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Ashlyn Jesse


The first thing I become aware of is an insistent beeping beside me. My body seems to thrum as my head spins, unable to form coherent thoughts. There are bits and pieces swimming around but not processing.

My fingers dully move against the heavy weight of my thick blood, stiff and leaden. All my movements are slow and sluggish.

I can't tell if it takes me minutes or hours before I am able to pry my eyelids open.

Bright white light floods my vision as my eyes rapidly scan the room.

With a sudden jolt, I realized I couldn't breathe. Fear and pure panic thuds in my veins. What is happening?

My hand flew up to my face, not coordinating with my brain signals, the back of my hand lands on my face with a thud. There is something covering my mouth, I struggle to pull it off of my face. The beeping beside me gets more erratic as the panic starts to set in.

"AJ?" My dads voice comes from somewhere in the room, his head of brown hair swimming in my vision.

My moms voice sounds further away as she calls for someone.

"Hey, sweetie." My dad says softly. I dully feel his hand brushing against my arm.

I pull on the thing covering my face and open my mouth to speak but find that my throat is restricting against my words.

"No no no, don't try and talk." Dad whispers into my ear. "You're okay. Just try and breathe."

I pulled at the thing covering my face again, pushing the words out of my mouth. "Off." The sound was scratchy and inaudible.

My dad gently grasped my hand and moved it back down to my side before responding. "It's a mask. It's helping you breathe."

Shaking my head, I try and move my other hand to take it off, only to have something tug my hand to the side. I turn my head over and look towards my hand, sharply intaking air as I see the wires connecting several machines to the back of my hand.

"AJ." My dad croons, drawing my attention back to him.

I let his face focus in my vision.

His hair is messy, like he hasn't washed it in awhile. There are bags under his eyes, his cheeks sunken in.

What in the hell was happening?

The beeping in the room gets faster and drowns out the other sounds as vision blurs again. "Nurse!"

I am thrown back into a fuzzy haze in an instant. My head feels as if it is floating, my body along with it. I am in a hospital.

-

I am in and out of consciousness for what seems like hours. Sometimes there is a nurse beside my bed and others I am alone in the persistently too bright room.

But why was I in the hospital?

Sweat licks the nape of my neck as I mindlessly sit up. A ragged and pained gasp leaves my lips as the strain of the movement causes my sides to erupt in agony. I sling my arms across my hips to try to ease the pain.

The pain. The bruises. The fire. 

It must have been too much last night.

I looked out the window to the side of my bed. It was dark outside.

Or however many nights ago that was.

Just how long had I been here?

The mask and some of the wires were gone, as well as the heart monitor.

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