Forever His

Chapter 7 : How can you still love me after what I did?

It has been a week since I came back here and during all this time, Dimitri didn't acknowledge me. The rare time when I would saw him was when he was eating or when we saw each other in the hallway. I tried many times to engage a conversation, but he was only answering me in monosyllables.

More time passed, more I felt guilty about all this. Because I read all the document Dimitri gave me. Everything he did to me... It was me that wrote it down, he just did what I wanted and I was blaming him! I made him suffer by leaving him two times and now a third. I should apologize and get out of his sight, like that he could forget about me and return to his old self. Yeah, that was a great idea.

I got out of my room and went toward his office. I was going to knock at the door when a maid stopped me.

'Sir Aden, Master Dimitri is occupied right now and don't want anyone to disturb him.' she said to me not letting go of my hand.

'It won't be long. I just need to tell him something, it's important.'

'Master insisted that he didn't want to be disturbed. Please come back another time.'

'Yes, I heard. Now let go of my hand NOW. I also already said I had to talk to him about an important matter, so please step aside.' I said angrily to the maid who let go of my hand and got away quickly.

I sighed in annoyance and knocked at the door.

Silence

I knocked again, but harder this time.

Silence

'I'm coming in.' I said loud enough to be heard on the other side.

Without waiting for an answer, I opened the door and went in. When I looked up, I saw Dimitri laying on a couch with bottles of alcohol surrounding him.

'OH MY GOD! Dimitri what the hell are you doing?!?' I shouted in panic while running to his side.

'I'm drinking pet. You want some?' he slightly slurred.

'No, I don't want it. How much did you drink this past few day?!?' I asked another question always panicked.

'I have been drinking all week.'

'Why?'

'You sure you don't want to join me?' he said not answering to my question.

'No thanks. Why Dimitri? Why are you drinking so much?' I asked in a gentle tone even thought I already knew the answer.

'I-I failed... I didn't see what you really needed... That you wanted me to stop... I failed as your dom... I failed...' he continued to say lowly while closing his eyes and put an arm on it.

'What are you talking about? How could you know about that when I did everything to hide it from you? Of course, it wasn't your fault! I...'

'I WAS YOUR DOM!  IT WAS MY RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF YOU AND... and I failed... I hurt you... I hurt you.' he loudly growled at me while sitting up on the couch, glaring me for a few second and immediately looked away.

'Yes, you were and I also remember you asking me more than a few time if I was okay. It was my fault... My fault that I hide it from you, my fault by not trusting you. I'm so sorry about what happened. I'm so sorry for hurting you, for making you feel this terrible... I'm sorry...'

He only sighed and looked at me in the eyes. I saw so many emotions that were usually hidden behind his mask. I saw sadness, guilt, anger and... and love. He really did love me, I was only realizing it now. I was so selfish, so selfish that I couldn't see past his mask.

'I'm sorry... I know that I'm the cause of your pain, so... so I'll go live somewhere else... That way... That way...' I started sobbing while talking.

'Y-You really want to leave?' he asked weakly while hesitantly taking me in his arm.

'If it w-would make... make f-feel b-better... I'll leave even... even...' I just started to cry in his chest.

'Breath Aden... Breath slowly in... and out.' he said softly when he realized that I wasn't breathing.

'I-I...'

'What is it?' he asked gently again. I didn't know how, but it seemed he was now sober and calm.

'N-nothing... I-I don't want to be selfish... again.'

'Selfish? you?' he said in disbelief and chuckled while slowly rub my back.

I nodded. Yes, I couldn't ask THAT to him when I already rejected him twice. While reading the contract, a part of my memory came back to me. I remembered Dimitri and I watching horror movies and how scarred I was always jumping and shrieking while cuddling into him while he was there laughing slightly. It seemed that I forgot about the normal and loving moments I had with him and only the sex scenes remained. Why? I didn't know...

'I... I remembered...'

'You remembered what?'

'Some of my lost memory... I remember now... I... I love you, Dimitri.'

He stopped moving completely and just tensed. I didn't look at him, not wanting to see his face, not wanting to see his rejection... Because even thought he was said that he loved me, I'm not so sure now after I made him suffer again by leaving him at the parking lot...

'I-I'll understand if... If you don't love me anymore... But I just w-wanted to tell you so b-before I leave... I'm...' I started to say but was cut off by him kissing me passionately.

I moaned and I let him invade my mouth. It wasn't a forced or rushed kiss, but a slow loving one. When he let broke the kiss, I started to cry again.

'Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?' he asked while rubbing slowly my back and I was still crying on his chest.

'N-No, I'm happy... Very happy! I just don't k-know how... How you c-can still love me... A-after all I-I did to you... I'm s-so sorry! Sorry... sorry... sorry master...' I sobbed while trying to talk.

When I calmed down and finally looked at his face because he didn't say anything, I saw a thousand dollar worth smile. I never actually saw him smile like this...

'Why are you so happy?' I asked lowly because my throat hurt of all the crying.

'Because you said master willingly for the first time since you came back, but it's not only because of that... It's also because you're all mine again and I'm also yours.' he said with so much happiness in his voice while hugging me. 'I love you too, Aden. Will you become my boyfriend again?' he continued and this time, it was my turn to kiss him.

'Yes...' I managed to say out of breath.