Hopeless

Putting Pieces Back in Place

It had been two months since Hobi's birthday, he was still struggling a bit but things had been so much better.

True to their word the Boys were helping Hobi as much as they could.

Hobi was never left alone, there was always a member with him in everything he did. Except for showering, it was the one place he was alone. Hobi would still cry letting the water wash away his tears, the sound of it rushing out masking any sounds of his sobs. He knows they know he cries in there, but they don't say anything about it. Jin had told him the day of his birthday when they got back to the dorm that it was okay for him to cry, and if he needed to be alone or on one of their shoulders to do it that it was okay, just to never forget that they were there for him.

Hobi still weighed very little but he was slowly gaining back the weight he had lost, Jin forced Hobi to stay with him whenever he prepared meals and a member always stayed with him until he finished his meal. the first week had been hard, he threw up anything he ate, at first it was habit to force it up, then it was just his body rejecting it. Jimin had to install a lock on their shared bathroom on the outside so Hobi couldn't sneak in there to throw up at first. Jimin had found Hobi on the second day with the end of a tooth brush pushed down his throat forcing himself to bring back up the lunch they'd just eaten. 

They had both cried that day holding onto each other like either could slip from their grasp. Jimin would never let Hobi leave again and Hobi was too scared he would lose them for being stupid and taking things to heart. Jimin and the rest of the members had told him time and time again he wasn't stupid that they should have done more to realise what was happening.

 The nightmares had come back and were worse than ever over the weeks he'd been back at the dorm. each night he would wake up gasping for air covered in sweat, his throat sore from obviously screaming in his sleep. Only now he woke up in the arms of his friends. They took turns staying with him, Hobi wasn't expecting it, the first night back Yoongi had come into his and Jimin's shared room carrying a pillow under his arm "I'm staying with you tonight" he had told Hobi, Yoongi had climbed in beside him giving Jimin a knowing nod before pulling Hobi down with him and holding him close. Hobi could feel the warmth radiating from Yoongi and it was calming. for so long he had been forcing himself to stay awake scared of the nightmares, Yoongi had rubbed his back softly that night whispering calmly in his ear that he was there and not going anywhere.

even now two months later as he looked beside him as Yoongi held him tight after he'd had another nightmare he felt his body instantly relax, that same warmth from night one clinging to him beneath the sheets.

"do you want to talk about it?" Yoongi would ask, and sometimes Hobi would, he would tell him every detail and Yoongi would try to help him make sense of them. and sometimes he wouldn't say a thing, Yoongi would hold him closer during those times.

Some nights got so bad that it took a few members to get him to wake up, Jimin usually being the second, each night as the nightmare overtook him Jimin would wake and watch as one of his fellow members comforted Hobi (unless it was his night) and when he could tell it wasn't enough he would climb out of bed and walk over to help whoever was with Hobi that night, sandwiching Hobi between himself and whoever else was there with him.

The members complimented him more, Hobi was uneasy about it at first and he told them that they don't need to compliment him if it was just to try make him feel better and they would time and time again reassure him that they weren't, that each compliment they gave him was genuine and from the bottom of their hearts. Hobi still had a hard time looking in the mirror without seeing the horrible thing he imagines himself to be, he broke the mirror in their shared bathroom out of anger one day. Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung had gone around with markers leaving little messaging covering all the mirrors in the house with things they loved about him, when he first saw them he cried. he wasn't sure if they were tears of happiness or sadness. part of him felt so lucky to have members who loved himself so much, but another part of him hated that even with these beautiful words his brain still doubted himself and the way he looked.