Make Me (Editing)

thirty five

"Rise and shine," I woke to Becca pulling open the curtains of the room I was staying in, letting the bright morning sunlight fill the space.

"What time is it?" I croaked out, rolling over in an attempt to shield my face from the direct light.

"Almost midday," she replied. "I thought I'd wake you while it was still the morning."

"Mhmm," I murmured sleepily, yawning as I began to stretch out my muscles.

I'd gotten back to the house at around four o'clock in the morning, and hadn't had too much trouble falling asleep after that. I think I'd been entirely too exhausted, both physically and emotionally, to not pass out the second my head hit the pillow.

Since it was well and truly too late for breakfast, Becca and I went out to a nearby café for lunch as soon as I'd gotten myself dressed and ready. I had on one of her old oversized sweaters along with a pair of black yoga pants, fitting in with the chill vibe of the neighbourhood.

"So how are you feeling now that you've had a chance to process everything?" Becs asked as we waited for the lady to heat up the pies we'd ordered.

"I honestly don't know where my head's at," I sighed. "On the one hand, I just want to forget it even happened and move on. But there's also this big part of me that knows how unhealthy that mentality is."

"I mean the real question you have to ask yourself is how hard you're willing to fight for this to work," she laid it on the line. "You've gotta work out how deep the feelings go, and decide if it's a whirlwind type romance or a real relationship with Tyler."

"I know what I want," I replied without hesitation. "And I think you do too, after the way I reacted yesterday."

"But..?" She could sense that I wasn't finished, prompting me to go on.

"But I can't help but to think about how much easier it would be with Nate," I finally put it out in the open. "He's literally on the other side of the world right now, waiting for me to come home. How many guys could I say that for?"

"True," she acknowledged the fact. "But there's also a man sitting in a hotel room just thirty minutes from here waiting for you. It might not sound as grand or dramatic, but it has to count for something."

"I guess you're right."

Our food was finally brought over to our table, causing us to take a brief intermission from our conversation as we dug into our pies.

"Oh that reminds me," I spoke up after a while. "Were there any messages from him on my phone last night when you sent the text through?"

"You really want to know?" She asked, making me just a little worried at the possibility that he hadn't even reached out or shown concern. "I thought you were wanting to ignore all of that."

"I'm just curious," I replied. "Sue me."

"32 texts. 17 calls. 1 email," she answered my question. "And he replied as soon as I texted."

"What did he say?" I asked curiously.

"I've already said too much," she chuckled. "Just know that he wasn't proud of the way he'd acted."

"Okay," I conceded, knowing deep down that it was for the best that I didn't know exactly what he'd said. She was completely right in saying that I needed to work out what I wanted before considering what he was willing to give.

"Oh and I also let your parents know where you were, mainly to stop them from calling the hotel after you," Becca continued. "They were wondering if you were interested in going over to theirs for dinner tonight. And I took the liberty to say that you would."