My soldier

Chapter 16

Jasmine’s POV

It has become a routine of me to go to the field after school. I would always stay for one to two hours there and cry my heart out. So that I wouldn’t have to cry in front of my family and friends. I know I have become a bitch lately. I don’t want to be one, but I cant control it. Always when I see the sad faces afterwards, I feel so bad. That’s why I stopped talking much, so I wouldn’t do something to hurt them. My parents advised to go to a therapist. I could talk to him freely and wouldn’t have to look for his feelings. But I don’t want to go there. So the time I spend more and more time here in the grass. Daydreaming, crying and spacing out.

Today even Isabelle had a fight with me. She wants me to tell her everything. How I’m feeling, what I’m thinking and so on. That’s why I skipped the afternoon to come here and be alone for a while.

Nathaniel’s POV

Jasmine has changed completely. She’s quiet the whole time. She doesn’t laugh at all and I can hear her cry in her sleep. It eating me alive to know everything, but I’m not able to do anything. My parents tried to tell her to go to the therapist, but after that advice, she has completely shut down. She doesn’t even talk to me now. I’m her big brother and its my work to keep her safe and happy. But I cant do anything. I couldn’t keep her safe. And happy? I want to do something but cant do anything.

When she started to come home later then normal. I thought she was spending her time with Isabelle, but when I spoke to Belle about that and she told me, that Jasmine always goes home after school. She never wants to do something with Isabelle. That day I followed Jasmine to be sure, that she wasn’t involved in something stupid, but what I saw was more shocking then what I could think about. Jasmine always went to cry on a empty field on the grass. She would always walk around for a little bit and then fall in the grass and cry her heart out. At home she always plays the safe cards and looks like if the whole pregnancy didn’t effect her, but here in the field shows her real emotions. She was a broken person now. And I couldn’t go to her and speak to her about that. Because she will think that I didn’t trust her and she wouldn’t even talk to me anymore. That scene showed me, how thoughtful my sis was. She never showed her emotions to her family or friends. So that we wouldn’t get worried, but she doesn’t understand that because of her silence, we are getting more and more worried.

Oh god please help me. So that I find one good solution for my baby sis. . .

Jasmine’s POV

I’m on my own. and that’s the only place where I can just stop pretending to be ok and just let go and cry my heart out. Today is no exception. I’m crying when suddenly I hear a truck behind me. I was so in thoughts and busy with crying, that I didn’t even hear it. I think that the truck driver will just drive away, but he comes to me…

Rafael’s POV

I have to drive the trucks back to the station and on my way there, my uncle gave me an extra work to do. I have to check the field. All soldiers have free today afternoon. But because of my uncle I have to do extra work. Its 3 pm now and I’m not finished, but at least there is only one field left now and all trucks have been transported with the help of Dario. I’m on the last few squares of land, when I see a girl on the ground. She looks if she would be crying. I drive over to her, but she doesn’t even look at my way. When I’m about 100 feet away she looks in my direction, but looks away again and stays an her place. I think that’s the girl my uncle told me about last week. I stop 50 feet away and climb out of the truck and go to her. She doesn’t look in my direction. So I go over to her and I want to touch her shoulder, when I remember what my uncle told me about the girl. She has been raped. If I touch her, she will surely flee from me. So I walk about 5 feet in front of her and sit down. I look at her and see that she’s still crying. I think she is beautiful, but unfortunately I cant see her face at all. The only thing I see, are the tears streaming down her face and her brown-black hair. But her hair hasn’t been brushed. It looks, if she has been pulling on her hair while crying. I take all my courage together and speak quietly to her: “hey you? Can I help you?” I ask her. “she looks at me through her hair and her hands are I front of her face. Suddenly she springs up and her back faces me. ooookkkkeeeyyyy????? “look I’m not here to hurt you. I just saw you and wanted to ask if you want to talk or I don’t know if you need something?” I look at her back expectably. Then she talks so quiet that I’m not even sure that I heard her right. “please don’t look at me. please go away. Please.” I don’t know why but her voice seems known. I don’t know how but I have heard this voice once. “sorry do I know you? your voice seems known?” I ask her, but she just starts to run away. I run after her and overtake her. She trips over and can hold her in the last moment, before she falls face first on the ground. I take her in my arms and she hugs me quickly. “please don’t look at my face.” She says and starts to cry. I don’t know what to do. And why in hell didn’t she want me to see her face. Suddenly she collapses in my arms. I take her bridle style in my arms and that’s the first time I see her beautiful but teary face. My angel. That’s my angel I’m carrying and I didn’t even notice. What happened to her and most important where is my happy, laughing and smiling angel. I take her over to a nearby bench and sit down with her in my lap. She’s crying again. And its breaking my heart to see her like that. “angel what happened to you? and please stop crying, please angel. I cant see you crying. Schhh” I hug her tightly and let her cry on my shoulder. After what seemed like ages, she stopped to cry and lookes up in my eyes. “I’m sorry I cried all over you and now your uniform is wet.” She apologises. “its ok my angel. You know I always hoped to meet you again, but I never thought, that I would meet you in such a situations. So do you want to tell me why you were crying?” I look at her pleadingly. I really wanted to know, what happened to her and if someone hurt her. I swear I’m going to beat him up. “I don’t think you really want to know. Its not a nice story. And don’t you have to go and do some work?”  I starts to laugh. “wow angel. You know how to let someone feel unwanted. And about your story I really want to know. I swear, I wont interrupt you.” I  promise her. “ok if you really want to know. It was the day, after my school came to visit the army, that I got….” And so she told me her whole story……