Forever His

Chapter 5 : Regret

'Master?' I asked lowly not sure if I could talk.

'Yes, pet?' Dimitri answered while driving his Mercedes.

'Can we take off the collar when we're in the shopping mall?'

'Why?' he asked after glancing at me once.

'Well... Because... I-I don't fell comfortable with... other watching me... When I h-have a c-collar...' I answered while playing with my fingers. I hope he couldn't see what I was thinking.

'Does these people know you personally?'

'No, but...'

'Then why care about it?'

'B-but I...'

'No. The answer is no.' he snapped telling me that this conversation was over.

I lowered my head in defeat, I would have to find another way to escape. Maybe his phone? But how could I take it without him noticing? Also, the collar was locked by a fingerprint... I checked it when I was pretending to arrange my clothes earlier. I sighted, I would never be able to escape...

When I looked at the window, I saw that we were already parked. How did he do that without me noticing it?

'Look at me pet.'

I hesitantly did what he said. I was afraid of what he would do or say after our conversation. He didn't say anything, he was just looking at me blankly. I started to tremble, did he discovered what I was thinking? No, no that's impossible, right? Then he lifted my head with his hand, even with my head lifted I refused to look at him in the eyes and I heard him sight.

'In the eyes Aden...'

My eyes immediately looked at his. He never used my name, not even when I was locked in the room for a year. He always called me pet, so when he did call my name for the first time, tears came up. I didn't know why I was crying because of joy? Of sadness? I didn't know, I'm so confused right now. A year ago, he never treated me like he was now, why this gentleness? He was making me confused, I knew I had to hate him... yet... I... I...

'Don't cry... Please don't. Tell me what's on your mind p-Aden.' said the man with a sad look always holding my face up with his thumb erasing my tears.

'...'

'Please?' begged Dimitri.

I continued to look at him though my tears. He never begged, never yet he was doing it now to know why I was crying? Or was it about the collar earlier? Should I tell him? Was he honest or was he only pretending to care about me in order to win my trust?

'You won't talk?'

'...'

'Fine.' he said and let go of my head, but his second hand came around my neck.

I looked at him shocked and panicked. Was he trying to strangle me because I was disobeying him? I closed my eyes and waited for it. I waited and waited, but I felt nothing. Just the fact that my neck felt less heavy... Did he really? I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw, my collar in his hand. Then I looked at him and back to the collar.

'I will let you without collar during the day and I suppose you wanted it off to escape. So, if you really want to then do it.' he said without looking at me and was getting out of the car.

Was he serious? Would he really let me escape when he won't be watching me?

My car door opened and Dimitri unlocked my seatbelt and waited for me to get out. When I did, he closed the door and he started to walk first. I could escape now, no I should already be running he wasn't watching. So I did run in the opposite way and one time I looked back at my captor. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. He was watching me yes, but was he crying?

***

It was now nigh time and I was walking not really knowing where I was. It seemed that I was in a different city than the one that I lived before he took me back. I have nowhere to go or sleep and I was hungry. I sighted maybe I should have planned some more before escaping... No! What was I thinking? If I had waited maybe I wouldn't have a chance like today...

But Dimitri seemed very sad and defeated when I ran away... Then why did he let me go, he should just have to let the collar on and ignore my feelings like he did a year ago? What really happened a year ago?

***

When I woke up, I had a blindfold on and was tied to something. I tried to remember what happening before I got there... but nothing... The only thing I remember was my name... Aden... I tried to remember anything else, anything, but only Aden came up to my mind.

After a while, someone took off my blindfold and I saw this man...

'Hey are you okay?' said the man.

I shook my head trembling near tears because he had this creepy smile on his face.

'Don't worry, you'll be soon enough!' he said while licking his lips.

And he started to take off my clothes roughly. I tried to resist and kick him, but since I was tied I couldn't do anything.

'P-PLEASE STOP!! S-SOMEONE H-HELP ME!! PL-PLEASE!'

The last thing I heard was him laughing and I think I fainted again. When I woke up again I was in a white room without windows just a door. I looked around searching for the scary man that I think raped me... But I found Dimitri instead. During this hole year, he kept me in the room tied to the wall. He rarely talked to me and just gave me food. After a few month, I don't know how, but we became closer. Even thought he never talked to me and I think he was the one that chained me to the wall, I continued to talk to him. One day I asked why I was there and for the first time he answered. He said that he took me away from the black market. And then he started to do things to me and always called me pet. Until a day where he was outside of the house, a succeeded to convince a maid to help me escape.

***

When I think about it again, something seemed off. However, I didn't know what. Why did Dimitri do those things to me? He said he saved me from the black market, but how did I end there? And if he said that he saved me why did he start to 'rape' me?

These are the same unanswered questions haunting me for more than a year now. If only I could know the truth, maybe then I would discover who I really was. Somehow I had a feeling that the answers were under my nose until few hours ago. Why did I have to relate everything to Dimitri? Why everything was leading me to him, why am I so confused in my emotions like when we had sex yesterday. Why did it fell right and not disgusting like the ugly smiling man that raped me? Why did I felt so guilty when I left him behind, even more, when I saw him cry?

Why?

Maybe if I get back to Dimitri, I would have some answers?

What should I do?

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