The Silent Deceivers

Chapter 21

Explained but Lied

“You’re nothing to us!” “David’s dead.” “My hoodie.”  “Your parents are dead!” “Who are you?”  “David’s dead!” “You’re nothing!” “It’s all your fault, fault, fault…..”

Shooting bolt upright; I woke up. Sweat pouring down my forehead. Breaths coming in ragged gasps. Heart racing. Tears streaming. For the third day in a row, I woke up scared and alone in the early hours of the morning. I pulled my duvet tighter around me and reached for my bedside light. As the light flickered on and dimly lit the room, I sunk back into my pillows. I lay there, eyes closed, trying to push the terrifying nightmare out of my mind but their voices lingered, haunting me. In the end I couldn’t fight it. I jumped out of bed and pulled on my clothes; grabbing my iPod, I walked downstairs to the back door. Clutching the keys, I turned them slowly and the door unlocked. I let go of the keys, looked over my shoulder and crept out as quite as a mouse. The morning air was refreshing and the sun was waking up ready to start a new day. Everything looked so peaceful, even when I reached the road, there was not a car in sight.

 My run took me through the estate, past the graphitised corner shop and the run down café into the stretch of the woods that hand railed Bridgewater Secondary. My feet pounded along the tarmacked cycle path before I turned onto a trail. I didn’t know where I would end up but I kept on running. I carried on gradually slowing my pace. I followed the trail; over every log and round every bend until I came to an abrupt halt. As I rounded the corner I ducked under a low hanging branch and ran straight into another person. We both muttered an apology and they held out their hand to help me up. Grabbing it, they pulled me up and set me steady on my feet. I lifted my head, opening my mouth to say thank you but all that came out a shocked gasp. Connor stood there, his face inches away from mine, he eyes searching mine for an explanation for the silent treatment he’d been receiving. I gasped again. I dropped his hand from mine, turned on my heels and ran. He shouted after me but that only made me more determined to run faster. I continued running for what seemed like forever, it felt that it had taken longer than it should have to get back to the main path but I decided that it was because I wanted to get away from there so quickly. A fallen tree came up on the path, I was nearly there. Oakley was around the next bend and along the path. Forcing my legs to push harder I kept my sprint, praying my feet wouldn’t fail me and needing the relief of escaping him. I rounded the bend in the path and sped up knowing the back door was getting closer. I didn’t look back, the steady beat of my footprints filled my ears. I ran through the arch of the courtyard, up the back steps two at a time and burst through the back door, slamming it shut behind me. I sunk onto the floor, a lump in my throat and my screaming lungs about to collapse. I rested my head on my knees to let my lungs come back to the world of the living and then hauled myself up with the help of the counter. Commanding my feet to move I walked through the house; as I walked past the hallway mirror I caught a glimpse of Roxy, looking at straight me through the slit between the quiet room doors. I didn’t linger, I turned on my heels and carried on walking. I wasn’t in the mood for a conversation. Every stair took more and more effort, my legs felt like jelly and my head was pounding. Crossing the landing, made me gain a pile of paperwork I needed to do from Lisa and a drawing of me from Luke. I smiled as I looked my pink skin, green lips and spaghetti yellow hair. Watching him scurry back into his bedroom bought a sense of compassion and acceptance. It was like déjà vu, I remembered Luke often greeting me at the top of the stairs after school with a new version of me to pin on my wall. I carried on into my room, pinned it up on my notice board and shoved the paperwork in a draw with the rest. I would do it later. I fell back onto my bed and stared at the ceiling, my body ached and my head was pounding so bad I thought it would explode. I rolled off my bed and landed with a thud on the floor next to my cabinet. I leaned back resting my head against the cold wood. It was calming. I picked up my phone and clicked it on. No call yet. There would be. He’d call. I was sure of it. I sat there and waited, tossing my phone up and down out of pure boredom; catching it, then dropping it, then catching it. My record was thirty four times without dropping it, pretty well even if I do say so myself. I dare you to try and beat it, I bet you can’t! After dropping it on the floor and adding another long, deep scratch to my screen; I stopped and began to waste time with another one of my friends; red wine. Mum and Dad had never let me drink EVER! Not even Champagne on New Year or Bucks Fizz on Christmas, I’d been banned from parties with alcohol and no friends were allowed to bring alcohol into our house. Those were the rules BUT rules are made to be broken. I’d had alcohol before I joined the gang, oh yes. I’d had a lot of alcohol before I joined the gang. It was quite fun, sneaking it upstairs under my jumper, or in the bag containing friends ‘presents’; I enjoyed the thrill. I unscrewed the lid and began to drink. Setting the bottle down next to me I checked my phone, nothing.