How to make your teacher fall in love with you

Chapter 52

Hi, so this is a chapter I wrote very quickly, and I feel like I need to explain it. It's from John's point of view, and basically you'll get to find out why he did what he did. The majority of the chapter is a flashback of when he met Beth. 

Chapter 52- John's POV

"Ella!" I heard Edward yell. The sound of doors opening, cars screeching and goodness knows what else emerge. I knew that no one cared about me, but I would have appreciated if someone had come to help me out of the car. I was too weak to do it on my own. Ella and I had both been seriously hurt by the impact. I didn't deserve anyone's help. I deserved what I was getting for all I had done to them. The truth was, I put on a tough shell but I was a coward, the main reason being that I was scared of my brother. He had assigned me to do what I had and I know I should not have. I had hurt too many people along the way, even innocent ones who had nothing to do with my brother's revenge.

My head started spinning and I felt myself falling, down, down into a black hole, and I landed with a thud. 

Flashback 

I sighed as I made my way through the crowd. It was Wednesday, a school night, and I started work early the next day. So you might ask, why the hell is he out at 11pm, risking to look deprived of sleep the next day in front of his students? 

Easy. I'd just found out that Edward and Ella were officially a couple. I shouldn't actually know yet, because they did not tell me. But I had my own ways of finding out, shameful ways which did not shame me much at all anymore. The camera I had installed in the art room had worked wonders. So had the camera showing Edward's living room. Through them, I knew everything. 

I sound like a freak... and I probably am. But no one knows what I've been through, so no one can really judge. The pink flashing light in the club moved to my eyes, momentarily blinding me. I glared at it and made my way to the bar, sitting down on a vacant stool. I ordered a whisky shot and downed it within its arrival. I sighed, feeling sweat on my arms immediately. I couldn't drink much, I had to drive myself home and prepare tomorrow's lessons. 

This wasn't like me at all, actually. I rarely went out, especially by myself, or when I had to work the next morning, and I rarely drank. Clubs were not really my thing, but I'd found myself in an uncomfortable situation and wanted to go someplace unfamiliar. Because the truth was, even though hidden under a mask of lies and a sick mind, I had fallen for Ella, majorly.

I had known her for ages because of her father, but I didn't really know her. I observed her during her art classes, and soon realized that I too was, in a way, attracted to her, just like Edward. And I was in a conflict with myself about it, because she was the daughter of a person who had died because of my brother. And it was because of her father that my brother was back in jail. So in a way, I hated her. Then, on that day when I'd spoken to her and driven her to the cemetery, I thought, why not spite Edward, since I knew he liked her. And I kissed her. And it was those few moments that I spent with her that made me fall for her. But then she hadn't chosen me. She had chosen Edward.

In all of this, I'd somehow managed to get a stalker of my own. The photo with Ella scared me for a while, because I did not want to be fired from the college, which had taken me so long to get into, or Edward to stop speaking to me after he found out. I needed Edward to be my closest friend. I needed him to trust me. It didn't take me long to find out that the photo had been taken and sent by Nathan. So now, I was keeping an eye on him. Hopefully someday, he would start helping me out. 

I took a deep breath, understanding what a load of baggage I had taken when I accepted my brother's request to help him out. I ignored the feeling of annoyance that was circling inside of me, and ordered a shot of tequila this time. And another. My brother had not only taken away his own freedom, but he had stripped me off of mine. And it was slowly driving me crazy. I either had to quit, or have someone help me out.