LEMONADE|| Keith Powers

Chapter 41: I DO

He was finally in the recovering room. The surgery was a good two hours. I already called Nesta telling her that I would be back soon. I felt so bad that she basically had to stay the whole night babysitting when that wasn't even her job in the first place. She was so understanding and okay about it. "Ricky" I called seeing if he would wake up but he was gone off the medication. I felt bad for him, you could see it in his eyes how tired he is. When they were putting him to sleep he was looking up as if he was ready to transition. Ready for it to be over with. Kamaya shortly walked in "Hey" she said hugging me

"Its 4 in the morning, what are you doing up? I asked. "Worried sick" she sighed. "Grant is in the hospital with a broken neck and I don't know how to feel about it" she said. She walked over pecking Ricky on the cheek

"Yeah, I understand. It's a weird feeling I bet" I said. "Damn Ricky" I mumbled. Did he really have to do that much damage?

"Grant was never good to any of us. He used and abused anyone just to get where he needed to go. I miss my brothers before this life. Josie I swear they were so fun, full of energy and positive. Ricky used to be beyond nice, and warm" she sighed. "Dreux used to have driven and ambition now he's just there" she added. I could only imagine how they used to be, I could only imagine how the whole family used to be.

"I remember Rudy and I went to one of Ricky's football games. Junior was about 2 years old... anyways all he wanted was for dad to just show up once and he didn't. He never even asked me what I want out of life, I don't even think he showed me how a man should treat a lady matter of fact. He never did" she said staring in space.

"You're going to get me all emotional, I feel the same way. I need my dad the most and I'm only 24, he's not here... I don't think he'll ever be the same" I spoke. We continued to talk for 30 more minutes before she left. Now it was just him and I, I adjusted myself on this uncomfortable seat dosing off.

Ricky

I finally woke up seeing my right hand tightly wrapped up. I felt a little disappointed and ashamed of myself. It's like I'm 31 years old and I'm fighting nonstop to make changes in my life that seems like it's impossible to happen and it was wearing on me. I feel like a fuck up, I had a choice whether to join this lifestyle but who wants to be denied by your father at 14. I had several failed relationships, a failed marriage, several secrets abortions, and miscarriages from the women I was involved in the past and now this shit. I feel like I was being cursed, I turned over to see Josie sleep on the chair. I was shocked that she was still here. She really stayed and held it down throughout the whole process. I stared at her watching her sleep peacefully. I felt bad she was uncomfortable on the chair.

She suddenly jumped up she glanced at me. "You're up" she said. "Yeah" I said. "Pain level? She asked

"A 4" I said. "Not too bad" she said. "Yeah" I spoke. Shortly a nurse came in fine nurse at that. "Hey Ricky, I'm Veronica. Glad to see you up" she spoke. I watched walk her walk the computer near me.

"Your surgeon will be in here shortly to discharge you" she explained

"How's your pain? She asked.

"A 7" I answered. "Okay, I can see if we can give you a higher dosage" she smiled walking by. I watched her walk by staring at her hips switch with every step

"How'd you go from a 4 to a 7 that fast? Josie asked.

"Because" I answered

"Junkie" she joked. "Yeah, okay" I said