Victim of Circumstance | UNDER RIGOROUS EDITING

Chapter 12 - Love & Hate

||Pius||

Life is such an odd cycle. People fall in love, they copulate, conceive babies, those babies grow old, they too become parents and the cycle repeats itself again. Those babies use what they were told, their upbringing to be specific to further groom their kids.

I'm not complaining though. I love the process, the copulating part even better. But in all that coital-bliss should you know, bearing kids means responsibility. Why go have kids if you can't support them? And don't tell me it's a mistake, because there are no such mistakes. You don't mistakenly forget to use a condom. Before everything else, you already know that having sex without a condom will automatically lead to a baby or other unmentionables.

I'm not saying that, my dad... my parents, were irresponsible when they had us or anything. No. My mom even used to say that we-me and Xavier-were their greatest gift. And I know, they didn't regret having us then, but after my mom's demise, the way my dad shut down made me start thinking otherwise. He was so selfish. He is selfish. He didn't think about us, he was so consumed in his own grief that he even stop seeing us. As if he was the only one who lost someone he loved. What did he think about us? About Xavier? He was only flippen six. He closed us out, until we started harboring certain feelings and emotions towards him. Me, a real sense of shame and hatred and Xavier, inconceivable fear.

The buzzing of my phone in my pockets brings me back to reality.

I pull out the phone from my pockets as I stop the car at the traffic lights.

Xander's name flashes on the phone.

I answer the phone and press it to my ear, wedging it between the ear and the shoulder.

"What?" I snap. I told him I'll call him already. What does he want from me again?

"Please tell me you are close?" Xander breathes heavily from the other side. That makes me frown, taking a left turn as soon as the light turns green.

"Yeah, I'll be there in five. Why-"

"Five? Oh, shit. God. Pius-"

"Xander what the hell is happening? What happened to my dad? Why the hell are you in a panicking?"

"No, no, no. Stop asking questions and get yourself here in two minutes or something." He sighs frustratedly. "He is not going to make it. God," he says the last part more to himself than me.

"Who is not going to make it?" I ask. My hearts gaining momentum. I have a bad feeling about this. I'm not liking these feeling that's starting to brew from the deepest depths of my stomach, churning into random twisted, unbearable butterflies.

"He... he... God, no." I hear sounds on the other side, but I can't make out what the hell is happening. Xander's behavior is killing me. I can't contain these frustration. God.

"Fuck, Xander. SNAP OUT OF IT NOW! What the fuck is happening? Who will not make it?" I yell into the phone.

Xander starts sniffing. Is he crying? "I... I..." he trails off.

I sigh and swallow the big lump stuck into my throat. I silently start counting until ten, to calm myself. "Please." I breathe.

He is quiet. Then he says, "I didn't want to tell you like this."

"You didn't want to tell me what like this?"

"Uhhmm... I..." he swallows and sighs. "It's Xavier, Pius. He had an argument with your dad or something, which ultimately lead to your father pushing him down the stairs." Oh, no. Not my brother. I groan and step on the gas. Xander continues, "I don't know how he was able to call me, but he called me because you weren't picking up apparently." That was Xavier? I saw the call but I just ignored it because it was from the landline. He whimpers, "I called your grandparents to come calm your father down, and... and..."