la vie en rose (min yoongi)

Chapter 25

"You smell good."

The corners of my lips stretched to a small smile as I snuggled to Yoongi's side even more. I continued to keep my eyes closed, afraid of him finding out that I cried. His arm was wrapped around me, aiding me to adjust on the bed to move closer to him.

"I'm using your shampoo and your clothes. Are you secretly complimenting yourself?" I mocked

Yoongi hit my forehead upwards playfully, leaving me with no choice but to glare at him in return.

"Can you just thank me for the compliments and not mock me in return? I'm trying my best here." he said

I chuckled, leaving a kiss below his jaw. He was caught off-guard by my sudden action as I continued to lay my head on him. He sighed deeply, lazily drawing circles on my upper arm.

Lazy cuddle sessions with Yoongi had always been my favorite. Although spending time with him in any form made me ecstatic enough, I was always fond of the heat shared between us whenever we had our arms around each other; however, I did not feel as gleeful as before. With Namjoon's words ringing in my head from the last phone call, I grew mortified with the events yet to unfold.

"You're really quiet. Are you asleep?" Yoongi asked, gazing down at me

With half-lidded eyes, I pretended that I was drowsy and childishly pouted while tightening my embrace around his waist. Yoongi groaned in annoyance, muttering that I became clingy. My heart pounded on my chest, looking up at Yoongi who had his eyes delicately closed. A small smile tugged on my lips, turning my gaze away from him.

"I love you, Yoongi." I whispered

As soon as those words escaped my mouth, a mixture of guilt and relief swarmed in my chest. I was hoping that he would not hear it; but it was nice that I finally told him that I loved him.

He stopped caressing my arm but I dared not look up at him. My bottom lip quivered, feeling my eyes swell with tears once more. I loosened my hug around him; preparing myself for the disheartening situation.

The heat of his embrace—which I was always fond of—was not bound to last long anyway.

I sighed, blinking my tears away. The thought of Yoongi and I going in separate ways broke my heart into tiny pieces and so, I resumed on hugging him tightly.

"I love you." I repeated; but this time, I sounded desperate for him to know how much I do

A sigh escaped his lips, kissing the top of my head. Leaving me startled, Yoongi proceeded to lift my chin up with his other hand; our gazes finally meeting.

I felt a tug on my heartstrings as he looked at me intently with a glint of satisfaction present in his eyes. My melancholic gaze softened; reciprocating the way he looked at me. In a matter of seconds, Yoongi captured my lips with his; making me close my eyes and return it.

My chest clenched in pain because I knew I was only hurting him in return. I grew fond of the kiss as it continued to last longer, drowning in his arms as the kiss turned needy. The butterflies in my stomach had me insane with the guilt consuming me alive as well.

Staying intoxicated, no matter how painful the circumstances were, I just thought of savoring the moments I was with him due to the fact that I could lose him anytime. Deepening the kiss second by second, I silently hoped that the moment would not end. I silently hoped that we would miraculously turn into just normal teenagers in a normal vacation. I silently hoped that the phone call was just a nightmare and nothing but fiction. I silently hoped that we were not children of rich businessmen and businesswomen; who were limited from their rights to love who they want to love.

I silently hoped that through all these obstacles; we would still manage to stay together.

Cutting the kiss and gasping for air, Yoongi looked me in the eye before pecking my lips again.

"I love you too."

The world stopped; my breath coming to a halt with my ears perking up at what Yoongi just said. His eyes stared at me with sincerity and love; the look of aghast wavering my face. From that very moment, I realized that no matter how I hope and wish on every star my eyes land on, we would still be going our separate ways.

Tears brimmed my eyes, rolling down to my chin; biting my quivering lip. I closed my eyes momentarily; unable to meet Yoongi's gaze due to the shame I felt on myself.

"D-Don't say it b-back." I stuttered

Moving away from him, I sat up on the bed; wiping my tears away. Yoongi quickly sat up as well, grabbing my shoulder and forcing me to look at him. I kept my head down as my insides churned in pain.

"[Y/N], why the hell are you crying?"

I sniffled, feeling the pain eat me whole. It occurred to me that it was the moment to tell him.

It was the moment to hurt him— hurt the both us.

"Yoongi, you can't love me— you shouldn't love me. This is forbidden." I croaked, finally looking up at him

Put in a state of confusion, he did not move an inch and continued to gaze at me with begging eyes. I did not have the guts to continue and look up at him, the feeling of guilt consuming my heart.

Why am I bound to hurt the person I love?

I realized how selfish I was, entering Yoongi's life and leaving him with a broken heart.

"[Y/N], you said it yourself; we're a different story. We're not the same as our parents, right? It doesn't matter if they're competitors—"

"It's not that, Yoongi." I cut him off

The air grew thick as time grew slow. It was as if, I could hear the ticking of the clock, leaving me to wallow in how helpless I was. Mustering all the courage to look up at Yoongi, I waited for my sniffling to tone down. He looked at me, clearly bemused and worried in what I was about to say. My eyelids slowly dawned over half of my eyes as my gaze softened. With crooked eyebrows and eyes begging for forgiveness, I told him what I needed to tell him.

Namjoon was right anyway. I needed to tell him as soon as possible so that I could not prolong the pain.

I sighed, sucking in a deep breath with closed eyes. I thought I could not do it, contemplating a little; but I had no choice.

I had to do it.

I was slowly feeling weak under his gaze as I slowly and shamefully stared back at him.

"I'm engaged."