

"You're in a mood, Sirius, so shall we go and look for Regulus?"

Sirius perked up. "Will you?"

"Why not?" James said. "I think you're lucky to have a younger sibling to look out for."

"Kind of have a tendency to take that for granted," Sirius said, then looked at Peter and Remus. "Are you also coming?"

"No," Peter said, though Sirius didn't want him along.

Remus swallowed. "I don't know."

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked.

"Well, I don't want to scare him. Didn't James say your brother's shy?"

"Did he?" Sirius tilted his head. "Yes. Yes, I think he did."

"I really don't want to scare him, so maybe introduce him to me slowly?"

"I..." Sirius wanted to protest but then remembered Remus was afflicted, and that affliction of being a werewolf, in turn, made him think of himself as a werewolf. "I think, though, he'd like you." This wasn't a lie, given Regulus seemed less put off by Remus behavior-wise, never putting up with any of the pranks Sirius' friend group, something Remus tended to stray away from. "Don't know what Regulus would think, though, if he knew Remus was a werewolf."

He followed after James, slowly going from one end of the train to the next, trying to find Regulus, but strangely enough, they didn't find Sirius' younger brother, even after going back the way they came, searching again from one end to another.

Sirius frowned. "This isn't right."

"What?" James asked. "What's the matter?"

"Oh, the other day, I was looking for Regulus. I looked for him top to bottom and couldn't find him anywhere in Grimmauld Place, although I do have to admit I didn't look in father's study as I didn't know he'd like to hide there. But then we found him, in a place I looked, as if he'd been there the entire time."

"You're just stressed," James said. "Perhaps you'll catch sight of him before the first years embark across the lake, and maybe you can send him some words of encouragement?"

"Maybe," Sirius said, letting out a sigh. "I really don't want to leave things between Regulus and me as they are, regardless of which house he gets sorted into. They returned, finding Peter munching on snacks from the trolly, informing them they'd missed out while Remus read a book. "You know, Regulus likes books too, Remus."

"What?"

"If you want a way to get my younger brother to warm up to you, that might be the way."

"You're acting like he's going to be sorted into Gryffindor rather than Slytherin," Peter said, pouting.

"Who says he won't be sorted into the same house?" James said.

Peter sighed, rolling his eyes. "Because everyone knows Sirius was an exception to a rule, an anomaly because Sirius is an anomaly." Peter paused as the other three looked at him. "Hey. I didn't say that was a bad thing, did I?"

Sirius sat down, waiting, the sun going down outside of the train, nervously waiting. When the train stopped, he left behind his friends, hurrying out, looking to see if he could catch sight of Regulus among the first years, and yet—

"I don't see him," Sirius muttered, standing on his tiptoes as some of the older students were taller than him, a second year.

Remus grabbed his arm. "Come on. We can't miss the carriages."

Sirius felt his heart sink, going and sitting on the seat next to James this time, looking at the road passing by. "Is Regulus going to be saved this time around?"

With all the other students, he headed to the great hall, waiting for the first years to be sorted, but—

Sirius sat up straight the moment Regulus name was called, watching as his younger brother walked forward, nervously, sitting on the stool waiting for the hat to go down, but the moment it did—

"Gryffindor!"

Sirius' eyes blinked, finding himself in disbelief.