Don't Let Me Go (Student X Teacher)

Chapter Sixteen

This is alll Aiden's POV. Time to see how his life is :)

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Time to wake up I thought to myself. The pain, the sorrow all comes again for another painful day. All I need to do is wake up, survive and hopefully, the day will end soon. I look forward to my night more than the whole day. Somehow, my life has changed and it's not for the best. It's the worst thing... ever.

Mum came into the room, holding a tray of breakfast.

"What the hell mum?" I asked, as she put the tray besides me. I looked at it cautiously, wondering what to do. She never brought me food to my room... and I never thought she would. She just wasn't that type of mother.

"You're going to grow old one day, going to uni and I'll never get the chance of treating you like this." She said, sighing as she flopped onto bed besides me. She never thought like this.

"Yeah, but you never done this before. Why did you wake up, and think like this?" I asked.

"Um, it's just... I don't know. Something clicked into me last night. After loosing your brother about 5 years, he left so many things unsaid and... there was so much I wanted to do with him. I'm sure you feel the same."

I nodded. No one knew, I never let my feelings go but my brother died over 5 years from suicide. He hanged himself in front of my eyes. I was twelve when it happened, but each little memory sticks out in my brain.

I don't know what lead him to it, but it must have been something - and the thing I feared was if it was my fault. We were never close, and we actually always argued. The night before he died, I had told him to go and die like an attention seeker he was. I didn't know it'd actually happen, and I take back.

His name was Gary, and he was around 2 years older than me. I miss him everyday, but somewhere along the lines I've given up the sadness that comes to me everyday I wake up. People die, and move on. They're in a better place now. They'd probably prefer heaven then down here, so why are we crying?

True, isn't it? It changed my thinking. It made me think, why cry? He's probably eating grapes, enjoying life in this... palace or garden or whatever heaven looked like.

"Anyway... so, I've decided to be the best mum in the world!" She continued, breaking me off my thoughts. I totally forgot she was actually sitting here.

"Mum, it's not necessary."

"Damn right it is!" She said, glaring at me.

I gulped. "Gary went, and left us. Doesn't mean I will."

"Can't trust you," she admitted.

"What the hell mum. Stop loosing yourself. It's been 5 years. Move on. He's happy now."

"He's bloody dead."

"So?" It was like I've had this conversation million times. "I'll tell you this again, he's up there happy. He would prefer where he was to what his life was. Depressed."

Mum's eyes were all teary eyed again. She threw her hand through her hair. "Where did I fail, Aiden? Where?" She asked, desperate.

"Nowhere mum, it wasn't your fault."

"How can I not realise he was depressed? How.. can I not?"

"He was good at hiding things," I said to her.

"I'm his mum, Aide. I'm supposed to know. I'm a mum, I know my kids inside out. So how can I not see this coming?"

"I don't know mum. But it's time to stop blaming yourself. You really can't live with the guilt."