Twenty-Three

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“Do you accept?” Jacobi asked me. His form of apology was a lot more straightforward and almost angrier than those I was used to. Still, just from what I knew over time, I knew what he was offering me wasn’t something he offered a lot of people. In fact, using his spirit to heal the same person twice was probably completely unheard of. That wasn’t what stopped me from accepting, though.

I frowned deeply. “It makes you less powerful,” I said weakly. I wasn’t sure why this would bother me. He would get his strength back, but I felt like… it was similar to taking money from someone to me; like charity. I knew I would heal on my own eventually, so this wasn’t necessary. It made me feel… wrong.

“Yes,” He answered simply. When he noted that this wasn’t changing my mind, he frowned as well. “That’s why I ask for your forgiveness in return.” This explanation didn’t help me understand anything. In fact, as time was passing, I was thinking more clearly than before and my thoughts were becoming more confused with each piece of clarity.

“But… why do you want my forgiveness? You hate me.”

Jacobi looked away briefly before glaring at me. Similar to his words when I arrived at his door, I felt like he wasn’t directing his rage towards me. “You saved my life. In return, I had to beat you for it,” He growled, his anger taking my breath away. It stunned me to know even if I hadn’t been claimed to two of his coterie members he still wouldn’t have wanted to hurt me.  He had played very convincing at not actually caring about me during the trial. Maybe he really didn’t care about me, but rather about his “honor”. He promised me a quick death, which meant no more torture, and then was forced to break that promise. I didn’t know if I could exactly forgive that, but I didn’t exactly blame him for the beating. After all, I had agreed to it in the end.

“Fine,” I said finally, “I accept.” It didn’t hurt that this would ease some of my pain as well.

Jacobi looked down the hall both ways as though making sure nobody was nearby and then he pulled me into his room. It was colder in here than in the hallway. Chills moved over my skin in response as I looked around. The lamp on his desk, where he was working on small projects, was the only light on in the room. Jacobi moved to his bed, sitting down on it before looking at me expectantly. I hesitated. Maybe I should really start asking what things involve before I agree to them…

I pushed myself to walk over to the bed and then onto it on my knees. I winced when bending stretched out the flesh of my raw back. Jacobi moved onto the bed on his knees as well and grabbed my elbow, lifting so that I was kneeling in front of him. I raised my face to look at his at first with fear, but then as he peered at me with a look I couldn’t quite identify, I became increasingly curious. His eyes moved down to my body and he pinched the fabric of my slip lightly.

“This helps,” He mused huskily before clearing his throat and hardening his expression. I would have blushed madly knowing what inappropriate nightwear I was currently in, but again my cool skin was too weak to allow my embarrassment to show. Instead, I looked away, ducking my head shyly. He reached to lift my face back up to his. “I have to be careful after… my spirit keeps responding inappropriately to you. If you feel uncomfortable, just tell me and I’ll stop.” I nodded wordlessly, stunned by this new man before me.

He raised his hand just inches from my face as though he were going to cup my cheek and then paused. I felt that steady hum rising up and then the electricity sparked through me as whatever it was caressed some unseen part of me.

“No,” He warned deeply, once again not actually addressing me. The cool caresses dimmed, though the electricity was still there. That power wanted me, I knew, and I very much wanted to reach for it even though I didn’t understand what it was or what it meant. I held very still, afraid of setting off something Jacobi was obviously trying to control. He moved his hand over that untouchable part of me, sending a small gasp through me at the resulting shock of pleasure I felt in response. Again, he cautiously said, “No.”

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