Since You've Been Gone

chapter 9- walmart at 10 o'clock

almost (sweet music) - hozier

If I'm being honest, I didn't expect to be at Walmart at 10 o'clock on a Friday night, but my life is an absolute mess. Thanks to Raeanna and my period surprising me a week early, I was out looking for tampons.

I looked retched. My hair was tangled in a top knot on top of my head, my glasses were pushed to the top of my nose, and I was wearing a pair of Tobias' old sweatpants. Overall a 0 out of 10 look. But hey, it is what it is.

After scouring for a box of tampons and grabbing an obligatory pint of ice cream, I was finally on my way to checkout.

"Why the fuck would you put tampons on the top shelf... for fuck's sake," I grumbled. I mean seriously? I was milliseconds away from starting a riot.

I couldn't get out of the store fast enough. All I wanted to do was go home and eat all of this ice cream and watch TV. Nothing else. But I guess that was too much to ask for because as I was turning the corner to the cash registers, I bumped into someone.

"Oh, my bad." I scrambled to pick up the ice cream as it began to roll down the aisle. "Connor?"

"I think these are yours." He handed over the box of super tampons and at that moment I had never wanted to crawl into a hole and die more. Can you say embarrassing?

"Thanks." He nodded his head and rocked back on his heels.

"Well," I drawled out, "Guess I'll see you around. Have a good night, C."

"Wait, Hope!" Connor called out as I began to walk away. "Do you want to get lunch or something one day? We can catch up and just talk."

"Um." Oh shit. What do I do? Yes or no. Oh fuck. Layla was gonna kill me. "Yeah, okay... um just text me?" In all honesty, I didn't even know if Connor still had my number. But surely, he could find it from someone.

"Okay. I'll text you later then." He smiled at me and then turned down the aisle. What the fuck just happened?

- -

The next morning, I woke up with two messages from an unknown number.

'Hey, it's C. Sorry for the new number. Got a new phone.'

'Lunch today at 12? Diner on Main Street?'

So last night wasn't a dream? That actually happened. I let out a long sigh and typed my response.

'OK. See you soon.' 

I quickly took a shower and tried to decide what to put on. What do you wear when you're rekindling with your ex-best friend who you were deeply in love with? Jean shorts and a tank top, sounded good to me.

Making my way down the stairs I began looking for my mom. Getting past her without playing a game of 20 Questions, could be a task.

"Okay mom, I'm off." I kissed her on the forehead and grabbed my purse.

"Where are you going?"

"Lunch with... Layla. Did I forget to tell you?" If only she knew.

"It must have slipped my mind. Have a good time, sweetie." She turned back to the book she was reading and sipped on her tea. What a classy lady. I guess what she didn't know, didn't hurt her.

The entire drive to the diner, my hands were shaking. Part of me didn't know why I was so nervous, but the rational side understood. Both Connor and I were two totally different people now. We were both in relationships. We had grown individually and I didn't know if we would be compatible now.

Through the front of the restaurant, I could see Connor stacking the salt and pepper shakers. I couldn't back out now.

"Sorry, I'm late." I collapsed into the booth.

"Your  mom give you any trouble?" He smiled at me from across the booth. His smile still made me smile.

"Actually," I sighed, "She wasn't bad. I just wasn't ready."

"Well, you look nice." He said. At that moment, I took in Connor's outfit. He was wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans. I assumed that he was also wearing his cowboy boots also. Typical Connor.

"So, are you excited to be back?" I asked.

"Excited is not exactly what I would call it." The mid-morning sunshine was pouring in through the window beside us, and it shined on Connor as he spoke. He looked good. "I'm glad to be back with my grandpa, you know? But I was glad to get out when I left. I think I needed a fresh start."

I didn't know what to say honestly. I mean yes, his mom died. Yes, his whole family fell apart. It made sense that he wanted a new start, but I don't know, I guess a part of me wanted to be the one to put him back together.

"But there are certain bonuses of being back."

"Really like what?"

"Besides grandpa and the farm, I've got the boys and I can play football with them now. And I won't lie, there is a certain charm about being back in my hometown. Oh, and I can't forget about you." What. The. Fuck. Excuse me?

I coughed on the water I was drinking and my eyes nearly flew out of my face. "Me?"

"Yeah. Listen H, when we left, I was a total asshole. I threw away practically all of our childhood and became an A1 douche."

"Connor-"

"No, Hope. I'm serious." He rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. "I was a jerk."

I had been waiting for this exact moment for three years, and now that it was actually happening I was speechless. What the fuck do I say? 'Oh, it's fine Connor! Sorry I was in love with you!'? No. I may be desperate but I wasn't that desperate.

"I  don't really want to talk about this right now. " Right as I spoke those words, the bell for the front door of the diner rang, and in stepped my father and some of his business associates. "Oh fuck."

"What? What's wrong?"

"Connor, we need to leave. My dad can't see that I'm with you. Fuck."

"Okay don't worry. I got it."

We watched as my father got seated towards the back of the restaurant, overlooking the pond outback. Thank God.

Connor put money down on the table and then grabbed my hand in his, pulling me outside at an incoherent speed. We ran until we were inside of his truck and then we burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

I missed the times like this, where we completely forgot about where we were or what we were doing and just lived in the moment. It felt so good to be back with Connor and experience even just a little bit of what we used to have.

"Do you wanna go for a ride?"

I thought about it for a minute. What would my mom say if I was out so long? What would my dad say if he noticed that my car was at the diner but I wasn't? "Sure. Why not?"

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hi guys! a bit of a longer chapter here. things are definitely staring to heat up. what do you think about connor and hope? will everything be easy from here on out? who knowssss.