Benrius one-shots JWCC

• Please don't go •

- Please don't go -

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NOW PLAYING: Breezeblocks by alt-J

♫  My love, my love, love, love
Please don't go, I love you so, my lovely
Please don't go, please don't go
I love you so, I love you so
Please don't go, please don't go
I love you so, I love you so
Please break my heart
Please don't go, please don't go
I love you so, I love you so
Please don't go, please don't go
I love you so, I love you so
Please break my heart.  ♫

TRIGGER WARNING: Blood

THE STRONG wind blew passed the group making them stumble over their feet every now and then. Their rosy cheeks were extremely prominent as the six all walked around the deserted forest looking for those berries Ben was talking about. Darius still couldn't fathom the thought that Ben is with them right now, that he's alive and walking right beside him. The amount of sleepless nights due to the overwhelming nightmares that he had endured was
all for nothing.

For the passed few months he struggled with sleeping as it seemed like every time he closed his eyes only one picture formed in his mind. Ben holding onto his hand for dear life as Darius used all his strength to pull the boy up but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't. And then he fell into the pit of darkness. The same scene replayed over and over again in his head every time he
closed his eyes.

Even though he now knows Ben is safe and not dead like he originally thought, he still can't get that image out of his head. Ben came back to them a month or two ago now and his sleeping hasn't seemed to have gotten any better from what it was before. He knows Ben is okay so why can't he get that image of the terrified boys face out of his mind every night? He's okay. Ben is okay. Darius know's that. So why is it so difficult?

Last night he only got two hours of sleep and those two hours was just the replaying of that horrible night. Why didn't he try harder? Why didn't he do better? Another thing that's he's started to do is randomly space out even when somebody is talking to him. No matter how hard he tried he just can't find the motivation to talk to anyone like he used to.

He thought after finding Ben safe and sound he would go back to his normal self but yet he still can't help but feel guilty for what happened to him. He can't help thinking it was all his fault Ben had to go though all that trauma he had to bypass all by himself. If only he was stronger, better. Then maybe, just maybe he could have prevented Ben from falling off the monorail.

Since that night there hasn't been a single day where he hasn't blamed himself for what happened to the poor older boy. Even with everyone, even Ben himself telling him nothing was his fault Darius just can't seem to believe them. No matter what anyone tells him he will always believe it was his fault for what happened. He could have tried better is what he often repeated to himself in the middle
of the night.

Ben has changed too. He's not that clean freak we knew before all of this happened. He's different but not so much in a bad way. He's still that caring, loving boy everyone knew but yet he was still somewhat different. Darius couldn't pinpoint what it so different about the boy but he knew something has definitely changed about him.