Trapped (A Ticci Toby Story)

chapter 4- Free For All

"I think I'm sick." I mumbled against the bark of a tree.
I was clinging onto a tall oak tree, using it to keep me upright until I recovered.
Jeff and Ben were laughing too hard to hear me.
They were laughing at the way I choked on the puff they made me take from a joint. They were laughing at the face I made at its taste, the way I stumbled away from them while I coughed violently.
I blinked my eyes forcefully, trying to stop the familiar trees from rocking back and forth.
I could feel it.
The vile rising from my stomach. I could feel the waves and waves of sick rushing through me, each one worst than the last.
I cluched my stomach and shoved my head against the tree.
This feeling was awful.
I just wanted it to stop. I wanted the sick to stay down and go away.
Even though I didn't understand what was happening, my body must have known.
A quick, natural response.
I threw up.
Jeff and Ben stopped laughing instantly.
"Oh shit" they said.
The leaves crunched and shifted as they jumped to their feet.
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to swallow back the waves that were threatening to make me go through that horrible experience of vomiting again.
No matter how many times I tried to force it down, it came.
The liquor tasted just as horrible coming up as it did going down.
"Just let it out, bud." jeff patted my back with very little tenderness.
I coughed and spat out the taste from my mouth.
My legs shook violently from this ordeal and i was too dizzy to hold myself up. I rested my body weight againat the poor tree who witnessed it all.
I hated this. I hated this so much.
I could hear Ben take a drag off of the joint before he asked, "You okay, bro?"
I shook my head and wipped my mouth with my sleeve.
"No, I think I'm going to die." I gasped.
This sent them into another laughing fit.
"Oh, Toby." Jeff sang after he partially recovered. "you're a fucking light weight! Four shots," he raised four long fingers in my face. I squinted to focus them. "and you already can't remember your fucking grandmother's name!"
"What is my grandmother's name?" I asked.
They broke into another fit.
Jeff swung and arm around my sholders and squeezed me again him.
"I love you, you little shit. You know that?" he grinned wider and pulled me down to a head lock at his side and the bottle in his hand against my face. The motion made my stomach turn sour. "I fucking envy you too. You won't feel any of this in the morning!"
I pulled from his headlock and stumbled away from him.
"I love you too, jeff." I said miserably.
Jeff took a long swig of vodka and Ben said something that made himself laugh.
I sank to the leaves and buried my head between my knees, still trying to ease the sick from my belly.
I felt as if my body was tilting sideways when I could clearly see that I wasn't.
It was terrifyingly otherworldly.
I hate this.
I needed Jack.
I climbed to my feet and started away from Jeff and Ben, towards our home.
"Where are you going?" Jeff stopped laughing.
"I'm going home." I replied, uncharacteristically annoyed by his stupid question. "I have to see jack."
Jeff picked up on my tone and his temper hardened instantly.
"No. you're not. You're not going to tell that asshole what we did tonight!" jeff dropped his bottle down into the leaves and pushed in front of me.
"I don't feel good. I'm going back." I snapped and pushed past him. He grabbed my hoodie and shoved me back. I stumbled back a few more steps than I'd like, before I regained my bearings.
"Common jeff, he's not a drinker. He's practically green. Just let him go." Ben tired to reason.
Of course jeff wasn't listening. He never listens when he's in a dangerous mood like this.
"Cut the shit! I know you're just going to run over there and tell Jack what we let you do! You're just a snitching little bitch! You're always hiding behind the three like a little pussy!" by the three, he was talking about Masky, hoodie, and jack. The strongest and the one's who hold authority over the rest of us. "You know nothing can touch you with the three of them! Well you know what? They're fucking tired of you! That's why they left you! Slender chose you for his proxy, but we ALL know you're just a fucking mistake! You're a screw up!"
I growled at him, a glowing rage lit a fire in my body.
"Shut up, jeff!" I resorted "You don't know what you're talking about! You weren't there! You were never there because you won't stop feeling sorry for yourself! You won't get off the TV and do something for a change! At least I'm trying! I train, and fight, and work constantly so I could be what they want me to be!" I was seeing red and my voice wavered with the heavy amount of rage. "and I am a proxy! You hate that don't you? You're just mad because I'm going to be above you when I'm done! I should be higher than you as it is! I'm stronger and faster than you! I deserve to be with the three!"
Jeff laughed drily and shoved his face into mine.
"You ain't going to get there kid. You don't have the skill! Those fucks can teach you all they want, but you don't have the balls! You couldnt even pull the trigger! What makes you think you're going to be anything but the lowest peice of scum here?" Jeff shoved me hard.
