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When 17-year-old Arbor Hayes' best friend turns up alive after a mysterious six-month disappearance, she must piece together the fragments of her story to make sense of what happened. But as clues e...
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Emma's Journal Entry
January 7
Today's assignment: Write about something that scares you.
Surprise, it's me again! Back with another installment of Mr. Zhang's Weekly Journal Entries. And the answer to today's riveting question is:
Nothing. Nothing scares me anymore.
W O W
It's been a long time since I've said that, and even longer since I believed it. Before, too many thoughts kept me awake at night. Too many fears spiraling out of control in my head, causing a constant tremor in my chest, as if a thousand angry bees had built a hive in my heart.
But all that's changed. No longer am I worried about all those crazy what-ifs. Instead, I'm focused on the future and how amazing it's going to be.
Wait—did I say amazing?? What I mean is, it's going to be abso-fuckin-lutely fantastic! A future where I'm happy and loved. And most of all—FREE.
If you haven't noticed, my head's in a completely different place than when we last crossed paths! The storm clouds have parted and all I see now is the great big beautiful sunshine, warming my face and guiding my way. There is so much positive energy flowing through me lately, I feel like a tiny Buddha! LOL
It's crazy, right? Looking over my past journal entries, I don't feel anything like the girl who wrote them—and that's because I'm not. That girl was confused, depressed, and sometimes angry, hiding it all behind the person she pretended to be. So much has changed, and my life is completely turning around.
After my fight with Jordan, I feared my future would be over. But I think she's kept her mouth shut. Maybe all that talk about telling my parents was nothing but lies? It was a shitty thing for her to do, but I get it. If the situation were reversed, I'm sure I'd be pissed too. Maybe I'd even go as far as to devise my own plans for revenge. The question is: would I go through with it?
Hard to say. Because we never really know what we're capable of until we're backed into a corner. And let's face it, some corners you need to fight tooth and nail if you want to get out alive.
But I'm not an idiot. No matter what happens, I can't let my guard down. Not even a little. Just because Jordan hasn't said anything doesn't mean she won't. If I've learned anything this past year, it's that you can never truly trust anyone except yourself.
As much as I don't want to, I have to smooth things over with her. Not to the point where she thinks we stand a chance, just enough so she doesn't hate me so much. But that's easier said than done. Jordan hasn't even looked in my direction since that afternoon in the locker room. Not in the hallways, or at lunch. Not even at soccer. Getting her to forgive and forget is going to take a lot of work.
