All Falls Down

4 | let me go

I've been hoping somebody loves you in the ways I couldn't

Somebody's taking care of all of the mess I've made

Someone you don't have to change I've been hoping

Someone will love you, let me go

4

Liam looked around as he set his bookbag on the dining table. Even though he literally spent half his childhood in my house, he hadn't been around much lately. We kind of drifted apart during the end of middle school. With our social circles being different and his disposition of not being around people too much, we hardly got any time to hang out.

The fact that we were trying to study together this year gave me hope that we could salvage our friendship. I wasn't expecting us to become best friends again but I would really like us to not be just acquaintances who barely nodded when they happened to run into each other in the hallway.

'It's the same,' I said.

'Yeah,' he said.

'Do you want something to drink?' I asked but had already started toward the refrigerator without waiting for his answer.

'Yeah, that would be cool,' he said.

I pulled out two cans of coke and a pack of chips from the cabinet above the sink. It reminded me of the broken vase, the pieces of which were still stashed under the sink, behind the garbage can. I still needed to take care of it before mom found out. Surprisingly, she hadn't yet. But then again, she had been so busy these past days. Also, I made sure that I was the one who took the garbage out every day.

We had made considerable progress when the doorbell rang. I looked up at Liam in confusion as if he would know who was at the door.

'Were you expecting someone?' he asked.

I shook my head slowly. 'No,' I said as I stood up. Mom and Dad were out with Jesse and wouldn't be home until at least seven. It was only five-thirty.

As soon as I opened the door, I muttered under my breath, 'Of course.' Of course, it was Wade.

I was so used to him bailing out on me, I didn't think he would show up. It seemed so out there that I had even forgotten about it.

'What are you doing here?' I asked, going for a nonchalance approach.

He took his bottom lip into his mouth and looked at something behind me, instead of looking at me. I tried to not look at what he was doing to his lower lip either. It was highly distracting.

'You didn't text,' he stated, finally looking at me. I didn't. It was only considered a mistake if you did it once. If you did it more than once? Well, it's no longer a mistake but a habit. Only, Wade didn't seem to realize his habit.

I raised an eyebrow. 'So, you assumed it meant you're welcome here?' I had full intention of sending him back. I was so done with him. I was not going to put up with being treated like this.

His shoulders slumped and it was then I realized he hadn't even brought his books. It was supposed to be a study group. I rolled my eyes.

'I thought we were okay,' he mumbled, pushing his hands into his pockets, a slight twist to his mouth. At least now I knew he cared enough to feel a little sad.

'Since I didn't send you another breakup text?' I asked. 'We weren't okay for a long time, Wade. You get that, right?' It felt weird talking about it like this. I stepped out and closed the door behind me. One of the reason being, I wouldn't be tempted to invite him inside.