incarcerated

11.

eddy's sleep was short and troubled. he replayed the memories of the previous night in his head over and over: the way brett had looked lying on the floor, that man's disgusting hands all over him, the tightness of the smaller boy's grip on eddy's torso. the sight of someone hurting brett that way took a toll on eddy and he ended up tossing and turning in the small space. he thought it was a miracle he didn't wake brett, but the smaller boy was so exhausted that nothing short of being shaken violently was going to disturb his slumber. but eddy expected him to be tired.

what eddy did not expect was for brett to be so close to him when the taller man woke up. his head was heavy on eddy's shoulder and his body was pressed all the way against him. eddy's cheeks reddened and he bit his lip.

all the warden wanted was to wrap his arms around brett's waist and pull him closer. he ran a quick hand through brett's hair and the blush returned to his face when the smaller boy leaned into his touch and grunted softly. eddy inhaled shakily and shook his head. he had to stop.

if it weren't for the fact that he'd lose his job and probably go to prison, he definitely would've latched onto brett and played with his hair just to hear that sound again. but he couldn't. he ran his hands down his face and clenched his fists to keep them off of brett.

getting off of that couch was one of the hardest things eddy had ever done. exhaustion beat down on him and his eyelids seemed to weigh tons as he stood up and stretched, his bones popping much louder than a 26 year old man's should've. the job made him feel much older than 26 anyways. some days it felt like he was centuries old and he feared his hair was going to turn gray before he reached 30.

    the first thing on eddy's agenda that day was to take care of the COs that had been working in brett's unit the previous night. had he been able to keep his eyes open after he carried brett to the office, he would've dealt with them then. but that just wasn't feasible. he sat down in his desk chair and rubbed his eyes, yawning loudly.

he'd never realized how useless his staff were until brett came to his prison. it led him to wonder how many other things were going on under his nose that he had no idea about.

    unfortunately, the COs that had been working the previous night had gone home at 7 am and it was just a bit past. eddy really couldn't do much of anything outside his office until brett woke up anyways, so he settled for working on his endless piles of paperwork and doing some things he needed to do on his computer. it was a sunday, and the inmates generally didn't get into much trouble on those days, so he figured he'd definitely be able to watch over brett until he woke up.

    hours passed and eddy became increasingly worried about whether or not brett was going to wake up. lunch time came and the smaller man continued to lay on the couch, eyes shut and body motionless. the warden sighed deeply and stood up.

   keeping his footsteps as quiet as possible, eddy walked over to brett and knelt down next to him. the exhaustion on his face was visible even in sleep and his cheeks were visibly stained with tears from the previous night and all of the difficult ones before. eddy watched his chest move up and down for a long time, oddly compelled by the almost mechanic motion. it meant that brett was alive and that's all eddy needed to be sure of.

    a knock on eddy's office door startled him so much that he fell backwards from his kneeling position, crashing into his desk and sending papers flying everywhere. he cursed loudly and glanced at brett to see that he was still asleep.

    "what?" the warden shouted over the sound of him gathering up papers, cheeks rosy with embarrassment.

    "sir, the inmate you've placed in solitary is demanding to see you. i thought you should know."

    eddy's humorless laugh reverberated off the walls, echoing ominously throughout the room. he opened stepped out of his office to look at the two guards at the door, making sure to keep brett out of their sight.

    "tell him he can see me in hell. i'm not letting him out of there for a long time. oh, and, speaking of that inmate and the incident that occurred last night, i want you two to keep in mind that it's your fucking job to keep these prisoners safe. i don't know what the fuck has been going on around here that's made all of you so god damn useless, but i'm sick of it. if i hear of one more preventable incident happening on someone's watch, they're fired. inmate yang was dragged from his bed into a closet and raped for the second time and i was the one who had to stop it. does that sound anything like something that should be happening, officers?"

    "no, sir," two shaky voices replied in unison.

    "i didn't fucking think so. co aguilar and lynn sat in that office on their fucking asses while an inmate entered the wrong unit and committed another crime—in prison. if either of you or anyone else around this godforsaken place lets anything like that happen again, i will fucking destroy you. all of you better start doing your god damn jobs or ill fire everyone who works here and start over. do you understand me?"

"yes, sir," the guards replied again, visibly terrified. eddy exhaled heavily.

"good. you can go. feel free to tell your coworkers what i said before i tell them myself at the meeting later."

the two guards walked quickly away from eddy's office. the warden was the most terrifying man that either of them had ever seen and the sound of his anger filled voice instilled fear deep in the two men's hearts. eddy went back into his office and nearly slammed the door, but stopped it at the last second when he remembered brett.

shockingly, the prisoner was still asleep. eddy sighed. as much as he wanted to let brett sleep in there all day and admire the way his black hair fell in his face and his nose twitched every few minutes, he knew that the danger brett was in increased the longer he was in there. he leaned down and put his hand on brett's shoulder, shaking him gently.

"brett, hey," he whispered. brett did not react.

"brett?" eddy frowned, pushing more forcefully on the other man's shoulder. he groaned and moved away from the warden's touch. eddy was just relieved to see him moving again.

"come on, you gotta get up," eddy's soft voice nearly lulled brett back into a slumber, but the realization of where he was clicked in his head before he could do anything resembling falling back asleep. he sat up slowly on the couch and wrapped the blanket tightly around his shoulders, not saying a word.

"are you okay?" the warden asked, unnerved by brett's blank stare. once again, stupid question. brett didn't respond. eddy reached his hand towards him.

"hey, you—"

"please don't touch me," a broken whisper escaped brett's lips. eddy retracted his hand and sighed softly.

"the guards who worked your unit last night are going to be in massive trouble when they get here, brett. that wouldn't have happened if it weren't for them."

"it wouldn't have happened if it weren't for us," brett mumbled, a tear falling down his cheek. eddy wished he'd let him sleep.

"i'm so sorry," he said.

"you have to leave me alone," brett stated. "i don't care what this is or how much i want to stay in here with you or how much you think i don't deserve to be in here. we can't... this can't go on—as much as i want it to. sir."

eddy was speechless. he was so tired of this back and forth, hot and cold, unending, paradoxical nightmare. all he wanted was to pick brett up and carry him straight out of the prison.

"okay," eddy's voice was barely a whisper. his stomach was in knots as he watched brett stand up and adjust his clothes, his inner turmoil visible on his face. he was just about to walk out of the door when he turned around and walked back to where eddy stood, his head down.

the smaller boy put his hands on the back of eddy's neck and stood on his tiptoes to plant a soft kiss on his cheek.

"i'm sorry," he sighed. "i'll see you around, sir."

there was nothing eddy could say as he watched brett turn away from him once more and walk out of his office door, the sound of it shutting shattering the warden's heart.