In My Heart

The Wedding- Part 9

The wedding was all a blur for Jalillah. Her friends were more excited than she was. Biola wanted to throw her a bridal shower but she refused it.

"You know, if you feel this miserable, you should call off the wedding," Biola said after she was unable to convince her on the bridal shower.

"You know why I am doing this Biola, don't make it any harder"

"Well I know your grandmother means the world to you, but you have to prioritize your feelings Jalillah. The guy practically told you he will never love you. Am sorry but you are more than worthy of a man's love, and if he will not give you then I see no reason why you should be with him."

She knew Biola was ranting out of love and concern, but hearing the truth from her hurt more than she expected. She had become a marshmallow and cried on the drop of a pin. What happened to the strong Jalillah, who took care of everyone and was strong and confident? She missed that Jalillah because this new one was tired, confused and unsure of anything. Biola let her off the hook on the shower, but she insisted Jalillah choose what she would wear.

"You can't feel horrible inside and look same outside. You have to look, fabulous babe"

There was a wedding dinner, which was organized by Madam. It was a big event and the entire aristocrats in the country were expected to be there. Biola took her to a bridal boutique in town to shop, but Jalillah could not find anything she liked, maybe because she was not enthusiastic about the wedding. She thought it was just going to be the wedding fathia at a mosque and that would be all, but it turned out to be a huge fiesta. Inna organized a mini party for her henna and there were an abundance of guests in the house. Jalillah escaped to her room and agonized about everything around her. She was expected to be happy days before her wedding, but she was not. She looked up at her dress hanging on her wardrobe door. After failing to find a dress she like, Biola had called a friend of hers, who was a personal shopper for the rich socialites in Lagos. She just needed her size and budget, but Biola paid for it. She insisted on doing so saying "You can name your first daughter after me" It felt awkward after she said it but they all smiled it off. Jalillah knew babies were out of the table for Mo and her.

Her dress was delivered three days to the wedding dinner and was Elie Saab. It was a made of gold lace, embellished with white crystals. It depicted a fairy tale in every sense, having a nipped waist and voluminous flow. Jalillah felt every bit like a princess wearing it. She paired it with a white satin head tie and a piece of pearl earring. Her makeup was light and natural with a touch of gold eye shadow, and nude lips. Everyone was in awe of how she looked, and it was what she had imagined, except for the groom, who was waiting for her in the car outside.

Jalillah stepped out of the house while Biola and some of her friends followed behind, helping carry the dress train, and then she saw him. Mo was standing in the midst of his friends but he looked handsome and debonair. No one needed an introduction of who the groom was. He wore a white colored Baban Riga/Agbada, which was neatly embroidered with gold design. His hula was a classic cap design from northern Nigeria. She noticed he had trimmed off his beard, although not entirely. Mo had a fixed look on her, as well as his friends. She felt like time had stopped while the universe shined a spotlight on her. Beside Mo was AK, she was glad to see him beside Mo, it meant that they had settled their differences. As she walked up towards the sleek Bentley Mo moved his gaze from her and opened the door. She was shivering and did not know if it was from the cars air conditioning or her nerves. She held her hands together to stop her fingers from shaking.

The drive was short and they were at the venue in no time. Jalillah could see the crowd from the tinted window of the car, and she took a deep breath.

"Ready?" Mo asked slightly

Ready? She has never been more unready in her life. This moment was marking the most uncertain time for her. All the mapped out future plans was vanishing and she could not imagine what the future held. The chaos outside from the flashlight and the loud music represented what she felt. She just wanted to seat in the car and not move an inch, but she turned to Mo and nodded, she was unsure if she spoke her burning throat will erupt in hot tears.

The dinner had more people she could have ever known. Guests were immersive to her which made her dizzy. She was sure she was falling when she felt a strong hand grip her by the waist. Mo gently pulled her close to him and she felt secured to face the crowd. It was a long walk to the podium and she felt all the eyes piercing at her. If Mo was not holding her, she would not trust herself walk up and would have been a runaway bride. Mo held her until she was seated and he sat beside her. It was too real for her, and who were all these people? She turned to look at Mo and found him comfortably seated and smiling. He was at ease and in his element.

The wedding dinner was flamboyant in every way. Just when she was adjusting into a comfort zone, the couples were invited to have a first dance. For a moment Jalillah was expecting for some other person to come out, but then Mo stood up and gave her a hand. This was the first time she was going to take Mo's hand into hers. He had soft palms and gently held her fingers, before moving to hold all of her hands. He led her to the dance floor and the song Perfect by Ed Sheeran came on. Jalillah closed her eyes, how could she dance to this great love song with someone she was sure did not love her? but Mo was determined to put on a show because he held Jalillah by the waist with both hands, giving her no choice but to put her hands up to his shoulder. It was a good show, and any spectator would admire them as a lovely couple, so in love, only a few knew the reality of their marriage. Mo swirled her unexpectedly, before pulling her close to him. Their faces were inches away and his hand placed gently on her back. She could not look up at him, so she was faced with his neck which was masked with the smell of his perfume. The rich musky cologne he wore added to his charm and when the song came to end Jalillah was relieved to be seated. She could still smell Mo even after he left to dance with his mother. She saw the joy Madam had as she watched them dance, and read Madam's lip say 'Thank you' to Mo. She was obviously proud of the show he was putting up for her quest. At the end of the night Jalillah though she got her dream wedding, but only for an arranged loveless marriage, it only made leaving Inna more difficult for her at the end of the night.

*

Jalillah had a painful and vivid memory of leaving Inna. She had hugged Inna so tight with tears and refused to let go. The people conveying the bride had to drag her away from Inna and into the waiting car. Jalillah was sure she had never been this sad. As the car drove off, Jalillah thought of her grandmother and the uncertain life she was moving into. It only renewed the tears in her eyes.