Little Sparrow

Chapter Seven

"I just don't understand why they would want you," Sally said.

Charity looked at me from the other side of the room, pulling a face while she secured the end of her plait and tucked it up inside her bonnet. I looked away to keep from laughing, jamming my bonnet onto my head and tucking my hair behind my ear, the ends tickled my chin. Our conversations always seemed to end up back on the Atkinson's with Sally stunned at the mere idea that someone would want to adopt me over her.

She seemed unable to wrap that thought around her head.

"I can hardly believe it myself," I said.

"Are they sure they want you? Out of all of us?"

"Just drop it, Sally. Maybe they heard how needy you are and decided you weren't worth the paper you're written on. Let Lizzie have it, she deserves it," Charity said.

"She said she didn't want to be adopted," Sally mumbled.

I watched her tuck some loose strands of hair up into her bonnet to keep it out of her face, but she said nothing more on the matter. It had been four days since my meeting with the Atkinson's and Sally refused to accept that someone might have been interested in me rather than her. Her constant comments and mutterings under her breath had become fairly tiresome and even some of the other girls had become frustrated with her.

Despite how annoying her comments were, I understand where her grievances may have been coming from. Most of the time, once someone had been chosen for adoption, they left that very same day. No one ever stayed behind if they had a chance to get out, so Sally's comments were usually kept to the first day and then once the girl had been removed, she stopped talking about it. I always thought it was her way to make people feel bad and have them refuse to go with their new family. The longer this went on, the more likely it seemed.

Once dressed, and with my shawl shoved under my bed to keep away from Sally, I followed the other girls from the dormitory and down the stairs to the dining hall. Dawn had yet to set in, and the entire orphanage sat in darkness, waiting for the moment the sun popped above the buildings and allowed for the small slither of light that broke through the dirt-covered windows.

I took a seat on one of the benches, accepting a bowl of lukewarm porridge and prodding at it with the spoon. It had never been all that appetising, but it would be enough to last until supper when we had something a little more substantial. Since finding out I would be meeting the Atkinson's son, my appetite had all but vanished. Even if I ate anything, I struggled to keep it down. My fear levels were just too high.

"You have to eat something, Lizzie, it's been four days and I doubt you can survive on the steak-and-kidney pudding that long," Charity said.

"I'm not hungry."

"Come on, even mush is better than nothing. It might be a week before you meet their son, you'll keel over by then," Ethel added.

"You can have it if you want it." I nudged my bowl over to them, ignoring the grumbles of my stomach.

Even if they both complained about my not eating, they split the bowl of porridge between the two of them. I stared at the empty bowl in front of me, my stomach groaning in protest but I knew that no matter how much it might have complained, I would not be able to keep the porridge down. Instead, I watched Charity and Ethel finish the bowl for me and waited for Matron to dismiss us to complete our chores. At least chores helped to keep my mind a little clearer.

Just as the sun started to break through the grime on the windows, Matron ordered us to our chores. I gathered up my brush and a bucket from the cupboard and joined the girls outside by a pump that gave us our water. A cold chill hung in the early morning air, small goosebumps forming on my arms. I wished I had grabbed my shawl, but I knew I would get something on it since the ash from the fireplace managed to get everywhere and I did not want to ruin the gift from Mrs Atkinson.