This is the story of how I survived a suicide attempt.... This story is untold, not one soul knows about this.
This happened 5 months ago. I was just done It wasn't something someone did, it was how I was feeling for a long time. So I planned it all out. After school I was going to do my home work. Then eat dinner. I didn't talk at dinner I just sat there all quiet so I was sent to my room. That was when I took a few pills. I asked to talk to my mom about how I've been feeling. And all she said was she'll call my therapist. I was looking for my mom and I got handed off like an old toy. I went to the store with my mom and her boy friend and it was normal. I felt good. We went home and the pills weren't working yet. So I wrote my good bye letter. Told them how I didn't want to live anymore. I said I was hurting in a way I couldn't explain. Said I felt like I was drowning in a sea of my feeling and when I tried to gasp for air a wave hit me. Pulling me under. I was getting angry at my mom and at my family. Everything they were "joking" about hurt. Some of that shit felt real. The pills still didn't work so I took more. Crying I did my hair nice and put on a dress. I laid down and closed my eyes. I counted every breath like it was my last one until I fell asleep. The next morning I woke up... I looked around and cried. I cried harder than I ever cried before. I was so disappointed. I wasn't suppose to wake up. I didn't want to wake up.
To this day I am still suicidal. It will never go away. Its why I am in therapy. Its why I have scars from when I painted with silver and it came out red.
To this day I am still angry and hurt from what my family said.
To this day I still hate myself I still have thought of dying. And I will live with these thoughts for the rest of my life.
