A Race to New World // ATEEZ Dystopia AU

11 | San

Somewhere above Lake Michigan, United States
(around one hour away from Toronto)

I opened my eyes just as someone started knocking on the bedroom door. I propped myself up with my elbows and reached for the small control panel on the wall next to my bed, switching on a dim set of lights for my visitor.

Wooyoung slipped through a small gap at the door and closed it immediately. He set down a wooden tray on my bedside table, and the smell of cup noodles filled the room. He sat down on the armchair in the corner.

"Eat. You haven't in a while."

I didn't budge yet, waiting for him to continue. Since we boarded the plane three hours ago, since Hongjoong confronted us about what happened in the airport, Wooyoung still hadn't brought up the subject with me, and the awkwardness and tension between us was suffocating me.

This was also why I chose to stay in one of the bedrooms - not to rest, but to avoid the accusing gazes I knew Jongho would shoot at me if I were sitting in the front.

Things could've gotten so much worse if Jongho was even one minute - no - one second late in pushing the Invinc away. It wouldn't just be a simple scratch on Jongho's hand. All three of us would be injured, or worse, dead.

"Eat," Wooyoung repeated.

Something switched on in my body, and suddenly I feel horribly famished. When was the last time I've eaten? When I first boarded the plane to Vancouver? I shuffled to the edge of my bed and grabbed the styrofoam cup, stuffing scalding noodles into my mouth.

It took maybe five minutes for me to finish, and I realized, regretfully, that it was too fast. I wasn't ready for what was about to come. I drained the soup, too, although it felt too salty and unhealthy inside my stomach. When I could no longer stall for time, I bit on my bottom lip and wait.

Wooyoung let out a breath and met my eye. "San--"

I stopped him before he could even start, holding my hand up. I couldn't look at him. "I know." I cleared my hoarse throat. I heard Wooyoung sigh. He let me talk. "I know. I won't even ask for your forgiveness. Even if you're my friend. It's too much, and I know that. You don't have to put up with my foolishness." I dropped my hand onto my knees, and my fingers scratched at my jeans, trying to grab onto some of the fabric. To have a firm grip on something. Or am I too weak to do even that?

A large, round drop escaped my eye and landed on the back of my hand. Then another. I couldn't stop the scenes from reappearing in front of me. My cousin, screaming and kicking, struggling to escape a circle of desperate, heartless monsters assaulting him, while I watched helplessly. Uselessly. I could still hear his plea. Calling for me to help. He knew I was there.

"He knew... he knew I was there. But- But I let my father pull me away, and we just left him there. He was right there! I could've pulled him out, ran with him in my arms towards the space--"

"San!"

I flinched and jerked up, my vision no better than if I were to be underwater. Someone squeezed both of my shoulders, sending a jolting pain through my bones.

"San! Are you listening to what you're saying?" Wooyoung was glaring at me. I thought so, anyway. I couldn't really see through the sea of tears. "You were a young, average man. Barely an adult. What were the chances of you standing up against whoever it was attacking your cousin? And even you did manage to win, how do you expect to outrun them while carrying another person?"

His shouting made my heart pound, and my chest grew tight and sore. I felt even worse hearing his words.

"San, look at me," Wooyoung's voice softened when he saw me break down. His hands moved to my cheeks instead, forcing me to look up. "It wasn't your fault. You would've died with your cousin if you tried saving him, and what good would that be? Think about your parents. About me. You could've broken our hearts, but I'm sure- I'm sure your parents are so worried about you now. And I am, too."