Independent Love

Trust Issues

Me: I'm tired of looking baby

Makih: We just looked at two houses an you already tired

Me: Yep, and hungry

Makih: Alright one more house, this a different realtor hopefully this is the house you want

Me: I hope so too

We pulled up to a gated house on the outside it was beautiful hopefully the inside was too. We got out and walked to the front door where a man was talking on the phone with his back turned to us. When I looked back up it was the same guy from the club

I looked at him then looked away.

Ben: Nice to see you again Bella

Makih: Y'all know each other?

Me: We just met at the club once, nothing serious

Ben: I can assure you it's nothing, but are y'all ready to see this beautiful house

Me: Sure

Ben: The gated house like you wanted, it has 7 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms plus a guest room in the back. A pool, movie theater, jacuzzi, and I heard that you were going to build a studio in here

Makih: Yea, trying to work from home sometimes instead of leaving my wife and kids all the time

Ben:Well this is the master bedroom

Makih: Hold on this an important call I'll be right back baby

Makih walked out leaving me and Ben alone in the master bedroom

Ben: So you love the house

Me: Yes I do, something different. I'm really ready to stop looking and this is only the third house

Ben: Sooo you never hit me up, did you find the number

Me: Yes, and I threw it away. Ben I have a fiancé and I don't want to ruin that over trying to be friends with you. Did you see the way he looked at me when you said my name? Now we about to go home and have a whole conversation about what happened at the club

Ben: Well if your man has to question your loyalty then he ain't the man for you

Me: Oookk let's go find my fiancé

Ben: All I'm asking is for you to just hit me up anytime you feel the need to talk or meet up nothing more Bella

Me: You sure about that?

Ben: I'm sure and if I try something then you can stop talking to me, how about that

Me: How about I think about it. And the next time we run into each other I'll let you know

Ben: That's fair enough

Makih walked back into the room after his call and we finished looking around. We ended up signing the papers for the house. Me and Makih went back home after we picked the kids up and I was cooking dinner while Makih was with the kids.

Makih: Baby

Me: Damn Makih, you scared the shit out of me. At least let me know when you enter the room

Makih: Sorry, so how do you know this realtor guy

Me: I told you I met him at the club. He came up to me but nothing else happened

Makih: Well how he know your name?

Me: He heard Star say it at the club, are you gone question me about a guy I have no relations with?

Makih: Its just a little strange that all of a sudden he's our realtor

Me: So what are you trying to say Makih? Because I didn't know he was a realtor and I barely even know his name. Look he tried to get with me I told him I was engaged to be married and I don't want him.

Makih: And when was you gone tell me about that

Me: I wasn't because it wasn't a big deal, I don't want him.

Makih: So we keeping secrets now

Me: Look what will it take for you to realize that I freaking love you and that won't never go away. We have a child together and we are about to be married in two more months. I wouldn't be with you if I was messing with another man. Can't you just once have trust in me. Cook your own damn dinner

I grabbed MJ and Kairi and went into my room and laid down with them. I would call Star but her husband just got back from the army for good so I'm barely gone see her now and Mariah finally found her somebody. Hour later the kids were sleep I took them to there room and went to go take a shower. I got to thinking about all the argument me and Makih has had and most of them has something to do about his trust issues. I mean I get that somebody broke your heart I mean I went through the same thing but I'm not her. I just don't get how you can say you love me but the trust isn't there. Just thinking about the shit we've been through only made me cry. I mean are we going in the right path of being married with the problems we have. I just don't know. I got out the shower and went to lotion up and put on some panties only to see Makih sitting at the edge of the bed looking at me. I kept minding my business while he continued to look at me. While I was sitting on the bed he grabbed the lotion and rubbed it on my back

Makih: I'm sorry

Me: Aren't you always, I'm going to bed I'm sleepy

Makih: Look Bella I am sorry. But you knew that I had trust issues from the jump ain't nothing changed

Me: Do you hear yourself Makih. I get it I had trust issues too but I'm not Yasmin and y'all s  relationship was over  years ago

Makih: So what are you saying

Me: That I don't want to marry somebody who don't trust me. I love you but I can't Makih

After that I laid down and went to sleep. As much as I didn't want to say that it was the truth.