trepidation (Bakugo Katsuki x Reader)

51. mepe

"Is Y/N ok?" I heard Midoriya mutter from around the door.

The whole class is gathered in there- It's not like you're that mad at him anyway.

You're right but-

I understand.

"Yeah I don't think she wants to talk to anyone right now though," Kirishima said his voice soft- hurting.

Not as much as I am thanks to them.

"Someone should talk to her- we're going to get Bakugo back," Midoriya paused his voice full of uncertainty, "right guys?"

I-

"It's being handled by the pro heroes we really shouldn't get involved besides-" Aoyama spoke up obviously worried.

Why?

Why don't you care?

Pro heroes my ass I live with two of them and all they do is talk about taxes and sleeping bags they're useless.

"I agree with Aoyama it's not safe we should leave it to people who know what they're doing," Tokoyami muttered a chorus of muffled agreements following his words.

How come they haven't been doing anything faster?

Why do they get to sit around?

They aren't strategizing they're trying to protect the name of the school.

They don't care about him at all!

They don't even know what's happening do him- he could be dead by now.

"But-" Kirishima protested his voice strangled and rushed.

Goodbye.

I turned on my heel walking out of the hospital.

I don't want to listen to them anymore I just want him home.

"Hey Dad can you pick me up?" I murmured into the phone staring outside at the blurry gray of the city.

I need to get home.

"Yea-" he paused I could hear Mom saying something on the other end, "I'm sorry I can't there's a meeting at the school I'll make it up to you some other time." He hung up a dull tone ringing through my ears.

"Why are you so calm?"

He has whispered that to me when we were stuck in those marble prisons.

Why was I so calm? Why was I so unaware? Why was I so stupid?

Cheer up Y/N he isn't dead yet- if he was it would be back.

You're right look on the bright side.

I unconsciously touched the place where my mark had been, that large uneven messy lump of red a constant reminder of how unfortunate I was.

It's funny how much I would've given to change my soulmate back then.

To never meet him.

It would be too painful.

"...don't get me wrong I'm worried but it isn't a good idea to go out there ourselves- it's too dangerous." Tsuyu said walking past me with the rest of the group.

I'd better get home.

"Did you guys see Y/N? She wasn't outside the room when we left," Kirishima called out to the rest of the group rushing past me.

Am I really that invisible?

"I think she went home," someone piped up from the group.

She's right here.

"Does anyone know where it is? I want to talk to her." Kirishima pressed eyes flashing with determination.

Of course not Pro Heroes like to live private lives.

"I think it's close to Bakugo's I've seen them take the same train to school sometimes," Uraraka piped up pointing down a winding street.

Close.

"Thank you!" Kirishima dashed ahead as the rest of the group began to disperse.

I should catch up to him.

"Kirishima wait up," I mumbled weakly stumbling forward.

You've never been very athletic but then again you've always had someone to support you.

"Y/N?" He stopped in his tracks turning around his bright eyes meeting mine.

Hi.

"Yeah what did you want to talk about?" I mumbled finally catching up with him.

My house is sort of far away.

"Are you ok?"

Am I?

"I'm just-" I paused thinking for a second the anger that had been building up inside me ever since I was held back had been crumbling giving way to sadness.

Two stages of grief.

"I'm just upset I guess," I brushed off his question tears building up in my eyes threatening to spill out.

Let's just get to the point.

"It's ok to be sad Y/N," Kirishima glanced down at me pulling me into a friendly hug.

I

"He's really gone isn't he?" I sniffed burying my head into his jacket the tears that I was biting back a second ago spilling down my face.

This is so ugly.

"It's ok we're going to get him back," Kirishima reassured squeezing me tighter.

Thank you so much.

"What if we don't?" I paused my words getting stuck in my throat trapped between sobs, "it'll be my fault! I wasn't able to save him!"

If only I tried harder.

"It's ok Y/N no one could've guessed what was going to happen- he's strong- he will be fine." The boy whispered tears of his own running down his cheeks.

But I did know- I thought about it and yet.

"I thought he was strong- that's why I wasn't worried I just let everything happen," I looked up at Kirishima my tears only falling faster. "I joked with that villain I treated everything like it was just a game! He was worried and I acted calm because I thought he would get me out of it!"

What was I trying to prove?

"It's ok Y/N we're going to save him."

How?

"Kirishima even the pro heroes don't know where he is- my Dad is at some pointless meeting they're going to talk about finding him but they don't really they just search and search and get nowhere." I stepped away from his embrace.

There's no point.

"Y/N don't end it! Bakugo wouldn't like to hear that you had lost faith in him- he wouldn't like to look down and see that his mark had returned." Kirishima's eyes were full of desperation and- hope.

Why are you so hopeful? What keeps you looking forward.

"He loves you Y/N." Kirishima held eye contact with me before turning away, "meet us in front of the hospital tonight- I have something to show you."

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sorry I HAVRNT BEEN UPDATING IM GONNA DO A BUNCH OF UPDATES RN TO MAKE UP FOR IT !!!

- AI