Unspoken

Chapter 5

"Maybe this is wishful thinking. Probably mindless dreaming. But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right. I'd go back and change it, but I can't. So if the chain is on your door, I understand. This is me swallowing my pride. Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night." Back to December-Taylor Swift

"I'm sorry for coming so early. I couldn't sleep," I said to Ana as she opened her front door to me.

She yawned, widely. "It's fine."

I gave a half-smile. I'm sure she would rather be sleeping right now.

Her ponytail was lopsided and she rubbed her eyes sleepily. I watched as she stumbled to the kitchen to find something to keep her awake. At that point I so grateful she was here for me because I don't know what I would do right now without her.

"What's up?" she asked as she set the bowl of junk food-mostly candy- in front of me. Without thinking I dug in—though my stomach was going to hate me later. I've hardly had anything to eat lately. I'm sure candy wasn't the best idea but at least it was something.

"You know, the usual," I answered through the chocolate bar.

"Kasten broke up with her," she said in a matter of fact tone after a moment.

I choked on the candy sliding down my throat. I coughed and she came around the counter then she patted my back softly as if it was routine.

"I didn't think it would last long, but...why?"

She shrugged her shoulders.

I told her—multiple times—that if he wanted me back I wouldn't take him or he would have to work hard to get me back. To prove that's what he wanted and it wouldn't end like last time.

Yet hearing this I just wanted him by my side once again. Though if he did want me back—even if it wasn't likely—he'd have to prove that he wasn't going to hurt me as he did before. Or that's what I've been saying to everyone and myself. But I was probably lying to myself once more because I knew that if he told me he liked me again I'd run into his arms. Though I was getting ahead of myself.

"Do you think..." I couldn't finish my question, but Ana knew what I was talking about. Because it was probably all I talked about really.

"I don't know." Her eyes lit up. "But I could find out."

I was relieved that I didn't have to ask all the way, and maybe she knew that. "You're the best. You know that, right?"

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. I have to get back, Mom is going to start to worry. She doesn't know I'm out." I smiled weakly.

"Okay. Just don't give up hope. Got that?" She looked me in the eye and I nodded. "Good. I love you."

"Love you too."

I hugged her and started heading home.

As I walked home I couldn't help but let my mind wander. I was going to get my hopes too high once again. I couldn't help but think what if he did want me back? Luckily as I walked into my house as quietly as I could I noticed Mom's door was still closed. She would never have to know that I was gone.