"whoa, whoa, whoa!" Ben tried to intervene.
With and angry growl I shoved my body into jeff the moment I caught my balance.
That's all it took for us the be at each others throats.
We were no longer friends.
I didn't care how much I hurt him and I didn't care how much he hurt me. I just wanted him to pay for the words that split into me.
The words that were so cruel because they were true.
I swung my fist across his face and he swung his. Our feet kicked up the leaves as we moved, swing after swing, stepping, shoving.
Like a dance.
This wasn't like the last time we fought.
I wasn't helpless and afraid.
I was stronger than him now. I was fighting back.
I was fighting back and it hurt me.
It hurt.
Every bit of contact I made with his body broke me- It broke me in a way that made me weak. I didn't want this. Even with the rage inside me, I couldn't stand hurting him.
I bared my teeth, unable to continue doing this and pulled away from him out of his reach. He must have felt the same way because he stopped fighting me without hesitation.
Our shoulders rose and fell as huffed vapor from our mouths.
I glared at the twinkle of blood that started to grow from his bottom lip, I willed him to look away first, to step down, to apologize to me.
But it was Ben who spoke first.
"What the hell man?" he snapped at jeff.
Jeff ignored him and wipped the blood from his lip. He snarled at me.
"The proxies didn't need you then and they sure as hell don't need you now."
The anger that left moments ago built back up in me as quickly as it left.
I was so sick of hearing this! I'm so sick of being the burden! Im so sick of being treated like i couldn't do anything right! He was right. No one needed me, masky and hoodie didn't need me, they left me here to be someone else's problem.
They never gave me a chance.
I was never given a chance!
I spun around and started toward the direction masky and hoodie left earlier today. A day past Cadence, a day and half from here.
I could make it.
"Toby, where you going, bro?" Ben asked.
The leaves on the ground were working against me as i stumbled through them. They felt as if they were dragging my feet down like water.
"I'm going to show masky and hoodie that I'm not a waste of time! You're wrong!"
"Yeah, well good luck fucking finding them! You fucking idiot!" jeff slurred. "Tell Tim I told him to fuck off!"
I flipped him off.
He flung something small against my back, intending it to hit harder than it actually did. "Yeah, well fuck you too asshole!"
I ignored him and pushed through a cluster of wiry twigs, snapping them one by one with my weight until i could no longer feel them snag onto my hoodie.
"Common Toby!" Ben whined still expecting me to turn around and go back. "Lets just go home! You're drunk! You're an angry drunk! We know that now! Lets just go back so you can sleep it off! Toby!"
I reached forward blindly to grab onto whatever was in front of me and let my hand rap around a flimsy young tree. I pulled on it, half using its branches as balance and half pushing it out of my way.
I could hear them walking through the leaves behind me. I broke from their sight and they were coming to retrieve me.
Drag me back like a caged animal.
I pushed myself through the brush faster.
The last of the twigs gave way against my body. As soon as a broke through the growth-
I ran.
"Hey!" Jeff reached out and tried to grab my hood. "Dumbass, get back here!"
"Toby!" Ben called.
The ground blurred under me as i ran, only a select spot became clear just under my feet. I ran through streams and leaped over rocks.
They weren't going to catch me. The edge of slender's territory was my sanctuary. The finish line to freedom.
"Toby!" Jeff called "I'm sorry okay? Come back here! I'm going to break your fucking neck! Toby!"
His apology didn't mean anything to me. The damage has been done. I had to prove him wrong, I had to show him that i was needed, the proxies needed me. I wasn't a mistake.
I wasn't a mistake!
I could see the trees breaking up, they grew less dense the closer I came to the edge of the territory.
"Toby, common! You're being reckless! Don't listen to jeff! He's drunk! You're both really drunk!"
I will not hear.
Moonlight shown past the trees over a long stretch of black road.
They wouldn't be able to cross slender's territory. Jeff wasn't able to be in public anymore and Ben couldn't leave slenders protection without being claimed by Zalgo.
I busted through the tree line, away from slender's territory, across the road, into freedom.
I turned back when I reached the other side.
One last glimpse of Ben and Jeff as they broke through the trees.
Ben skidded to a halt at the edge of the trees, but jeff raced out-only to stop when head lights appeared down road from us.
That car was buying me time. Time jeff didn't have if he was going after me.
I turned my back and ran into the woods across from our own.
Away from them.
If only I knew,
I wasn't going to make it back.