Too Close | Rosalie Hale

Chapter 10

"I'm so proud of you," Rosalie cheered as she hugged Lex. They had just returned from the house and were hanging out in Rosalie's room. 

Lex was so incredibly relieved that their training  was over, and that Bella was no longer there. It wasn't that she didn't like Bella— she was a nice girl— it was just that she made Lex so much more aware of the burning in her throat. It had required so much focus and effort to not rip her throat out.

"Thanks," Lex sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. 

"Are you alright?" Rosalie asked. Her brows were furrowed in concern.

"I just thought that I'd feel more in control after today," Lex replied glumly. 

"What do you mean?" Rosalie asked. "You did an amazing job at controlling yourself."

Lex sighed again. "I guess I was just hoping that I would be able to have a sort of normal life sometime soon. But today, most of my focus was on not killing Bella. And I know that it's not always going to be like this, but I also know how hard things still are for Jasper, and he's been doing this for over fifty years. I know we're immortal, but I don't know if I can keep feeling like this for that long, Rosalie. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I even miss going to school— which is so not something that I thought I would ever say, but it's true."

Lex's face was full of sorrow and stress. She had been keeping those thoughts pent up, but now that she truly understood how difficult this life was, and how difficult it would continue to be, she had to let them out. 

"Love, I promise you," Rosalie said. "This will get better. You're still a newborn— that's when the urges are the strongest. And you've been doing a really really amazing job with controlling yourself. All of us are so proud of you. But you can't keep comparing yourself to others. Yes, Jasper has been on our diet for fifty years, but he was feeding from humans for almost twice that amount of time— that's why this is so difficult from him. You were only feeding from humans for a few weeks, and you've only been feeding from animals for that same amount of time. I know that it feels impossible, but it's not. We've all been where you are now, so trust me when I say— it truly does get better. You just need to move at your own pace, and stop putting so much pressure on yourself— that's only going to make you feel worse."

"Okay," Lex said. She was still feeling down, but Rosalie's speech had relieved some of the worry that had built up in her mind. "But I'm never going to see my family again, am I?"

Rosalie pursed her lips. "Probably not... I'm so sorry, Love."

"It's not your fault," Lex sighed. "I just feel so guilty about it. I wish that I could do something to take their pain away, but I can't."

Rosalie pulled Lex in for a hug.

"You know, I was supposed to have a brother," Lex said.

Rosalie pulled away from the hug. "What do you mean?"

"The details are hazy, but I can still remember bits and pieces," she said. "When I was four, my parents told me that they were expecting another baby, and I remember being really excited. I was going to be a big sister— I told everyone who would listen. I was even more excited when I found out that it was a boy. My parents and I loved watching my mom's stomach grow, and feeling the baby kick, and all that. It was truly magical. But one day, my mom came home, and her stomach was flat again. She was really sad for a really long time after that, and she never really went back to being the person that she was before."

"Lex, I am so sorry," Rosalie was stunned. She couldn't even begin to imagine what that was like, or the pain that Lex and her family must have felt. For as long as she could remember, she had wanted a child.

"I just feel really guilty, and scared for my parents," Lex said. "Losing one kid was hard on them, but at least they still had me. And now they don't and I fear for them every day that I'm not with them. And I know that my power could help them, but I'm not strong enough yet. I can't trust myself enough to save them from what happened to me, and it's tearing me apart, Ro," Lex's voice cracked from the emotions that she was experiencing. She wished that she could cry— it wasn't cute, but it had always provided her with some form of catharsis— but that wasn't an option anymore. 

"I really wish you would have told me all of that sooner, Love. I would've helped you. I promise that I'll keep an eye on them for you," Rosalie told her. "I can go check in with them and see how they're doing. And I can bring Jasper, so that he can help with their pain. It won't be permanent, and it won't fix everything, but I hope that it brings them at least a little bit of peace until you can trust yourself enough to help them yourself."

"Thank you," Lex breathed in relief. This was something that had been weighing her down since she had been turned, but she had never been sure that it was worth bringing up. It had felt like a problem that she was solely responsible for. "I don't know what I would do without you."

"I hope we never have to find out," Rosalie replied. She had searched for her mate for so long, and in the short weeks that they had really known each other, rather than simply knowing of each other, Rosalie already couldn't imagine living a day without her.

"Me too," Lex smiled softly. 

A/N:

Y'all I am so exhausted rn, so this chapter is super short. I am so sorry. I really tried to make it longer, but my body just wasn't ready to go back to school, and I need to re-learn how to exist properly lol.

Thanks so much for reading! I seriously appreciate all of the support you guys have shown for this story!