Waiting for Hope

Bloodstream

*trigger warning*
This chapter contains scenes involving emotional drinking and intoxication. For a less graphic summary of what happens, you can read "Human" in the first book, Guarded Hope. To be honest, I'm not sure this chapter is a true trigger, but better to be safe than sorry.

Bloodstream - ed sheerhan

Will found Ethan standing near the shore on the bonfire beach, staring out at the water with an absent glare in his eyes.

Ethan was in an unconscious daze and barely registered Will's voice as he called his name over and over. He was lost in thoughts and regrets.

Regrets for not trying to speak to Hope sooner. Regrets for inviting her to that bonfire the year before. Regrets for pinning after her for the last four years, with nothing to show for it.

Maybe if he had just tried harder to be interested in someone else this terrible need to be with Hope would have eased up by now. Maybe if he had never mentioned anything to Will, who put all kinds of ideas in his head about Hope's unrequited and probably non-existant feelings for him, he wouldn't feel so miserable now. Maybe if he had never seen her in the first place...

Ethan nearly jumped when Will finally approached him and put a hand on his shoulder, not having heard him walking up.

"Hey man, what are you doing here? I thought you'd be with Hope by now talking about...whoa, what's wrong?" Will noticed the absent look in Ethan's eyes.

"She didn't come. No one from her family is here." Ethan's voice was numb, void of any emotion.

"That's... Wow, sorry man, that's tough. Maybe they're coming up a different weekend this year." Will suggested.

"Nah, my mom said they never made a reservation. It's been, like 12 years or something, then all the sudden, this year, nothing. I don't get it, but it's over."

Will stood next to Ethan quietly for a while. He said nothing, just let Ethan be. The silence was comforting and disturbing, all at the same time. Finally, Ethan couldn't take it anymore.

"This is where I talked to her, the only place I talked to her. First when I invited her to that stupid bonfire. And then for a few minutes at that stupid bonfire. I just wandered down here after talking to my mom and finding out she wasn't coming. I didn't even realize where I was going until I was here."

"Well, there's another stupid bonfire tonight. Do you want to hang around for it? It might take your mind off of things."

Ethan shook his head vigorously. "I don't want to ever go to another bonfire again. It's like they bring nothing but trouble for me. I think I'm gonna go hang out at north beach tonight, get away from here for once."

"Well, after I get the bonfire going, I'll come keep you company." Will elbowed Ethan in the ribs.

"If you want, it doesn't matter. I'm probably just gonna get drunk and forget about everything." Ethan just shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at the lapping water.

"Hey, sounds good to me! I'm in. I'll see you after a while." Will took off to get things prepped for the bonfire he was hosting that night.

Ethan stayed for a few more minutes, but then he felt like he needed to get out of there so he took off in his truck.

It wasn't too hard to pick up a case of beer. He had done it before, you just had to go to the right store. There was a little gas station with a convenience store in the next small town. The old guy that ran it never carded anyone so a lot of the high school kids would pick up their supplies from him.