Red vs Blue : Mirage

Tucker Knows Best

Grif: PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON! What's the one thing I told you? Don't embarrass the family!

Simmons: I don't think she's embarrassing -whoa, why is she doing splits?

Sarge: Huh, is this that Facebook thing I keep hearing about?

Simmons: Does this thing take dollar bills?

Grif: Come on, that's my sister! And you're looking at her naked!

Simmons: So? She's not our sister.

Grif: Stop looking at her!

Simmons: Why does Donut get to look?

Donut: Hey, why does the Blue base get so much more natural light than ours? It gives the interior a much more airy and open feeling.

Grif: That's why Donut gets to look.

Sarge: Ohhh, look, she's puttin' her armor back on. Uh, I mean, oh look, she is putting her armor back on. Good work Soldier!

Grif: Don't patronize me.

Simmons: It looks like the Blues are having some kind of meeting.

Sarge: What? I knew it. They're coming to attack our base. Dirty backstabbers.

Donut: I thought the Blues were supposed to attack us?

Sarge: Dirty frontstabbers! Simmons, what're they saying?

Simmons: I have no idea. I can't find the volume on this monitor. And without any sound it just looks like a bunch of helmets bobbing up and down.

Sarge: Is that how they talk? They look ridiculous.

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Above ground, the blues, with the exception of Rayner, gather around.

Church: Alright, Rayner said that command called and told us to attack the Red base right away. I don't know why but, I guess we're gonna do it.

Tucker: Attack? Shouldn't we call soldiers or the military for something like that?

Church: And for some reason he thinks it's a good idea for some of us to go through the caves.

Tex: Why?

Church: I don't fucking know, who cares? This Rayner we're talking about. It's probably part of some strategy of his or something. So, me and Tex and Tucker are gonna go right up the middle.

Tucker: What about my kid? He can't go in to battle!

Church: Doc, Sister, and Junior, you guys go get lost in the caves.

Tucker: Oh.

Church: We'll find you after the battle's over. Unless we die, in which case we won't find you, and you're gonna have to find us. And if that happens I want to be buried as far away as possible from these two. And don't let Rayner give me a eulogy. Just burye and be done with it.

Tucker: Yeah, and I wanna be stuffed and put on a couch with a cooler full o' beer, a bag full of cheese puffs, non-stop reruns of Baywatch and- ah, you know what, it's all in my will.

Caboose: What about me? Can I get lost too?

Tex: No Caboose, I need you to stay here with Rayner and watch Sheila.

Church: Yeah, if the transfer gets interrupted we might lose her altogether.

Caboose: Oh, that would be bad.