incarcerated

19.

     the warden reacted quicker than brett did, wrapping his long arms around his waist.

    "i'm sorry about this," he mumbled before carrying him into a small closet located into the corner of his office. he kissed the other man's forehead gently before shutting the door.

    brett said nothing, crossing his arms and listening intently to any sound on the other side of the wood in front of him. it wasn't the first time he'd been in the closet.

    sweating nervously, eddy opened the door of his office. the man standing in front of him was not someone he wanted to see—especially not at that very moment.

    eddy had never been too scared of the higher-ups, but now was not exactly the best time to be face to face with one. not with an inmate in his closet. he didn't know what to say.

    "warden chen, aren't you going to invite me in?" said the man, whose nametag read joseph owens.

    "uh, yeah, please," eddy stammered, face red and hands trembling.

    he'd be lying if he said he had no idea why mr owens was visiting him. the prison wasn't exactly doing well, to say the least. the recent incidents of violence and sexual assault were likely to catch someone's eye. it was only a matter of time.

    "you can have a seat, if you'd like," eddy said, unable to keep his voice steady for very long. it was hard to keep his eyes off the closet.

    joseph sat down in one of the chairs in front of eddy's desk and the warden sat in his own, clasping his hands to hide their tremors. he cleared his throat to speak, but his company beat him to it.

    "edward, i'm sure you know why i'm here," he said, voice cold as ice. eddy nodded in defeat.

    "i'm assuming it has something to do with the recent incidents," he sighed. joseph laughed.

    "you assume correctly, warden. i've come here to ask you what the fuck all that is about. are you running your prison, or is it running you?"

    eddy was embarrassed. he hoped that brett couldn't hear their conversation.

    brett, listening intently, cringed. he didn't know this strange man in the warden's office or who he was, but he didn't like him. it took all the strength in his small body not to open the door and then open his mouth.

    "uh, i—"

    "save the excuses, chen. your inmates are in danger. there's blood on your hands."

    speechless, eddy leaned back in his chair and absorbed joseph's piercing gaze as it hit his eyes. he needed a moment to compose himself internally before even attempting any defense. taking a deep breath, he leaned forward once again.

    "sir, i'm well aware of what happened. i've fired the officers responsible and everyone left is being retrained until it gets through their thick skulls. i made a mistake. and i'm trying to correct it," he said calmly, forcing himself to maintain eye contact.

"oh, you're trying? do you want a fucking gold star?" joseph spat, standing up. "edward, if i hear of anything like that happening in this prison again, you're fired. if it was an isolated incident, sure. that's fine. but this crosses a line, warden. get your shit together or ill make sure you never run another prison in your life. ill be watching you very closely. consider this your official warning."

eddy said nothing as the other man turned around and left his office, slamming the heavy door behind him.

brett was too terrified to move. he wanted more than anything to run to eddy, to comfort him, to tell him that everything would be okay. but he stood still, mouth open in shock. it felt like everything was his fault.

tears pricked eddy's eyes and he bit his lip until he tasted blood. not only did he get his ass chewed out, it happened while the victim of the crimes mentioned was listening. and their.. relationship.. didn't help.

"you can come out now," eddy said, cheeks reddening when his voice broke mid-sentence. brett pushed the closet door open.

"eddy, i'm so sorry," he said softly, slowly approaching the other man. eddy scoffed.

"yeah. me, too," he mumbled. slow tears fell down his cheeks. he didn't care enough to wipe them. frowning, brett sat himself down on eddy's desk in front of him.

"why are you sorry?" he asked, putting his small hand on eddy's shoulder. the warden shied away from his touch.

"we can't do this anymore, brett. they're gonna be breathing down my neck. i wouldn't be surprised if they send in someone to fucking watch me. we can't. i'm sorry," he said coldly, standing up and walking towards the door of his office.

brett was speechless as he watched the taller man, hurt and anger bubbling in his empty stomach. it worsened as eddy opened the door, motioning for brett to go.

it wasn't going to be that easy. the inmate walked towards the door, but he took the handle and shut it forcefully.

"are you fucking kidding me, eddy?" he said, almost too loudly. eddy raised his eyebrows, taken aback by the anger in brett's voice.

"what?" he scoffed, crossing his arms. brett clenched his fists.

"i try to push you away and shut you out for months, and you refuse to leave me the fuck alone. i tell you over and over that this is dangerous and risky, and you have your fucking guards keep an eye on me for you and report what i'm doing. yeah, i know about that. i'm not stupid," he hissed.

"brett, i—" eddy attempted, but he didn't stand a chance against brett's fury.

"no. eddy, i tried to keep us apart for a long fucking time, but you refused to quit. don't you dare try and end this now," he warned. eddy threw his hands up.

"what the hell do you suggest we do then, brett? you want me to keep letting you sleep in my office while my bosses are keeping their eye on me because of things that happened to you? don't you think they're going to be looking at you, too? think it'll raise any flags when they see you sneaking into my office in the middle of the night and not coming out until the morning? god damn it, brett, it's not like i can just tell them that i love you. i'd lose my job and go to jail and i wouldn't be getting out in a few months. do you want me to ruin my life?" he nearly shouted.

eddy said a lot of things, but brett was only focused on one of them.

"what did you just say?" he said softly, anger melting away like an ice cube in flames. eddy scoffed and frowned at him.

"what do you mean, what did i just say? were you not listening to—"

"you love me," brett mumbled.

eddy's cheeks reddened even more so than they already had. he hadn't meant to let those words slip through his lips, yet they'd gotten away from him long before he was ready. he sighed.

"that's not the point, brett. we can't do this. you have to go."

tears welling in his eyes, the smaller man bit his lip. he knew eddy was right. but that didn't make it hurt any less.

"i love you, eddy," he whispered, slowly wrapping his arms around the warden's waist and hugging him tightly.

eddy said nothing as he hugged brett back, fearing for their future.