Cursed >> C. Volturi

Dernière Danse

Even now I don't know what possessed me to go with Alice. Maybe it was the broken look Jasper sent me, maybe it was because I couldn't listen to another beauty competition between Tanya and Rosalie, or perhaps it was because I missed home, but when Alice had a vision of the human killing herself, I run after her.

"Why did you come with me?"

"Rosalie was trying to reestablish her place as the most gorgeous vampire in existence. And while I do not usually condemn that sort of behavior, after months of listening the same thing over and over again, one becomes understandably bored. " I replied to the hyper-pixie that drove like possessed.

"Hmm, they have been on it for months now. " Alice replied absentmindedly as we navigated our way towards home.

"You know you have started to speak like it was normal when you were human." she added after a couple of moments of silence.

"Really? I believe I've failed to notice the change in my manner of speech. But I don't think I should be judged too harshly for that. I have spent only so little time with humans." I replied looking outside the window.

I didn't know what to expect when I set foot on Forks soil. I didn't know whether it would bring me some relief or not, but I did know that it was what I needed. I had to see the small town once again, had to breathe it's wet and cold air, see its grey clouds and smell the wilderness of the nature that surrounded it. I needed to say my goodbye, believing it to be the last time I've ever see it. I didn't know how correct I was.

"You are awfully quiet. " I remarked after hours of silence. My companion made an unintelligent noise of acknowledgement before continuing to stare into the space. I know that look. Alice was checking the future, forcing visions to see whether the human has killed herself or not.

I want to lie and pretend that I felt relieved when we came to Forks. I want to say that I was happy to be back home, but the only thing I felt was disgust. Disgust at the small town life everyone in the God forsaken place was bound to lead, disgust at the fact that I actually came here because I wanted a home, only to see that this is not my home any more than Alaska was. It was unexpected. Disconnecting. Terrifying.

"What's wrong?" Alice's voice rung in my ears as she drove towards the humans home.

"Aren't you supposed to be watching your pet's future?" I bit back instead of answering her. The emotions that were wrecking my body were too strong for me to handle. I didn't know where they were coming from. I didn't understand them.

It was like I was sort of sleepwalking, and I could not understand what was happening even though I knew. Like a certain sort of limbo, when you are feeling too much and nothing at all.

I felt empty. Yes I was angry, confused, slightly bored, a bit scared and giddy but still, somehow hollow. It was intense. It did not stop.

"Hey, I know Jasper is your favorite and that you are not a fan of Bella's, but there is no need to be mean. We're almost there anyway. " Alice said.

It's when she said his name I realized how actually dependent I am on Jasper. He was not only my brother but my anchor as well. His ability to manipulate emotions so helpful, I believe him to be the only thing that kept me from losing myself.

As these strange feelings overwhelmed me, I understood that my brother was protecting me all along. Somehow that epiphany did not fill me with gratitude, instead it choose to coil itself around my heart in the form of shame. I wasn't any better than the newborns I spent decades destroying. The only reason I didn't act like them was because I had a protector. It's pathetic.

"Are you alright?" the chipped voice of my sister said.

"I'm fine. "

"Good, we're here. " Alice said as she suddenly stopped, our bodies launching forward before slaming back in our seats, the force enough to break our spines were we human.